TB’s High Wealth Spending Consulting Service Strikes Again

Quote of the Day:     The moment is long overdue for us to become moral and worthy ancestors.”     –Peter Peterson, billionaire co-founder of Blackstone Group who cashed in his chips at the high water mark of Wall Street’s heyday of excess

TB established the high wealth spending consulting service back in November, 2008. Thanks to the service, the ultra-wealthy need no longer worry about what to do with all their loot once they have obtained it. This is a good thing, because it has become evident that there is a disconnect for the wealthy between knowing how to make money and how to spend it in a fashion that is not idiotic. Are YOU super-wealthy? Not sure? If you have to ask, then yes. You are. Still not sure? If you are considering the purchase of Pontiac, Citigroup, or the next Ole Miss quarterback, you are. Contact TB at once.

I had hoped the widespread publicity of my November press release would be sufficient when combined with word of mouth from your fellow Polo Clubbers to alert you blue blooders (and/or nouveau riche) to the problem and to give you an alternative to wasting your fortunes. Unfortunately, the waste epidemic continues unabated. Case in point:

Peter Peterson was born some 83 years ago to loving, unimaginative parents. At some point he co-founded an outfit called the Blackstone Group that was involved in the world of Wall Street. He did well. In 2007, Peterson cashed out for more than a billion big ones. Well intentioned and thankful, Peterson soon determined to give away the bulk of his fortune. Newsweek Magazine got wind of this and jumped on the story, inviting Peterson to discuss his decision. It appears in the June 8, 2009 issue and is linked here. 

(Insert pinky into side of mouth and read along with me…either side….DO IT NOW) One Bil,lll,lll,lllion Dollars. Givin it away! It’s beautiful! Think of all the good he can do. Maybe a cure for childhood cancer. Maybe a new national park. Maybe installing solar panels and wind turbines on low income housing. Maybe sending a mass email out that he’s giving away his money and all you have to do to get a cut is to forward the email to ten people and say, “Really, this is not a joke. It is true. I heard it from my favorite blogger, who is a lawyer so it has to be true. Well, not really my favorite blogger. But a blogger. On the internets.”

Sadly, no. He has established the unimaginatively named Peter Peterson Foundation. What the hell is the Peter Peterson Foundation?, you ask. According to the foundation’s website, they “are dedicated to doing our best to promote responsibility and accountability today in order to ensure more opportunity for everyone tomorrow.”

<all together now–BLANK STARE>

Where do I start? With a billion dollars, the first thing the foundation decided was its purpose–to encourage fiscal responsibility for American citizens and their government. Second–they came up with a snazzy name for their web domain, no doubt inspired by the example set by Peter Peterson’s folks long ago. www.pgpf.org They are non-partisan and support no political candidates. They plan to focus their efforts on the youth, ostensibly by developing new sports like Budgetball. Budgetball. Really, they have a lot of great goals–no freakin idea how to reach them, but in the broadest terms possible, great goals. I’m not going through them, you can look if you want. But here’s an example: they want health care reform that is meaningful and affordable. Awesome. How much of that billion is left Petey?

Peterson, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Oprah and a bunch of other billionaires recently met for a summit in New York on how they should dispose of their fortunes. Here’s the thing–they are all getting too cute. They are wasting the opportunity to make a difference in the world by supporting causes instead of supporting action. This Peterson thing is just the latest to make me scratch my head and stare blankly at the computer wondering how in the hell someone this damn stupid was able to make a billion freakin dollars. One can only hope the first item on the agenda at their summit was a motion to retain TB’s High Wealth Spending Consulting Service.

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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38 Responses to TB’s High Wealth Spending Consulting Service Strikes Again

  1. Something I couldn’t work in to the essay–If I had a billion to give away, I’d go in to say 10 cities that helped me earn it. I’d spend 100M in each to buy up whole neighborhoods of dilapidated housing. The money earned by the residents would allow them to obtain decent housing elsewhere. The resulting land would be bulldozed and turned into a park in perpetuity, thereby eliminating a crime incubator, providing a green space to make the city more liveable and providing an outlet to thousands of people to get a better chance of success in life.

    Peterson….you listening? I bet there’s a lot of good ideas out there and as soon as I get a fat contract I’ll be hiring staff.

  2. Samsmama says:

    I’ve been sitting here with a blank stare and my mouth wide open for so long I just drooled on myself. Unreal.

  3. Yes, unreal.

    Stay tuned on this, there’s more to come. I just got word from my sources that a transcript is available, exclusive to TB, from the Billionaire money giving away summit and I’ll be passing it along as soon as practical.

  4. Sweet says:

    TB, who are these people in the delapidated houses that now have your cash to spend? How will you insure they spend it on a better home and not crack and meth? Are you assuming these people have the capacity to do what your saying? I think a good indicator of the success your proposal would be to follow what happens, for 5-10 years, to the brand new apartment complex that surrounds the hwy 90 overpass in Goula

  5. Worse case scenario, the city gets a new park and is shed of a slum. My expectation is the vast majority will buy a place to live that is generally crack free. They don’t all get shipped off together to start a new slum somewhere else, so hopefully the culture of desperation and poverty will be slightly alleviated. The point of the charity is not to control these people but to give them a fighting chance. I’m only a 999,999,999 bucks away from starting my foundation if you want to make a pledge.

    One thing is certain…at least money will be spent on things instead of overly broad, obvious and unoriginal policy positions like “we spend too much.”

    I wouldn’t be so hard on Pete if he were actually supporting politicians pledged to further his goals, but when I click on the site and see the first page bragging about a commission to study our national debt getting “bipartisan support”, it is obvious the money will be wasted.

    I would be curious about anyone else’s spending plan.

  6. Sweet says:

    As I have said before, and the main reason I quit debating politics, the answer to an American Renaissance is complete and total change to different sources of energy. $2 billion our country spends every day for Iraq war, wow. Just advance the human race, man.

  7. Sweet says:

    I know this isnt a political thread, I just had to get that out before I aneuryized. Really though, I would say give the dough to smi-LY to allot

  8. smilyj says:

    BIIIG Party. Naked Party!

  9. Adam says:

    I would buy lots and lots of land and then live on it. It might be a good idea to get the land next to something like Glacier National Park, on the good side.

    If it helped the environment or something all the better. But, my idea would be to make sure I had plenty of space between myself and people that annoy me.

    I would travel a lot so I would need a plane. No pilot as I like to fly airplanes and I would not be into a lot of staff.

    My home would be off the grid but the reason for this is that I would not want to have to remember to pay an electric bill. If it helped the environment, that would be nice, I guess.

    There would be no press releases and a small % of my fortune would be spent to make sure no one knew I had a fortune.

  10. We already played the spend it for yourself game Stone. This is the charity edition. Of course, they say charity starts at home, right?

    Smily, I figured you for a free naked tv network distributed to the masses. Hasn’t that always been your dream project?

  11. Fish says:

    You ever been to a Naked Party, haha??????

    I agree with part of your proposal for better housing and cleaning up areas. There is a guy from Gautier or Pascagoula (?) I met with JEdgar down in Tampa some years back who did something like this. He actually started a company called RTO, rent to own, and bought homes in bad areas of St. Pete, fixed them up and provided an opportunity for less fortunate people to RTO them. However, this wasn’t charity at all. This was about making money. He is retired I think and is probably 45 or 46 now.
    Anyway, this is another way to clean up an area and let people that want to invest or at least try to get a fresh start.

  12. irvineredd says:

    This sounds somewhat similar to what Aaron Brooks is doing up here in Virginia. I mean, it’s not charity necessarily because he is going to make money off the deal, but it’s the same premise. He’s helping to clean up parts of his hometown that are in dire need of help. It’s also a business venture that Vick missed out on because he had a bunch idiot advisors.

  13. Fish, Irv, that’s a burgeoning business area, or at least was before the bust and good for all. And Irv, I don’t think the crew around Vick would be appropriately termed “advisors.” Not sure of the current lingo, but back in the day those guys were more of a “posse.”

  14. irvineredd says:

    Actually the guy that told him not to do it was a lawyer. ESPN.com had a big article about it when he got released.

    I guess you guys just can’t be trusted.

  15. I was just making a joke about the crew he fought the dogs with….and Irv, these stereotypes….next thing you know you will be regurgitating some Limbaugh social theory

  16. irvineredd says:

    You mean like reverse racsim?

  17. jessica o says:

    I ghost blog for a bankruptcy lawyer. I’m a little behind, what with not wanting to post about bankruptcy shite. Can I just steal this post?

  18. I dream of the day when copyright issues matter to TB. Steal away.

  19. Madd Dawg says:

    “Just advance the human race, man.” –Sweet

    That’s deep Sweet, but WTF does it mean, exactly? I would speculate that there would be some disagreement on how to implement your vision.

  20. Sweet says:

    MD, I know, it’s above your head. You just keep spewing your conservative, libertarian, Gingrich, Cheney or whatever you call your views (read: none of your own) At least you got your own little political page on here. You’re a sheep with an education

  21. Wendy says:

    Is there such a thing as reverse racism? Isn’t racism just racism? Explain please? I know I am new here but…….

  22. Just a little Limbaugh humor that Irv was referencing. He termed Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotormayor a “reverse racist.” I was pickin on Irv who is (like me) not a Limbaugh fan because he made a crack about lawyers of which I am.

    Wendy, I’m glad to see you back and before you know it you’ll have all the players identified and throwin out your own inside jokes! There are a few arguments every now and then, but not many flames and most everybody has a good sense of humor–everybody except MD–he is not at all funny.

  23. TB, you need to write Mr. Peterson a letter, which some staff person will throw in the garbage without Peterson ever seeing it. But seriously, perhaps a letter to the editor. It is despicable how simple it would be for us to do some concrete, long-lasting things to improve society but we don’t.

    I say “we,” but I don’t have a pot to piss in. I mean rich people. It just hit me. One thing these rich folks could do is buy pots for poor people like me to piss in. Pissing Pots For Poor People. It has alliteration and everything. I can see the ads now. “Let’s make the world a better place. Give a poor person a pot to piss in.”

  24. jessica o says:

    TDW, say that four times, fast.

    Whenever I see the name Mr. Peterson, I think of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

  25. Madd Dawg says:

    Yea, that late 60’s-like philosophy of “Just advance the human race, man.” is WAY above my head—-thankfully. The stated purpose of the Peter Peterson Foundation is much more meaningful.

    Mr. Alternative Fuel Guy,
    Now that your ethanol has been revealed to be the worst possible fuel source ever conceived by man (thanks corn lobby), what alternative fuel source are you for this week BC? Don’t you still drive an SUV?

    TB, sorry, but he started it—see, we can all be mature here.

  26. Sweet says:

    MD, here is an example of you without right wing literature to run to
    Location-Baskin Robbins anytown USA
    Counter Chick “Welcome, can I help you to one of our 31 flavors of ice cream?”
    MD (looks around with a slightly embarrassed grin at his friends with their pralines n cream, rocky road, cherries jubilee) “Um, Vanilla”
    CC “Would you like to make that a chocolate sundae, or caramel, or strawberry. We also have nuts and whipped cream”
    MD “Um, no, just vanilla”
    CC “OK, would you like that in a waffle or sugar cone?”
    MD “Um, plain cone”
    ARBs “Dude, that tastes like cardboard! You’re in Baskin Robbins, man, at least get a waffle cone”
    MD “Vanilla in a plain cone please”
    No right wing rags, no idea
    No taste buds no imagination
    You gotta have vision dawg
    Drill baby drill

  27. Sweet says:

    Hey MD, if you go on a 60 hour bender after the Mouth concert give me a call. I’ll run with ya for awhile

  28. Jessie Lou says:

    I still would like to know where he goes while on the bender/disappearing act. So many thoughts come to mind, many of which could be used in the story that goes on forever.

  29. Zeek says:

    Material for A&E channel documentary, not a novel. Not enough imagination.

  30. Madd Dawg says:

    BC’s story is pretty much a verbatim redition of numerous incidents from our youth. Change the location to mcdonald’s and the order to a plain hamburger–nothing on it, and me standing there waiting 10-12 minutes for them to fix my “special order” while all of my ARB’s ate their lunch, and you have another story. I lived a deprived and sheltered childhood.

    No bender on Friday—-my bride was at the show with me. It was good to see TB, TB’s bride, and HT, but not so much Lucious.

    JL, you know who my favorite person to go see is late night 😉

  31. Zeek says:

    No, KW is female,automatically excludes her.

  32. Did MD just put a smily face winking emoticon on my website??????

    ^ ^

    Actually, now I’m wondering if they have a blank staring smily face?

  33. Jessie Lou says:

    MD – I too had trouble at McDonalds with a special order and no one evere wanted to wait on me either, but I was short and only 12.

    You probably like some Sweet late at night when no one is watching. But hey, I’m slow today, tired from a weekend of various activities so my brain may not be catching on. I heard the concert was quite fun. I got to watch Larry sleep on his boat the next day; he woke up before we could snap his photo unfortunately.

  34. Zeek says:

    Saved a Camera.

  35. Madd Dawg says:

    The world is better off without a permanent record of that photographic image.

  36. Jessie Lou says:

    It wasn’t bad a bad image at all. I’ve seen much, much worse.

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