TB, Hat Fashion, and Middle Age Angst

Quote of the Day:

“…excuse yourself from obsessing on the state of the economy, the meaning of life and the clash between science and religion…” TB’s Leo Free Will Astrology excerpt

The local rag here in Jackson, MS, runs a feature each week they call “Free Will Astrology.” TB doesn’t really go for the usual star readings, but Free Will always has some good nuggets, often timely philosophical thoughts, and an uncanny frequency of pertinence. The above quote from my horoscope this week was all of that, and set me to thinkin’, dammit.

I’ve got an unhealthy need to be a white hat. You know, a white hat, like the old western heroes of the Gene Autry era. Except, I prefer black. It looks better for one thing, but for another, it seems to me like all the white hats these days are charlatans and hypocrites. So if the worst of all bad guys have co-opted what was good, then I’ve no choice but to go opposite them, and all the better that I get to look better at the same time.

You know, it’s hard to go through life unable to yell for the bad guy in rasslin’. It’s hard being the one who can’t appreciate Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men” or Heath Ledger’s Joker. Man, I hate the characters they play so much I can’t bring myself to applaud the performances that made me loathe them so. I’d never dress at Halloween as Darth Vader and I miss out on half the video game content on some of my favorite games because I can’t bring myself to play the alternate “bad guy” version. I don’t even like to invade foreign countries without provocation in “Risk” for cryin’ out loud!

It’s this personality defect that in large part led me to the career I pursue and informs my particular worldview. I see unfairness all about me. In business, in sports, in my profession, all too often I see some poseur in a white hat doing evil, and all too often being applauded for it. Sometimes I am able to fight back. Mostly I can only clench my teeth, narrow my eyes and despise it. And wrestle within over my ability and willingness to take up a defensive position for the wronged side. This is the worst part of it.

It’s no way to live, I tell you. Team sports taught me long, long ago that while you must always act for the greater good, you can only control your own performance, and must rely on your teammates to carry their own weight. If they do, we win. If they don’t, I walk off with my head high. My Free Will Astrology horoscope this week was a welcome reminder, I need not wear any hat at all every day, just let my hair blow freely in the breeze.

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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2 Responses to TB, Hat Fashion, and Middle Age Angst

  1. Jessie Lou says:

    All I can say is I feel your pain. Unfairness is absolutely everywhere you turn. It is in the office where no one follows the basic rules to just being on my front porch where the neighbors allow their dog to bark his fool head off never giving any thought to how much it bugs the neighbors – inconsiderate! And then the worst of all are the spouses I see with the wrong partners trolling the neighborhood. I could start a PI firm once this gig closes down and I would never have to leave the house. Not that I condone this behavior obviously; however, it is apparent that being discreet is a lost art.

  2. tinyd says:

    Oh, to excuse myself and let my hair blow freely in the breeze… maybe it is because of my position (or possibly OCD), I tend to re/over analyze the situation to shreds trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Those of us who work in public school systems (for the right reasons, not just summers off) are accustomed to the “responsibility” so often being shifted to us, that sometimes it feels like we are playing a solo sport – certainly not a member of a team. (ex. Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about how it is the schools’ fault that our children are so obese.) Unfortunately, children often too young to even be players bear the brunt of the penalty. (oops – I almost tripped stepping down from my soap box) I find though, that my hat tends to be an ever-changing shade of gray depending on the perspective from which I am viewed. (whether I choose to wear it or not) Thank you TB, you’ve inspired me to try for just one day to ONLY worry about my contribution…it’s not even lunch yet – gonna be a long one.

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