Quote of the Day: “I love doubleheaders. That way I get to keep my uniform on longer.” –Tommy Lasorda
TB’s got a couple of ideas floating around the noggin for essays this week, but being that its Monday and I’m still feeling a little sluggish due to Friday’s festivities in Gulfport, I’m going with a simple sporting topic for today. Best and worst uniforms in Major League Baseball, the NFL and NCAA football, all time:
NFL-Top 5
- Dallas Cowboys (I even like the seldom worn road blues)
- Miami Dolphins, late 70’s before the modern makeover (especially the seldom worn aquas)
- Baltimore Colts (love the helmets and the sleeves)
- Minnesota Vikings (another great helmet, but they make the list only for their pre-dome era snow games)
- Oakland Raiders (they own the color black–everyone else is a pretender)
NFL-Bottom 3
- New Orleans Saints (see number 5 above)
- Cleveland Browns (aren’t they mainly orange?)
- Washington Redskins (go back to the flat yellow 70’s pants and they are a top 5 contender)
NCAA Football-Top 5
- UCLA (love that baby blue, plus they have that sleeve thing going on)
- Washington Huskies
- Georgia Bulldogs
- USC (the UCLA game with both teams wearing dark is the best visual spectacle in sports)
- Ohio State
Sorry Rebel fans, y’all dropped out when you sold out the cool ringed sleeves.
NCAA Football-Bottom 5
- Penn State
- Oregon
- South Carolina
- Louisville
- Mississippi State
Major League Baseball-Top 5
- Chicago Cubs Home
- Late 70’s Boston Red Sox with the red cap
- Los Angeles Dodgers
- St. Louis Cardinals (love the logo with the birds perched on the bat)
- The late 70’s/early 80’s Baltimore Orioles (for the pre-Ducks Unlimited style cap)
Major League Baseball-Bottom 5
- Chicago White Sox (all 69 incarnations since 1919)
- San Diego Padres (1970’s era especially)
- San Francisco Giants (see San Diego Padres)
- Milwaukee Brewers (then and now–yeah, the Mb shaped into a glove was cool, but it was still dang ugly)
- Pittsburgh Pirate (emphasis on their 1979 World Series champion team which had a different way of looking like crap every night, topped off with the worst hat in history–the painters cap with the horizontal pinstripes. It was so bad, in retrospect it seems perfection. So bad, and so memorable and so related to their greatest season, it came to mind this morning while brainstorming for a post that fit my lazy mood but seeing nothing in my email, on my text messages or online other than Ole Miss’ loss in the Super Regionals yesterday and USM’s victory. I was thinking about how ugly USM’s colors and uni’s are and it hit me. The national spotlight is on them, they will be the lovable underdog, their coach is retiring….they ought to break out a new hat for the CWS and embrace their inner ugly with a copy of the 1979 Willie Stargell-We Are Family-Pittsburgh Pirate painter’s cap.)
Stargell’s actual (according to ebay) game worn 1979 hat
Bonus Quote of the Day: “If it requires a uniform it’s a worthless endeavor.” —George Carlin
Random Willie Stargell QOTD: “It’s supposed to be fun. The man says “Play Ball” not “Work Ball”, you know?”
Travellinbaen 
TB, I disagree with alot of your choices, but I will take into consideration, as aleways, the fact that you are colorblind. Does that certain ailment affect brain function? Just curious. Here are my top and bottom three uni’s.
NFL Best
1) San Diego- Lightning Baby!!
2) New Orleans- Gotta love the Fleur de Lis dude!!
3) Green Bay and Miami- Old School
NFL Worst
1)Cowboys- everything about them repulses me
2) Vikings-Purple????
3) Panthers and Jags- just never could get on board(too modern???)
NCAA Best
1) UCLA- agree with you there TB
2) Arizona St.- Like the colors and the little devil w/ pitchfork
3) Michigan- Old school
NCAA worst
1) Oregon- My God, please change them!!!
2) Louisville- hate the all black look, just like falcons did in NFL
3) Nebraska- no imagination and I hate them
MLB Best-
1)Yankees-pinstripes get me every time
2) Old school Red Sox
3)Cubs- see #1
MLB Worst-
1) Old school Mariners- Do you remember them, wow.
2) Old school White Sox (all navy with untucked collared shirt, not the Goula style ones)
3) Padres- Brown and yellow???
I always liked Miami and could not stand Cleveland. Penn State is horrible – no imagination there, but I would be completely thrown off if they changed now.
I always wanted to go to OLV just so I could have the uniform. It is all about the skirt. But then again, we are talking sports.
Zeek the all time worst may be the Pascagoula National 1983 regular togs. Whoever dreamed up those red pants? My only guess is Monties ordered them for softball and got boys instead of girls and needed to unload them. The worst part of those red pants is that our predecessors looked so cool in the pinstripes. However, I did love those Expos style helmets.
The untucked White Sox you reference is without a doubt the worst of all time.
And JL, you looked better in red white and blue than blue and yellow I am certain.
I was thinking the same thing watching USM last night. Who decided that neon yellow can pass for the school color of gold? My guess is it started with LSU.
Dude, the Pirates have possibly my favorite uniform of all time. That cap is sweet, I may go bid on it. I guess I’m like Nelms when it comes to unis, like ’em plain. Cause I like the Browns and Penn St. also.
I’ve always been plain and I think Plain is fine just with better color choices.
I kinda like the Pirates too. MD’s choice of uni’s is automatically null and void due to uni’s he has his 12 yr. old’s travel baseball team wearing. The name of the team is the Stingrays(pretty cool) or Rays for short. So MD’s takes the easy way out and tries to emulate the TB Rays of MBL you think automatically?? No, no, no, that would have probably been the wise choice. No, MD’s first foray into having some imagination and going against the vanilla grain was a complete disaster. Here is the description of said uniform: Orange hat with white “R”. Orange under armour shirt with gray vest and orange writing. BLACK pants!!! and finally, of course, orange socks. Stay Vanilla MD, stay vanilla. Flashback to Johnny telling PonyBoy to “Stay Gold.”
The Expos-style helmets were the shiznit.
Happy to report I’m your dumbest reader. Despite the title, and the fact that you mentioned it again, I missed the fact that this was about uniforms. Therefore, could not fathom why Zeek brought up you being color blind. And why the KC Chiefs didn’t make the NFL worst list. Makes much more sense now. The end.
Random thoughts on uniforms…..TB, i dig MS State’s football uniforms…ANY, i mean ANY ballplayer looks good in that uniform…i tried for years not to like it, but to no avail…..In the 70’s when white shoes became the new fad, some football purists (fellow ole miss teammates of mine) pointed to bama’s willingness to wear them as the beginning of their downfall…..We loved the A’s in the 70’s…sal bando, vida blue, et.al…loved their uniforms and tried to emulate them on davenport field
SD Chargers
Big NCAA football game where one team unsuspectingly decides to go same color tops and bottoms that usually doesn’t.
Worst – Anything ND
Worst part two – anyone in the stand wearing hats/jerseys/etc that aren’t the team colors. Pink hats (that weren’t bought for some breast cancer awareness) red NYY hats, etc…
Q, I should’ve specified, the MSU uni’s with the MState helmet logo–hate’em. The 70’s A’s “own” the green and gold, especially the early 70’s with the white hats. So ugly they were cool. Of course, everyone loved the Astros back then too and they were horrible.
SM, can’t argue with the Chiefs–anything to do with males in red pants is not good.
Face, I am ashamed to admit I like LSU’s clown outfits, but then again, I AM color blind, so I have an excuse.
I like the Chargers white lightnin bolt helmets, but prefer the AFL style powder blue. I also dig the Lions throwback unis.
PS, no indignant Rebs? If they get back the shoulder stripes they are a college top 5 easy, sad to say. They are also the exception to the TB rule favoring silver trousers…I think they should go back to a flat color closer to gray.
This is SO not my post. But I luv ya!
Love Penn St home unis and the Longhorn helmet. And if the Dolphins ever got back to wearing the aqua jerseys, they might be worth a sh*t again
Don’t forget the orange belt Zeek. Orange/grey and black—the Rays look juts nasty in our Sunday uniforms. You know that Jakob loved the threads.
The Pirates uniforms rock. I would have to say that the Houston Astros “rainbow” colored uni’s take the cake as the worst.
Golden Buzzards to OMAHA!
Southern really ought to bust out a painter’s cap. I hope they win it all, no lie. Go Buzzards.
Dolphins aqua. Number One.
Astros Oldies. Great.
Maroon and White. Nuff said.
Jessie Lou in OLV skirt and uniform. HUBBA HUBBA!