Quote of the Day:

“We don’t need to talk about it anymore…The world has been warned – my it has been warned. We have done our share and the media picked it up. The world has been warned that it is under judgment.”      –Entrepreneur, Harold Camping

Seldom is there an event, uh, check that–a non-event more suited to ironic, sarcastic and downright comical commentary more perfect than Harold Camping and his “Family Christian Radio” sponsored Day of Judgement, previously scheduled for May 21, now postponed until October. So “why?” TB asked myself. “Why did I let this momentous (non) occasion pass by the blog unmocked?” The sad truth is, I just didn’t find it all that damn funny.

This conclusion bothered me for several days. I have been struggling lately to find topics I cared enough about, or that I found interesting or funny enough, over which to fire an essay off into the oblivion that is the TBU. This was the perfect subject–idiotic, corrupt, publicized and derided across the American political spectrum, uniting us all in a way even the elimination of Public Enemy number one could not. The quotes given to the media were priceless–not only from the diabolical leader of the doomsday cult, Mr. Camping, but especially those of his “flabbergasted”, “dumbfounded”, and “like a cream pie to the face” followers.

Finally it dawned on me. Hordes of shame-faced Americans believed in Camping’s false prophecy, including many fundamentalists who silently hoped he was right and privately gave it better than even odds of truth. (A hundred-million dollar media empire ain’t built on the backs of (only) a dozen nut-cases my friends.) How can so many be so….so….downright stupid? I cannot answer that part. I can only say they are little different than the rest of us.

If there is one thing that virtually all of us agree with in this strange time and place we share, it is that the train is off the rails. America, probably the whole world, is really screwed up. More than usual, I mean. Many liberals like myself blame this primarily on the actions taken during the George Bush Presidency. Oh, that wasn’t the only thing, but some huge powder kegs were lit by that gang. We rose up and helped elect the most unlikely new leader in, possibly, world history. Barack Obama was going to lead us in a new and hopeful direction, regulating and controlling the huge financial interests that brought our economy to ruins. We were stupid for thinking that. Republicans sent us thousands of chain emails to warn us–and lately to mock us for our hope. ‘Course, every damn one of those emails was wrong in its premise. Just not its conclusion.

Republicans? Stupid. A lot of them voted for George Bush. Twice. Most conservatives begrudgingly realize how bad those eight years were. That’s why now they call themselves “tea partiers” or “libertarians.” They are no less stupid than than they were as Republicans though. Their champions’ answers–cutting taxes on the only people who can afford to pay them, unceasing military spending increases, ever-advancing corporate power and Sarah-freakin’-Palin? Trump? Santorum? Gingrich? If there is one thing I now know for certain, it is that four years from now, no matter whether we are led by Obama or one of the TP’ers we are going to all still be stupid for believing our guy is any better than their guy and that the ones who vote the other way are the only stupid ones. That goes for you Ron Paul backers too.

What I am trying to say is, the doomsday chumps are just like us, except, perhaps, they have gained enough wisdom to see that in this F’d up world of ours, there is no earthly answer in sight. Like angry liberals and apoplectic tea partiers and sneering libertarians, they know something is wrong and just like the rest of us, with available answers ranging from the subliminal to the ridiculous, they thought they’d found the answer. Instead of being merely angry, they are hopeless. So they hope for the end, grasping for an answer. Meanwhile, Exxon and Goldman Sachs and Blue Cross executives all grow fabulously, grotesquely wealthy. Harold Camping hasn’t done to bad for himself either.

Bonus Quote of the Day:

“Now the preacher looked so baffled
When I asked him why he dressed
With twenty pounds of headlines
Stapled to his chest
But he cursed me when I proved it to him
Then I whispered, “Not even you can hide
You see, you’re just like me
I hope you’re satisfied”

–Bob Dylan, Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again