Quote of the Day: from “Stand By Me” (1986)
TB used to spend a lot of time in bars, taverns, saloons, dives, clubs and joints. Not so much any more, but I do enjoy an occasional trip down memory lane. Such was the case this past Saturday. I look at things in these places through a different lens now than I used to. For instance, while standing at the urinal the question nearly overwhelmed me: “Am I the only dude in the world that never thinks to bring a sharpie in here?”
Who was the evil genius who invented escape-proof drive thru lanes? Was there an epidemic of people suddenly changing their minds about which fast food they wanted? Were so many people, like TB, cutting out of line and leaving when the pace of advance was unduly slow? I also wonder why the fact that all-ALL-drive thrus eschew the “o” and the “gh” gives me an unaccountable feeling of warmth on the inside.
Why do hair stylists, mechanics and dental hygienists have the power to get me feeling so worthless? I know this is not an original observation–Seinfeld did episodes on all three. It’s still a lesser question that keeps me up at night. “You don’t use hair gel or a blow dryer?!” “Your car will DIE if you don’t get this fuel injection treatment!” “Your flossing is insufficient and insulting!” In each of their faces I see the old SNL skit from during the OJ years of F. Lee Bailey sneering at the pathologist who admitted he did not, when in the shower, rinse and repeat, “You dis-gust me.”
Did Mark Twain ever feel the need to repeatedly peruse his own blog tablet, quietly chuckling to himself about a joke nobody else liked or would he have emailed written a buddy and said, “hey man…did you see that thing I wrote about authoritarianism, cliches and hypocrisy my death being exaggerated? It was funny, right? You’ll stand by me right? ‘Cause I’m not getting much reaction.
Mickey’s a mouse. Donald’s a duck. Pluto’s a dog. What the hell is Yoda.