What y’all doin for New Year’s?

Quote of the Day     “New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.”     —Mark Twain

Have you asked or been asked yet? “What are y’all doin for New Year’s?” It is no simple, innocent question; to the contrary it is a query fraught with uncertainty, tinged with suspicion, steeped in desperation. For on New Year’s Eve, more so than any other day, it is imperative to do something significant and memorable and to end the year on just the right, high note. To fail at New Year’s Eve is to leave a gaping blank space in the part of your memory where the really great times are stored. It is to leave yourself undefended in the face of the ultimate verbal dagger–“man, you shoulda been there”–able only to blank stare in return to your assailant’s slowly shaking head and contemptuously piteous eyes. It is to waste one of that small allotment of days scheduled from the moment of birth as optimum for experiencing pure joy and renewal. The pressure can be overwhelming. The ubiquitous question of the day is more than just a request for information or inspiration, it is a challenge. 

As TB reflects on my own checkered New Year’s past, I recall a few good ones, a couple of bad ones, and to complete the cliche, they were most all ugly. But for many years my ARB’s and I redeemed our December 31 mediocrity with a New Year’s Day football, food and beer fest for the ages (not to mention a few infamous moonshine moments). Moderation on the night before could even become a virtue as it allowed one to arrive first to the party, thus claiming the most treasured chair and the honor of flicking the first foam across the room. Scoop was dominant in this category for many years. That party continues, sans Travellinbaen, but with the changes to the NCAA’s bowl system, it lost a bit of its luster. 

TB misses attending these celebrations of all the major galaxies of the male world–gambling, debate, one-liners and gluttony. And I miss the occasional challenge to a foot race, or to drink a shot of beer each minute for as long as possible, or if there was moonshine that day, to tackle Waldo in a mudhole. 

The crowd I run with these days has its own tradition. We go. In the last few years I’ve rung in the New Year in Kauai, Hawaii overlooking Poipu Beach during a tropical storm, in a hotel room next to the ski slopes in Park City, Utah eating pizza and drinking wine, and in a Breckenridge, Colorado, condo getting the timer of my digital camera to snap our picture at the moment the apple dropped in Times Square and the number “2008” flashed on the TV screen in the background. We watch the red stiletto drop in Key West each year. We discuss the whether to stay up until New Year’s local time, but always decide that once the New Year has reached the central time zone we can call it a night. On New Year’s Eve, we’ve yet to dance at midnight or drink to excess, or even to blow one of those horns that spits out the rolled up paper (what the hell are those called?), and I’ve eschewed football on TV on New Year’s Day in favor of more active pursuits. This year I’ll be at Beech Mountain in North Carolina with more beautiful girls in pajamas in one room than TB once thought possible. At 1, 4, and 7, three of the five don’t yet know the pressure of getting New Year’s right–simply staying up until midnight will be a rousing success for the latter, while the former two will be sensibly sound asleep. I liked it the old way. I like it the new way. But we don’t have a plan yet for New Year’s Eve nor Day. And we gotta do something. Or maybe we don’t. But I gotta decide. The pressure is on. What are y’all doin?

Posted in Life, Philosobaen | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Merry Christmas Everybody

It’s Christmas Eve here at TB’s. Batteries are bought, camera is charged, and gifts are wrapped…I hear Santa’s been spotted by NORAD. My crowd is packing up for a long winter’s vacation.  Time to relax and savor the season. I’ll be on the lookout for any good conversations, or blank stare moments or even some cynical observations worth writing about here. For now, enjoy the text below of a traditional Christmas Eve tale I used to see every year on WLOX TV back when I lived on the coast.

Enjoy your day and your families. 

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Travellinbaen.

Quote of the Day    A Cajun Night Before Christmas

alligator.jpgTwas the night before Christmas an’ all t’ru de house, 
Dey don’t a ting pass Not even a mouse.
De chirren been nezzle good snug on de flo’, 
An’ Mama pass de pepper t’ru de crack on de do’.

De Mama in de fireplace done roas’ up de ham, 
Sit up de gumbo an’ make de bake yam. 
Den out on de by-you dey got such a clatter, 
Make soun’ like old Boudreau done fall off his ladder.

I run like a rabbit to got to de do’, 
Trip over de dorg an’ fall on de flo’. 
As I look out de do’in de light o’ de moon, 
I t’ink, “Mahn, you crazy or got ol’ too soon.”

Cux dere on de by-you w’en I stretch ma’neck stiff, 
Dere’s eight alligator a pullin’ de skiff. 
An’ a little fat drover wit’ a long pole-ing stick, 
I know r’at away got to be ole St.Nick.

Mo’ fas’er an’ fas’er de’ gator dey came 
He whistle an’ holler an’ call dem by name: 
“Ha, Gaston! Ha, Tiboy! Ha, Pierre an’ Alcee’! 
Gee, Ninette! Gee, Suzette! Celeste an’Renee’!

To de top o’ de porch to de top o’ de wall, 
Make crawl, alligator, an’ be sho’ you don’ fall.”
Like Tante Flo’s cat t’ru de treetop he fly, 
W’en de big ole houn’ dorg come a run hisse’s by.

Like dat up de porch dem ole ‘gator clim! 
Wit’ de skiff full o’ toy an’ St. Nicklus behin’. 
Den on top de porch roof it soun’ like de hail, 
W’en all dem big gator, done sot down dey tail.

Den down de chimney I yell wit’ a bam, 
An’ St.Nicklus fall an’ sit on de yam. 
“Sacre!” he axclaim, “Ma pant got a hole 
I done sot ma’se’f on dem red hot coal.”

He got on his foots an’ jump like de cat 
Out to de flo’ where he lan’ wit’ a SPLAT!
He was dress in musk-rat from his head to his foot, 
An’ his clothes is all dirty wit’ ashes an’ soot.

A sack full o’ playt’ing he t’row on his back, 
He look like a burglar an’ dass fo’ a fack. 
His eyes how dey shine his dimple, how merry! 
Maybe he been drink de wine from de blackberry.

His cheek was like a rose his nose a cherry, 
On secon’ t’ought maybe he lap up de sherry.
Wit’ snow-white chin whisker an’ quiverin’ belly, 
He shook w’en he laugh like de stromberry jelly!

But a wink in his eye an’ a shook o’ his head, 
Make my confi-dence dat I don’t got to be scared.
He don’ do no talkin’ gone strit to hi work, 
Put a playt’ing in sock an’ den turn wit’ a jerk.

He put bot’ his han’ dere on top o’ his head, 
Cas’ an eye on de chimney an’ den he done said:
“Wit’ all o’ dat fire an’ dem burnin’ hot flame, 
Me I ain’ goin’ back by de way dat I came.”

So he run out de do’ an, he clim’ to de roof, 
He ain’ no fool, him for to make one more goof. 
He jump in his skiff an’ crack his big whip, 
De’ gator move down, An don’ make one slip.

An’ I hear him shout loud as a splashin’ he go, 
“Merry Christmas to all ’til I saw you some mo’!”

Author: J. B. Kling, Jr., 1973

Posted in Christmas, Humor | Tagged , | 13 Comments

A Viewers Guide to the Hidden Politics in Christmas Movies

Quote of the Day     In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.     —Ralphie (as adult), A Christmas Story

You’ve seen the same old Christmas movies, specials and cartoons a hundred times, at least. Maybe some of them you still actually enjoy and don’t merely watch out of a misguided sense of tradition. Maybe you watch just to pass on the curse blessing of these traditions to your children. Maybe you watch because the remote is across the room. Whatever the reason, you’re gonna be seeing wall to wall Christmas on television for the next few days. Here’s a suggestion for a new way to watch; one that will give you renewed interest and perspective in your old worn out viewing habits favorites. This Christmas, be on the lookout for the subtle political messages that you may have never previously noticed while waiting to find out if the other reindeer will, in fact, allow Rudolph to join in any reindeer games. If I missed any, let me know.

  1. A Christmas Story–It should be obvious to even the most novice cynic that this timeless classic is little more than a propaganda filled missive sponsored by the NRA and its gun proliferation agenda. Start em young.
  2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer–an early and largely unsuccessful green energy puff piece. It failed primarily because most kids thought Rudolph was the biggest wuss they’d ever seen. 
  3. The Nutcracker–A wildly successful NOW production that has resulted in the testicular shrinkage of countless Dads through the years. Fortunately for the species, it only ensnares those of us blessed with daughters. TB is already mentally steeling myself for the inevitable day of lessening. I’ve got a couple of more years though.
  4. Bad Santa–Another unsuccessful Southern Baptist effort to do away with the jolly old elf by planting the idea he is but a drunken, boorish rogue instead of a harmless, friendly trespasser. How could they have known the rogue would have such mass appeal?
  5. Christmas Vacation–This complex, deeply moving flick could not have been made had the producers not run short of cash. The plumbers’ union kicked in an entire decade’s publicity budget and asked only for this scene to be included to remind people of the important, often forgotten role their members play in the production we call life. Thanks to Supercynic for posting about this a month or so ago and reminding me of the scene. Look closely, that’s Joe the Plumber in an early public appearance. Click here to watch.
  6. Elf–If this isn’t a movie designed to humanize the deadbeat dad I don’t know what else it could be. Seriously, wouldn’t you consider abandoning that kid?
  7. A Christmas Carol–Admit it all you conservatives–when you see Tiny Tim, you start thinking universal health care might not be so bad after all.
  8. Frosty the Snowman–If this one doesn’t make you consider the consequences of global warming, you’re just not trying hard enough.
  9. Schwetty Balls–Actually, I can think of nothing about this that’s political. But it may be the funniest SNL sketch of all time (future blog post alert). Click here to watch.
  10. It’s a Wonderful Life–Bailouts. If this one doesn’t inject just a bit of cynicism into your Xmas cheer, then TB just can’t help you. Hell’s bells, the guy’s name is BAILey. He never paid attention to his bank–the one he inherited by the way–he shamelessly engaged in nepotism with inept family members on the payroll, spent freely to live in the biggest house on the block, lent money to poor people and when it all blew up in his face, he let all those folks who had been paying his fees and interest in the first place for so many years bail him out. It’s a wonderful fraud is what it is. And that wasn’t a bell at the end–it was a cash register.
Posted in Christmas, Entertainment, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

A Very Special Thursday Pickin (Bowl Edition)

Quote of the Day     “Whoa, lemme tell you about Bo Jackson.”     –Keith Jackson (at least in popular lore), the greatest sports broadcaster ever 

It’s college football bowl season almost, and that means a clean slate for everyone in the pickin world. If you held back from pickin because you didn’t tune in until mid-season, here’s your chance for glory. I realize its a bit early for pickin  the big games, but odds are the TB site will lie dormant on the next couple of Thursdays, so here are my picks and my tunes. Your challenge, in addition to pickin winners, is to produce the ultimate end of year/new year playlist. I know that’s kind of tough, so feel free to stretch the connection. There’s also a poll question which should satisfy Zeek and others in getting their shot at good tune pickin recognition on the greatest pickin game on the worldwide web.

My winners:

  • Southern Miss  +4′
  • Florida State -4′
  • BC  -3′
  • USC  -9
  • Texas  -9
  • Utah  +10

Pick of the Bowls–Florida -3

Upset Special–Hotty Toddy wins outright in Dallas

My Tunes to Ring it all in

  • Come on Eileen–Dexy’s Midnight Runners (CoachTeejay remember rockin out to this on the way to the President for the Millenium?)
  • Champagne Supernova–Oasis
  • Steal My Kisses–Ben Harper
  • Cannonball–The Breeders (Takes me back to a French Quarter New Year’s with the whole gang and  the most frightening ride ever with Holly H. at the wheel.)
  • Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da–The Beatles
  • Furnace Fan–Robert Earl Keen (Takes me back to the Hana Highway)

Special Bonus Christmas Song–Merry Christmas From the Family–Robert Earl Keen click here to listen

And finally, a Thursday Pickin Poll–vote early and often.

Posted in Music, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Travellinbaen’s Wanderin Agaen

Quote of the Day     I was trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering.”     –Stephen Wright

TB Recommends:

I was introduced to Stephen Wright’s humor in Coffee and Cigarettes a few years ago. TB recommends this movie highly. You should rent it or catch it on cable when you get a chance. I also saw The Darjeeling Limited on TV a few nights ago, my second time to see it. It’s great, and I love the soundtrack. One of RockStarRambler’s favorite movies is Intolerable Cruelty. I also dig it, and I think its one of the new quotable classics. Two of my favorites:

Gus Petch: You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you come see Gus Petch. 

(note- I took the quote off IMBD which calls Cedric the Entertainer’s character Petch. I’m pretty sure it’s “Pinch” in the movie. Sounds like pinch, and considering the catchphrase he uses throughout, there’s no doubt in my mind the name is Gus Pinch, not Petch)


Miles Massey: Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Henry the Eighth. What do they have in common? 
Wrigley: [thinks] Middle name?     

Intolerable Cruelty also features one of the best character names of all time–Heinz, the Baron Kraus von Espy.

A Moral Delimma:  

If you get too much change or if you’re not charged for something at checkout, then you leave the store and begin driving, but you’ve not yet left the parking lot, should you go back in and make good the mistake? Or does it just even things out from all those times you get gypped?

Something to re-think:

Why do people always say you shouldn’t give money to a bum because he’ll just spend it on liquor? I have always used that cliche, I must admit. But it occurred to me today, if I were a bum I’d want to be drunk as much as possible. It sure would make sleeping under a bridge easier. So from now on, if I don’t give money to a bum and someone is with me, I’m just gonna say, “I don’t like bums.” Or if I’m feeling charitable, I’ll give him a buck and hope he uses it to buy some MD 20-20 like any sensible person in such a terrible state.

A new TB toy:

I’m gonna include a poll question as often as I can think of something good to ask. Of course, for the poll to have scientific accuracy, its gonna need a pool of at least twenty votes. So be a good citizen of the blog and vote.  Today’s question–

Posted in Entertainment, Humor, Life, Philosobaen | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Are You Feelin It Yet?

Quote of the Day     “Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”     —Warren Buffett

They say the economy is tanking. For sure the stock market is, uh, tunk. I’m sanguine about the market’s prospects over the next twenty years, so I don’t let it bother me too much right now that my entire invested life savings would have been better allocated at 85% to a shoe box and 15% to even more wine, woman and song than I blew so much cash on in the first place. But I am getting more and more uneasy about the state of things to come.

It seems no one really understands the problem, least of all those tasked with addressing it, and that is what’s most frightening of all. The bailouts to the financial industry and auto industry are prime examples of problems too complex to appreciate. Most “folks” are against these handouts whether they consider themselves progressive or conservative but I’m not sure that they (we) understand the ramifications of the position. In Washington, the Dems and Bush are pushing the current bailout while the Republicans in Congress are opposing. I’m not sure if the Dems’ approach is wise, but as usual, I hear zero alternatives from the right, only opposition. The big problem with taking sides in this debate is that we cannot see the future, but rather must rely on the predictions of those who have lied to us so consistently for so long that we cannot be sure when they speak truly. This goes for both sides in DC. If the fall of the “Big Three” is allowed to happen and really leads to a million job losses, Richard Shelby and Bob Corker and all the Republicans are going to be ruined. But if Bush, Pelosi and Reid bail out the companies (and Obama come January) only to see them fail later or even fail to thrive soon, they will be finished. Part of me wants this bailout to fail just to see who’s right, for if it passes only the Republicans are covered politically while if it fails both parties are. Part of me wants to see it fail because it is another case of the public absorbing the risk for business while never sharing in the rewards. Part of me wants to see it fail because its another load of debt that will eventually be paid off by higher taxes on all of us. But part of me believes the doomsday scenario of massive job losses and the inevitable spreading and deepening of the recession/depression, possibly even to my very doorstep. That part of me leans toward keeping the Big Three afloat.

Of course the auto bailout is just a small part of the overall problem–remember that the financial industry bailout is a trillion vs 15 billion for the Big Three. The auto bailout they are talking about now is just for petty cash in comparison to the one in September. And that money has not been used as promised, to get banks lending to consumers again. If it were, the Big Three would be in less dire straits. The first bailout was based on lies from the Bush administration and incompetence from the leadership in Congress in believing Paulson et al’s lies and failing to legislate with specific mandates. I could go on and on on this subject but it gives me a headache. Basically, its a mess. And I don’t claim to have a firm understanding of all the threads in the web, much less how they interconnect. 

Other than my retirement accounts, I have yet to feel the pinch personally, and I really don’t know anyone who is feeling it yet. I have read that Mississippi’s foreclosure rate is on pace to lead the nation (last no more!), so I guess I’m just insulated for the time being. I do, however, foresee plausible conditions that could really put my family in financial jeopardy. I’m concerned. For that reason I’m saving where I can, putting off big purchases and generally hoarding cash, all the while buying stock on the big drops. Am I approaching it wisely? I honestly don’t know. All I do is stare blankly–at my portfolio once every few days, or at the TV when the news comes on, or at the new million dollar neighborhood construction I see on the way to work every morning. I’m wondering what everyone else is doing, regardless of how they feel about the money being hemorrhaged up in Washington. Vote below on your state of mind and feel free to amplify on your vote in the comments.

Posted in Blank Stares, current events, Money | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Bradford Gets the Heisman, TB Reacts

Ok, no blog newbies are gonna get any of this, so please click on some of the other posts to get a sense of the TB site. For most of the rest of you, these are my thoughts on that headline, choose one:

  1. Sweet
  2. Blank Stare
  3. What else is new?
Posted in Blank Stares | Tagged , | 10 Comments

Thursday Pickin Closin Ceremonies

Quote of the Day     “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”     –Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights

TB did not want to be the winner of the inaugural season of Thursday Pickin, the best pickin game on the worldwide web (TM). Each week, when I tied with somebody, I bumped them ahead of me. I started givin bonus points away with reckless abandon. It didn’t matter. I had the pickin year of my life. Larry actually had a better record than me on Picks of the Week, but he was horrible in his bonus choices. Pitalo may have beaten me if he hadn’t missed the first three weeks. And MD had a good run on POTW’s but was subpar on bonus picks, missed a week and brazenly ignored the musical portion of the game. Nobody else was even close, really. See for yourself:

Final Season Standings, Thursday Pickin, Year One

  1. Travellinbaen POTW 9-5, Bonus 43-25
  2. Fig E  7-7; 27-26
  3. RMac 8-5
  4. RockStarRambler    7-7
  5. Feidt’s Follies  5-6-1; 35-23
  6. Ed  7-5-1
  7. Pitalo  7-4; 27-20
  8. Larry  9-4; 18-31
  9. Stone  7-6; 12-14
  10. Sweet  5-6-2; 18-35
  11. Supercynic 7-5; 21-27
  12. Zeek  5-6; 16-31
  13. Maddawg 8-4-1; 9-15
  14. OB 6-5; 22-29
  15. JLM 3-7-1; 42-27
  16. Smily 6-4; 21-16
  17. TKH 1-9; 28-22 (wow)
  18. BR 4-7; 10-18
  19. Greeg 3-5; 15-10
  20. Face 4-5; 9-13

Inside the numbers:

The TB community’s overall record was 118-112 on POTW’s and 373-382. If we decide to use our picks in Vegas we need to dump Sweet and Zeek at the curb on bonus picks and ignore TKH’s POTW’s.

Ten of twenty had winning records on POTW’s and eight of seventeen were above .500 on bonuses.

The girls went 18-19-1 on POTW’s vs the guys 100-93.

Direct descendants of Waldo went 8-11-2 and 33-45.

Non-Mississippians went 27-32 and 112-100, dispelling the myth that our best and brightest leave the state.

Now the Awards:

Best Overall Playlist–Larry edges out Fig. Both of these players can program TB’s Ipod anytime, but I can listen to Larry’s tunes allllllll night long.

The Thinkin Man’s Top Playlist–RSR; from the popular to the sublime and all over the spectrum, each week the tunes were put together with a purpose. Adding to the TB library in an attempt to improve my cool quotient.

Best Posts–Ed; everybody doesn’t get his humor, but he had TB rollin all year.

Livin Vicariously Award–Feidt’s Follies

Keepin the Blog Alive Award–Zeek and JLM, who post good comments on a range of topics. As I’ve said before, this page is a lot more fun when you add your two cents.

Terrorist Thread Hijacker Award–MD

I’m sure he had a good reason to quit in week XII award–OB and BR, both lefty pitchers. Coincidence?

Thanks for savin us all from havin to read about Third Week anymore award–MD; Ed and Stone I thought y’all were gonna step up on this one.

Beavis and Butthead Award–Smily

Miss you most award–RMac

Most Posts edited or deleted award–Sweet; Zeek had an early lead, but embraced the PG 17 nature of the site after a few weeks. I can always tell when Sweet’s drinkin.

Blank Stare Award–Smily

Pitalo Award–Pitalo; the only poster on this game I haven’t met. Hope you hang around during the off season.

All Blog Songs of the Year

  • Brother Love’s Travellin Salvation Show–Neil Diamond
  • Travellin Blues–Lefty Frizzell
  • Travelin Man–Widespread Panic 
  • Travelin Light–Robert Earl Keen
  • Hard Travelin–Woodie Guthrie (cover linked here)

Liar’s Award–TB–I really wanted to crush you all.

Posted in Music, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Dogs Win Egg Bowl!

Since I don’t update the “My Life as a Bulldog” page every day, I know many of you may not check it regularly. So I wanted to let you know I finally got around to posting after the debacle that was the 2008 Egg Bowl. I’ve been waiting on an opportunity to declare victory, and with today’s announcement of our new coach, that opportunity is knocking.

Posted in Mississippi, Sports | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Great Uniter

Quote of the Day    

The way a crow 

Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

–Robert Frost, Dust of Snow

Is there anything to unite people of the South, at least of Mississippi, more than the prospect of snow? Oh, sure, there are always naysayers. But I’d venture a guess that over 90% of Mississippians love snow. All it takes is one irresponsible weather man to say snow is “possible” or that we are on a “winter weather watch”, or that “conditions may exist” and the whole state goes into a waiting and watching mode, hoping against hope that this will be that rare year to see it fall and stick, yet knowing deep down that its highly unlikely.

This morning brought such a warning for those of us near Jackson. We’re on a “winter weather watch.” And everybody is watching. So far, its nothing but rain, and a steadily dropping mercury. But we watch. And wait. And hope.

If it snows–really snows–I’m taking the day off tomorrow. I might build a snowman, something I’ve yet to do in my 25 or so snow day career (only about 5 of which were in Mississippi). There’s no one to snowball fight with, though I’ll surely regale my family with tales of the epic snowball battle royale I had back in college with Greekson, Sweet, Smily, and others. Maybe I’ll even find a hill to slide down using a (patent pending) Mississippi sled. That’s if I can find some cardboard big enough. Around the state, the places that get snow will virtually shut down. The schools will close and businesses will freeze operations. People will jam the phone lines, especially from the colleges, calling home to say “It’s snowin!” and “Y’all gettin any?” Others will jump in their cars and skid into shallow ditches. Many photos will be taken. And yeah, a few will grouse.

But for now, we watch. And wait. And hope.

Bonus Quote of the Day

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost, Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Posted in Life, Mississippi | Tagged , , , , | 17 Comments