Born to Run

Quote of the Day:

“”There’s something so universal about that sensation, the way running unites our two most primal impulses: fear and pleasure. We run when we’re scared, we run when we’re ecstatic, we run away from our problems and run around for a good time.”
— Christopher McDougall (Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen)

Back in August, TB’s doorbell rang a little after five o’clock. I craned my neck around the wall to see if I should answer or not and was rewarded with the sight of “Brown” disappearing from view. UPS must be run by a dude who’s a little like me, because they don’t waste time with pleasantries. They just drop the box, hit the bell and vamoose. That’s customer service as far as I’m concerned. But I digress.

In my little brown box that day was a book, Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall. I was perplexed. I knew I didn’t order some goofy book about running and I couldn’t figure out who might have. I spent half a minute or so trying to think of someone I could give the book to, or if not, where in the attic I could stash it. Finally I noticed the packaging insert and a brief note from “Little Boy,” reclusive but avid citizen of the TBU. “Here’s to kickin’ 40’s ass. I think you will find this book enlightening.”

Well, Little Boy had pushed all the right buttons. He knew about my middle age angst from the blog and appreciated my continuing and ever more difficult quest for enlightenment and so his note went right for the jugular. Even more though, this book represented, errr, represents, the only remuneration for my efforts ever received by TBU management. And I was reading the last book on my nightstand. So what the hell, I decided to place it next up in my queue.

This was a very good decision. Born to Run is by far the most interesting book I’ve read in at least a decade. It flows like an adventure novel, educates like a favorite and easy professor and blows apart assumptions I never even realized were not hard facts. Aside from the fact the very idea of running for pleasure is anathema to me, aside from the fact that running fifty or one hundred miles in a single day is lunacy to me, I was swept up with a new enthusiasm to change my approach entirely to physical and mental health. What if I could simplify my diet? Save money on shoes? Smile while running? It seems so possible, better yet, so natural in light of all I learned from McDougall, via Little boy.

Born to Run follows the quest of an aging American hippy expatriate who calls himself Micah True, but is known to the rural Mexicans among whom he resides as Caballo Blanco, the white horse. He lives deep in the treacherous Copper Canyons in a small hut he built. His neighbors are the Tarahumara Indians, a secluded tribe who have shunned the modern world in favor of their ancient customs, one of which is running. From childhood through old age, male and female, these people run for miles. A marathon is to them roughly equivalent to a typical American’s stroll through Walmart. It was these people, who he met by chance at one of the only two ultra marathon events the Tarahumara ever took part in, with whom Caballo Blanco sought refuge after becoming disillusioned with the course of his own life. Already an accomplished runner, he learned from the Tarahumara new techniques for running and a new approach to life in general consisting primarily of simplicity and joy.

But the hippy hadn’t completely dropped off the face of the Earth. He maintained a loose connection to the outside world and he never even tried to disassociate himself from the great American compulsion to find out who is best. So as his admiration for the Tarahumara grew, so too did his curiosity about how they would fare in a long distance race against the greatest American ultra marathoners. When he was tracked down by the author one strange day in a small country inn, he immediately realized he had found a way to sate his curiosity. He enlisted McDougall to arrange the American contingent for his race, to be held without publicity or fanfare in the depths of the Mexican canyonlands.

The coming together of the race in itself makes Born to Run worth reading. The personalities are huge–Barefoot Ted, the surfer, the knockout blonde, the unbeatable champion–and the challenges they face are engrossing. But what really makes this book great are the interludes. Between updates on the state of the race and short bios of its participants, McDougall treats the reader to a brief history of the Tarahumara and a vivid description of their homeland. Even better, he also provides a brief history of humanity, viewed through the lens of an anthropologist/biologist/athlete.

Have you, like me, always understood that in prehistoric times our human ancestors lived in caves and the men went out to hunt while the women gathered nuts and berries and tended the babies and the fire? Not so, according to evidence gathered by scientists at the University of Utah and Harvard. Actually, they hypothesized and proved that men, women and children all went out to hunt together and rather than dragging the carcass back to some camp or cave, the group simply feasted and rested where they made a kill, then moved on, constantly. (Might I say, a good name for these early people would be “Travellinmaen?”)

Oversimplifying, the early humans had no blades or spears yet and clubbing a lion was a damned hard way to kill it. But our ancestors had one major advantage over every other animal, one we still share to this day. We can outrun them. Yep, I never considered that possibility either. Cheetahs? Horses? Deer? It’s no contest. People outrun them all. If the race is long enough, that is. For biological reasons I’d rather not try to reproduce in this space, people are designed to run longest. (Basically because we release heat best). So our early ancestors ran. They ran those deer until their hooves fell off and they died. It’s called persistence hunting and there are actually a few people left in the modern world who still do it. And now can I blow your mind? Guess how far a group must run, in general, to run an animal to its death. Twenty-six miles. I finally understand why all those crazy folks line up in Boston and New York and everywhere else to run through the streets for several hours. It’s in their genes.

There is so much more to enjoy about this book. Violent drug lords make an appearance. Nike plays a prominent, villainous role. Money grubbers and coaches and junior college instructors are featured. But most of all, if you read this book I think you will find it is about you. You were born to run. And if I can find me a nice chunk of soft grass around these parts, I aim to kick off my shoes and give it a try, without counting off the tenths. Just to see if I can do it and smile like I did when I was eight.

Posted in Books, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Thursday Pickin’ Season III, Week 6

Quote of the Week:

there is no cryin’ in Thursday Pickin.”     —Jessie Lou McFaul

Time is short today, so I’ll make the preamble brief. I can hear the hearts breaking all throughout the interwebs.

It’s even-steven week. TB lost the POTW last week and I fall to 3-2. I went 2-2-1 on bonus picks moving my record to 10-12-3 on the year. The TBU was, 11-11, and 28-27 in bonus selections. Overall, the TBU is at 56-54 on POTW’s, a virtual tie. The top 11 below won their POTW’s, bonus picks in parentheses. Props to Fish for an excellent Dog o’the week call in Washington over USC. Coach TJ busted the curve this week going undefeated and thus depriving the “all-ins” from getting bonus points. He also nailed a DOTW, picking Colorado over Georgia. Fig gets list points for getting everyone giddy over the Crue and Smily got SOTW. But while I am duty bound to award the points, I must say I have some disrespect over the clear pandering those selections represented.

And finally, if one of you gents doesn’t get with the program, Tiny D is going to embarrass us all.

Last week’s results:

  1. Coach TeaJay  (4-0)  74
  2. Tiny D (3-1)  62
  3. Fig E  (3-2, plus bonus)  61
  4. Fish  (3-2)  56
  5. Smily  (all in plus bonus)  55
  6. Pitalo  (2-2-1)  50
  7. Sweet  50
  8. Zeek  50
  9. MD  50
  10. Mac  50
  11. RSR  50
  12. BW Buzz  (3-2)  32
  13. BR  (1-0)  26
  14. Feidt’s Follies  (1-0)  26
  15. TB  (2-2-1)  20
  16. JLou  (2-3)  14
  17. Irv  (1-2)  14
  18. Flyin’ J  (1-2)  14
  19. TKH  10
  20. Larry  10
  21. Face  (1-4)  2
  22. TDW  (0-5)  1

Season Standings:

  1. Tiny D  285
  2. Fish  226
  3. BR  218
  4. TDW  214
  5. Face  198
  6. Flyin’ J 191
  7. Pitalo  185
  8. Smily  185
  9. MD  181
  10. CTJ  179
  11. TB  179
  12. Larry  170
  13. Fig  168
  14. BW Buzz 160
  15. RSR  158
  16. Mac  153
  17. JLou  153
  18. Sweet  148
  19. Zeek  147
  20. TKH  134
  21. FF  112
  22. Irv  98

Here are my picks for this week and here’s your link to the odds:

  • Alabama  -6′
  • LSU  +6  (dog o’the week)
  • Arkansas  -5′
  • Auburn  -6
  • Colorado  +12′

POTW  Tennessee  +11′

My Tunes:

  • Back in the Saddle–Aerosmith (Steven Tyler)
  • Rockin’ me Baby–Steve Miller Band
  • Girlfriend in a Coma–The Smiths (Steven Morrissey)
  • Glory Days–Bruce Springsteen (featuring Little Steven on vocals and guitar)
  • Foggy Mountain Breakdown–Steve Martin, Earl Scruggs and others
  • SOTW–The Devil’s Right Hand–Steve Earle

And I can’t let a tribute to Steve(n)’s go by without saluting the king of the blank stare humorists, Steven Wright:

Posted in Music, Sports | Tagged | 42 Comments

The Only Thing We Have to Fear

Quote of the Day:

Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts…perhaps the fear of a loss of power.”     John Steinbeck

TB read this article yesterday and I found it enlightening. It caught my eye because it referenced Stephen Colbert’s Rally to Keep Fear Alive, but it kept my attention because it presented a fascinating viewpoint on collective irrational fear as a remnant of our ancient past, a feature of our evolution, even a strength advantaging us in the battle for survival.

The author, Dr. Rick Hanson, seized on Colbert’s ironic rallying cry and used it to make a greater point. He says that early man had two choices when it came to fear: (1) hear a rustling in the bushes and not worry about it or (2) hear a rustling in the bushes and run for cover. Well, it only takes one tiger in the bushes to naturally select which early man’s genes would bear the most fruit–the fearful one. Interesting, even if you take the postulate no further. But really interesting if you think about what it means to each of us personally and as a whole.

On a personal level, it is a reminder that most of us are a little too focused on the negative. I’ll admit to being accused of that more than once over the years; the funny thing is virtually all of my accusers have been oblivious that I see them the same way. Turns out we’re just survivors. But it also highlights the importance of working on our own positivity because we are hard-wired to ease into the luxurious negative via the highway of fear, be it economic, interpersonal, physical or other–something I realized many years back, and something I have success with. Off and on.

As a group, particularly as Americans, this article has particular relevance right now. We are a scared-shitless nation. Justifiably so in many ways. The economy has been teetering on the edge of collapse for years. Our home values have crashed. Our jobs are insecure. The (insert party opposite your preference here, or both if you are so inclined) are driving us over the cliff. Osama wants to blow up our cities. BP wants to poison our oceans. The truth is, there is a lot to fear and to act upon.

But here’s the trick. We must learn to discern what is rightly feared, thus combated or run from, and what should be ignored as just a harmless breeze rustling in the bush. Much of what we fear is pure unmitigated bullshit. Death panels? Please. Eliminating social security? Will never happen. An incoming missile from Iran or Venezuela or Libya or Grenada or Vietnam or whoever the enemy of the day happens to be? Not bloody likely. It is of these and a thousand other groundless fears driven into us mercilessly by right, left, right again, and the media that make life a lot harder than it ought to be.

The article immediately brought to mind one of Franklin Roosevelt’s most famous lines: “the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” I decided to look up the speech in which the great line was uttered.  I’ve always associated it with the need for courage in the face of foreign enemies. Not so. Roosevelt was hip to what Dr. Hanson writes about way back in 1933, at his inauguration in the midst of the Great Depression. Read it yourself. 

Here’s the whole “fear itself” quote:

This is pre-eminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great nation will endure, as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

“Nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror.” Damn, some things never change. Setting aside what you believe about how Roosevelt dealt with the Depression and the accompanying national fear, it is amazing how perfectly he put his finger on the root problem facing the country. Fear. The whole speech is about overcoming fear, and the money line is still known to all of us almost eighty years later. It is a shame we have no leader in place nor any leader on the horizon willing and/or able to acknowledge and confront our deep-seated and rapidly growing national paranoia the way Roosevelt did. And that my friends, is the one thing to fear.

Posted in current events, Life, Philosobaen | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Thursday Pickin’ Season III Week 5

Quote of the Week:

That was about a piss poor performance on my part last week.” –Coach TeaJay

It was the first football weekend of autumn last week and boy did the TBU celebrate the occasion with a big fall. It was u-g-l-y you-ain’t-got-no-alibi-ugly. Only seven POTW winners were called against thirteen losers, with one retirement hiatus and one signmaker resulting in an undermanned squad taking the field. Lowlights include JLou’s unheard of 0-5, with a loser POTW, mirrored against Face’s 5-0, but still losing POTW. Tiny D managed to pick a POTW but then went 0-3 on her bonus selections. And TB lost my POTW and staggered to a fortunate 2-3 on the bonuses. For the record, I’m now 3-1 on the season on POTW’s and 8-10-2 on bonus picks. But State beat Georgia so Jimmy Crack Corn and I Don’t Care! Oh, back to the picks. The TBU went an embarrassing 21-32 on bonus selections.

Congrats to Fish for picking a nice, but unscored Wayne Root two-team teaser of the week, to TDW for one of his best ever weeks (including an outright dog’o the week) and to Zeek (song of the week) and RSR (list) for picking up the music bonus.

Nothing to do but get back up, dust off our britches and get back to pickin’. And thanks to my Bullies for getting me a big “helmet” win, I’ll be a’grinnin’ too this week.

First the standings for last week, remember the top 7 won their POTW and by rule no non-POTW winner can pass them. Bonus picks only in parentheses.

  1. RSR (all in plus make-up points to stay even with TDW plus music points)  73
  2. TDW  (4-1)  68
  3. Larry  68
  4. Sweet  68
  5. Pitalo  (1-4, but makeup points to stay ahead of biggest loser, Face)  51
  6. Smily  (1-2)  51
  7. TD  (0-3)  51
  8. Face  (5-0)  50
  9. Fish  (3-2)  26
  10. TB  (2-3)  14
  11. Flyin’ J (2-3)  14
  12. TKH  10
  13. Mac  10
  14. MD  10
  15. CTJ  10
  16. Zeek  10
  17. Fig E (2-4)  8
  18. BW Buzz  (1-3)  8
  19. BR  (0-2)  6
  20. JLou  (0-5)  1 (makeup point to stay ahead of the mia)
  21. Feidt’s Follies  (on temporary retirement last weekend)
  22. Irv  (making signs for the Keep Fear Alive rally in DC)
  23. S&M  (just cuz)

Season Standings:

  1. Tiny D  223
  2. Daily Wit  213
  3. Face  196
  4. BR  192
  5. Flyin’ J  177
  6. Fish  170
  7. Larry  160
  8. TB  159
  9. JLou  139
  10. Pitalo  135
  11. SmilyJ  135
  12. MD  131
  13. BW Buzz  128
  14. TKH  124
  15. Fig E  112
  16. RockStarRambler  108
  17. Coach TJ  105
  18. Mac  103
  19. Sweet  98
  20. Zeek  97
  21. Feidt’s Follies  86
  22. Irv  84
  23. S&M  rockchalkjayhawk

My Picks for this Week (here’s your link to the odds):

  • Oklahoma State  -3
  • Ole Miss  -3
  • Tennessee  +16
  • Vandy  +7′
  • Florida  +8

My POTW is Georgia  -4′

My outright Dog O’the week is Vandy over UConn

My Tunes for the weekend, a tribute to the season, and how we performed on it’s first weekend:

  • Fall on Me — REM
  • Falling–Roy Orbison
  • Harvest Moon–Neil Young
  • The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead–XTC
  • Rain on the Scarecrow–John Mellencamp

SOTW–Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground–White Stripes

as Jack says, “enough fooling around”

and then, back to foolin’ around, a bonus SOTW

Leadbelly

One final thing….a poll question

Posted in Music, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

TB’s TP Write-In Campaign

Quote of the Day:

I dabbled in witchcraft. I never joined a coven.” –Christine O’Donnell (TP)

Behold Christine O’Donnell. The best thing that ever happened to Ron Paul and Sharon Angle. The Palinest of them all. A mirror of America. The best candidate Koch Industries could buy. I mean….buy? Hell I only read one out of every ten articles on this chick I come across, yet I can’t even comprehend the possibility that I might be missing something. I sincerely, honestly hope she goes to the Senate. For if she does, I will go to an all-O’Donnell-all-the-time format. She’s that good. Best I’ve ever seen.

Today’s article was about her penchant for puffing. No, not that kind of puffing, though it can’t be long before that revelation comes out. Hmmm, why did I choose the phrase “come out?” But never mind that. We were talking about puffery, or what was known back in ‘Goula as makin’ shit up on your resume. Years of claiming a degree from Fairleigh Dickinson? Hey, she got one this year, so maybe that part was just anticipatory. But “attended Oxford University” has now become “took a class sponsored by Phoenix College”–you know–the beauty school/typing school/data entry college. They rented a room at Oxford U and as far as we can currently tell, CO was there. Claremont Graduate School has become “a fellowship at Claremont” a conservative think tank where she sat in on a three hour seminar I suppose.

Here’s the thing, anybody that can send Karl Rove over the edge can’t be all bad. And you can’t argue with her success. Maybe she’s on to something with this puffery. And hey, come to think of it, like O’Donnell I was more or less chaste for extended segments of my wasted youth, not for lack of trying of course, but that’s beside the point. And I’ve been out with a few witches too, usually during the non-chaste periods (God luv’em). So, yeah, TB can do it. Consider this epistle TB’s write-in campaign for…well….pretty much anything. Not sure who you want to vote for this November, but still wanna throw the bums out? Vote TB, TP candidate for, um, office, and stuff.

Credentials you ask? I’m glad you asked. I’ll even go ahead and break the embarrassing details before some blogger tries to frame the details in a way that might not suit. Just ignore that part.

My foreign policy experience is vastly huge. I have traveled extrinsically. I once took a trip from Athens (TX) to Paris (TX) to Palestine (TX). I’ve been to Egypt and Lebanon (MS). Growing up I could see BP from my back porch (really more of a patio and I could only see it in my imagination, which I never actually probably did).

My edumacational background? I attended college at one of the finest veterinary schools in these U S of A’s. (Majored in history). Grad school at Oxford. (That school up north.) Post-graduate degree obtained at Texas in a chemistry-related field. (Budweiser school for 30 minutes at the State Fair). I been told I’m prolly not half as dumb as most people think. (Thanks RSR.)

I am very devoutly spiritualistically divine. I believe that God created baseball and I stupendously reject any bombastic spasmadic teachings that the game so-called “evolved”. (“In the big inning, God created the heavens and the Earth.” Genesis 1:1.)

Afraid once I get to DC I’ll just join that inside the beltway mentalist and get bought off by the lobbyests? Well, I pledge here and now to never accept one single solidarity dime of their money (but if Gaddafi will pay a million, it’s ayatollah rock-in-rollah in the mullah).

Worried about how our children will pay for our future debts? I promise to cut the deficit. (I didn’t say that right at all did I? Oh well, the people know what I meant.) We will reduce Warshington tax and spending oncet and for all. (I’m not really that good with numbers, there I said it).

Think the stimulus, TARP, Health Care Bill, Civil Rights Act, 1st through 14th mementos, and Arbor Day are bad ideas? I promise to never vote for any of them. (I’ll be hungover that day anywhoo.) Oh, I just heard the second memento is about guns. Well I’ll never vote for that either I’ll maybe just have a memento that you can pry my AK47 from my cold dead hams, that’s so not fortification.

And last but not leaves, we have the issue of vacation…err…ignition…err….immolation…dang that was close…um…you know, that thing where the Iranians come up from Costco to roof our houses. I’m against that and I will support a national statue ordering David Copperhead to make them all disappear. On TV. (After they finish up at my house and that bitch gets back to the table with my case of dias and a cervixa.)

So waddayasay. Write in TB (TP) for something. Something that pays well. My student loans from Oxford need to get paid.

Thank you for your attentions.

Posted in current events, Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

TB, Hat Fashion, and Middle Age Angst

Quote of the Day:

“…excuse yourself from obsessing on the state of the economy, the meaning of life and the clash between science and religion…” TB’s Leo Free Will Astrology excerpt

The local rag here in Jackson, MS, runs a feature each week they call “Free Will Astrology.” TB doesn’t really go for the usual star readings, but Free Will always has some good nuggets, often timely philosophical thoughts, and an uncanny frequency of pertinence. The above quote from my horoscope this week was all of that, and set me to thinkin’, dammit.

I’ve got an unhealthy need to be a white hat. You know, a white hat, like the old western heroes of the Gene Autry era. Except, I prefer black. It looks better for one thing, but for another, it seems to me like all the white hats these days are charlatans and hypocrites. So if the worst of all bad guys have co-opted what was good, then I’ve no choice but to go opposite them, and all the better that I get to look better at the same time.

You know, it’s hard to go through life unable to yell for the bad guy in rasslin’. It’s hard being the one who can’t appreciate Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men” or Heath Ledger’s Joker. Man, I hate the characters they play so much I can’t bring myself to applaud the performances that made me loathe them so. I’d never dress at Halloween as Darth Vader and I miss out on half the video game content on some of my favorite games because I can’t bring myself to play the alternate “bad guy” version. I don’t even like to invade foreign countries without provocation in “Risk” for cryin’ out loud!

It’s this personality defect that in large part led me to the career I pursue and informs my particular worldview. I see unfairness all about me. In business, in sports, in my profession, all too often I see some poseur in a white hat doing evil, and all too often being applauded for it. Sometimes I am able to fight back. Mostly I can only clench my teeth, narrow my eyes and despise it. And wrestle within over my ability and willingness to take up a defensive position for the wronged side. This is the worst part of it.

It’s no way to live, I tell you. Team sports taught me long, long ago that while you must always act for the greater good, you can only control your own performance, and must rely on your teammates to carry their own weight. If they do, we win. If they don’t, I walk off with my head high. My Free Will Astrology horoscope this week was a welcome reminder, I need not wear any hat at all every day, just let my hair blow freely in the breeze.

Posted in Life, Philosobaen | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thursday Pickin’ Season III, Week 4

Quote of the Day:

I am getting more addicted by the week!” –Tiny D

The last two weeks have been tough on TB, the fan. It looks like, once again, next year is not here quite yet for my beloved Dogs and the football jalopy that is their program. Same ol’ State. We play Georgia this weekend. We last beat Georgia in 1974. They always kill us. In fact in my first game to attend as student at State, in the immortal year of our Lord, Tech and 10, we had a heroic drive finish with under two minutes to go to tie mighty Georgia at 35, and there was no overtime back then and a tie was good with me and probably every other State fan there that night. But Georgia got the ball on their twenty and drove down the field with under a minute to play to score a touchdown and win. They ran the ball on every play. I’ve never seen a two minute drill run like that before or since. Still, I hope. In my heart. I even feel it in my bones. We can win this weekend. In my mind, Same ol’ State.

So thank goodness for Thursday Pickin’. For in TP, TB has been a winner surrounded by winners. The TBU went an impressive 14-8 last week in the all important POTW category to run our season tally to 38-30. In bonus picks we went a respectable 26-22-3. TB won my POTW to go 3-0 on the young season in that category and 2-2-1 on bonus picks leaving my record there at 6-7-2. In his first ever submission for song of the week MD came away with the points while TD once again took home the points for list. BR became the first citizen to nail an outright Dog o’the Week with his Arkansas pick and gets kudos. Smily and Pitalo also called an outright Dog, so congrats to them too.

Last week’s standings (remember the top 14 won their POTW, only bonus picks in parentheses)

  1. SmilyJ  (3-1)  62
  2. JLou  (3-1)  62
  3. Fig  (4-2-1)  62
  4. Face (all in plus bonus to stay with bonus pickers)  62
  5. Fish  62
  6. BR  62
  7. Feidt’s Follies  62
  8. TD  (2-1-1, plus bonus)  61
  9. Flyin’ J (3-2)  56
  10. TKH  (1-1)  50
  11. TB  (2-2-1)  50
  12. TDW  (2-2)  50
  13. BW Buzz (2-2)  50
  14. Irv  (1-3)  38
  15. Pitalo (3-2) 26
  16. MD  (all in plus bonus)  15
  17. Larry  10
  18. Zeek  10
  19. Mac  10
  20. RSR  10
  21. Sweet  10
  22. Coach TJ  (0-3)  2

Season Standings:

  1. BR  186
  2. TD  172
  3. FJ  163
  4. Face  146
  5. TDW  145
  6. TB  145
  7. Fish  144
  8. JLou  138
  9. MD  121
  10. BW Buzz  120
  11. TKH  114
  12. Fig  104
  13. CTJ  95
  14. Mac  93
  15. Larry  92
  16. Zeek  87
  17. FF 86
  18. Pitalo  84
  19. Irv  84
  20. SmilyJ  84
  21. RSR  35
  22. Sweet  30

Here are my picks FOR week FOUR (and here’s your link to the odds):

  • Penn State  -14
  • So Miss  -4
  • Tulane  +19′
  • Tennessee  -13′
  • NC State  +8′

POTW–Alabama  -7

My outright Dog o’the week is South Carolina to beat Auburn straight up and down, on the plains.

My Tunes:

  • Same ol’ Situation–Crue
  • The Song Remains the Same–Led Zeppelin
  • Still the Same–Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
  • Once in a Lifetime–Talking Heads (“same as it ever was…same as it ever was”)
  • Same Old Song and Dance–Aerosmith (pre-SOTW)

And the official SOTW, down a few notches, Can’t Let Go–Lucinda Williams

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The Recession is Dead! (Long Live the Depression)

Quote of the Day:

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” –W.C. Fields

It was all over the tube, the interwebs and of course the great postmodern bulletin board that is Facebook, the recession is over. Dead. Really dead. Like, it died a whole year ago. Happy days are here again! And they have been for quite awhile. In case you missed it.

Well, ol’ TB ain’t one to miss a celebration and seein’ as how the news of the death of the recession still smells so fresh, especially considerin’ how long it’s been in the ground, I figured we ought to throw a little TBU party. Because we’re in the money, right? Let the good times roll, and stuff.

My party should reflect the greatness that is the death of the great recession. So what to do? Rent out a ballroom and fly in all the TBU citizens for a bacchanal? Hmmm, my checkbook says……”no.” How about trading up for a new McMansion? Ummmm, my banker won’t answer the phone.  A pizza party by myself at Cici’s? Errrrrr, still too much. A list. Yes, that’s a suitably ratio’d response to the good news. A list. A funny list. Ok, a list I find funny.

Here are all the things we should celebrate with equal fervor to the death of the recession and the return of American prosperity:

  • The 2009 Indianapolis Colts near perfect season, ending with a Super Bowl defeat to the Saints
  • The end of the war in Iraq
  • The return of Wall Street profits and bonuses
  • Ramen noodles
  • The Bay City Rollers are planning a comeback tour
  • I haven’t stuck a fork in my eye all year
  • Joaquin Phoenix was faking it
  • Jersey Shore got renewed
  • Conan’s back. Or Jay never left. Or Letterman bombed. Hell I don’t know, I watch Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. But the trials and tribulations of those other dudes is worth celebrating as much as the death of the recession for sure.
  • Obama’s brand of change AND Boehner’s impending ascension coupled with an oath to take us back to the governance of the Bush years–this combo should ensure we keep things going as great moving forward as they are right now.

All together now, STARE

Feels good, don’t it?

Posted in Blank Stares, Humor, Lists | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Team Jon vs Team Colbert

Quote of the Day:

Never forget–Reason is just one letter away from treason.” –Stephen Colbert

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert both made their hugely anticipated announcements last night of planned rallies which will be held in Washington D.C. on October 30, 2010. Stewart will headline a “Million Moderates March.” He’s calling it the Rally to Restore Sanity.” Not to be outdone, Colbert will counter with his own rally at the same time and space he’s calling the “March to Keep Fear Alive.” TB sees these upcoming marches as a pivotal moment for the course of American…..well, no I don’t. But I feel compelled to choose a side.

On the one hand, I am drawn to the calm rationality urged by Stewart. He showed off signs that will be held by his peeps last night, with catchy slogans such as, “I disagree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not Hitler.” I’m thinkin’ the Stewart side of the mall will probably be kid-friendly, maybe they’ll have a cotton candy stand, and everybody will sort of make small talk, and get distracted by the occasional……oh excuse me, I lost my train of thought. I found a little rubber ball on my desk. It’s so bouncy!

Or, I could hang with Colbert, a fellow southerner, a true minuteman patriot heroic zealot, the founder of truthinessism. Says Colbert, he says, “Now is the time for all good men to freak out for freedom.” There will undoubtedly be lots of patriotic beer on hand, probably licensed for exclusive sales rights to a genuine patriotic red-white-and-blue American brand like Budweiser. (blank stare) He’ll probably shout screeds from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial that infuriate me, like…..oh, excuse me, this &%#*’n ball won’t bounce worth a $#*! all of a sudden! I hate this ball! Balls like this are what’s wrong with this country!

Stewart will probably have that black guy and that Muslim guy and that Brit who are pretty funny with him, plus Samantha Bee who I am strangely attracted to. But then, Colbert will be sure to have a bear-free atmosphere. Stewart will probably line up some great guests who will have interesting, nuanced points of view, but on the other hand, Colbert will only need us to pay attention to a simple “the word” and that sounds much easier. Stewart’s jokes are far more consistently funny, but Colbert’s best jokes are much funnier. If I’m Team Jon he’ll probably not be bent out of shape if I leave the rally for a bit to go check out what’s up with Colbert’s gang, but if I’m Team Colbert there’s a good chance I’ll get to see Republican Senate nominee from Delaware Christine O’Donnell. And I don’t think I can miss that opportunity.

So Team Colbert it is! USA!USA!  All you Team Jon weenies can stick it right up your……hey, another bouncy ball…..damn you bouncy ball, get back here…..what’s this?…..Made in China???……don’t you stare blankly at me……I’ll show you what for bouncy ball……see that wall?…….Ouch!

Bonus Quote of the Day:

“American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains. So they’re already into this experiment. TBag/GOP Senate Nominee from Delaware, Christine O’Donnell, November 15, 2007, The Bill O’Reilly Show

Team Jon click here

Team Colbert click here

Posted in Blank Stares, current events, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Thursday Pickin’ Season III, Week 3

Quote of the Week:

This is great!”     —Flyin’ J

TB warned you degenerate gamblers who follow the site that past results are not indicators of future performance. The TBU is off to a staggeringly mediocre start, though we are collectively, still above .500. POTW’s last week went 12-11 for the second week in a row and bonus picks came in at 27-30. I won my POTW for the second week in a row, but struggled to a 2-3 mark on bonus picks. Though scores were unaffected, I was disappointed that nobody picked an outright ‘dog of the week correctly. Mostly I was disappointed that I didn’t. Coach TJ picked up SOTW and Tiny D got the list points for tunage, by the way.

On with the show…

Last week’s results (remember, only bonus picks shown in parentheses, the top 12 won their POTW:

  1. Tiny D (3-1 plus music bonus)  67
  2. BR (plus makeup points to TD’s bonus picks)  62
  3. Larry  62
  4. MD  62
  5. Sam’smama  62
  6. JLou  (3-2)  56
  7. TKH  (1-1)  50
  8. Flyin’ J (2-3, plus makeup points to stay ahead of biggest loser, BW Buzz)  45
  9. TDW  (2-3)  45
  10. TB  (2-3)  45
  11. Face (1-2)  45
  12. Mac  (0-3)  45
  13. BW Buzz (4-0)  44
  14. Coach TJ  (3-1, plus music bonus)  37
  15. Fish  (3-2)  26
  16. Pitalo (2-3)  14
  17. Fig  10
  18. Sweet  10
  19. RSR  10
  20. Feidt’s Follies  10
  21. Zeek  10
  22. Smiley (1-3)  8
  23. Irv  (0-3)  2

Season Standings

  1. BR–124
  2. TD–111
  3. FJ–107
  4. MD–106
  5. TDW–95
  6. TB–95
  7. CTJ–93
  8. Face–84
  9. Mac–83
  10. Larry–82
  11. Fish–82
  12. Zeek–77
  13. JLou–76
  14. SM (perma Kansas pick)  72
  15. BW Buzz–70
  16. TKH–64
  17. Pitalo–58
  18. Irv–46
  19. Fig–42 (I can understand how all those crazy State fans led you astray)
  20. RSR–25
  21. FF–24
  22. Smily–22
  23. Sweet–20

Here are my picks for this week and here’s your link to the odds:

  • Cal  -3
  • Houston  -3
  • Florida  -14
  • Clemson  +7′
  • Notre Dame  +3′ (outright ‘dog o’the week)

POTW:  Alabama  -24

Because everybody had so much musical fun at my expense last week, a little passive aggressive revenge (with nuthin’ but love)….

  • Back Biters and Syndicators–John Lee Hooker
  • Everything About You–Ugly Kid Joe
  • Screw You (We’re from Texas)–Ray Wylie Hubbard
  • Kiss My Ass–Country Joe McDonald

SOTW–I Don’t Like Half the Folks I Love–Paul Thorn

Posted in Music, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 54 Comments