Team Jon vs Team Colbert

Quote of the Day:

Never forget–Reason is just one letter away from treason.” –Stephen Colbert

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert both made their hugely anticipated announcements last night of planned rallies which will be held in Washington D.C. on October 30, 2010. Stewart will headline a “Million Moderates March.” He’s calling it the Rally to Restore Sanity.” Not to be outdone, Colbert will counter with his own rally at the same time and space he’s calling the “March to Keep Fear Alive.” TB sees these upcoming marches as a pivotal moment for the course of American…..well, no I don’t. But I feel compelled to choose a side.

On the one hand, I am drawn to the calm rationality urged by Stewart. He showed off signs that will be held by his peeps last night, with catchy slogans such as, “I disagree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not Hitler.” I’m thinkin’ the Stewart side of the mall will probably be kid-friendly, maybe they’ll have a cotton candy stand, and everybody will sort of make small talk, and get distracted by the occasional……oh excuse me, I lost my train of thought. I found a little rubber ball on my desk. It’s so bouncy!

Or, I could hang with Colbert, a fellow southerner, a true minuteman patriot heroic zealot, the founder of truthinessism. Says Colbert, he says, “Now is the time for all good men to freak out for freedom.” There will undoubtedly be lots of patriotic beer on hand, probably licensed for exclusive sales rights to a genuine patriotic red-white-and-blue American brand like Budweiser. (blank stare) He’ll probably shout screeds from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial that infuriate me, like…..oh, excuse me, this &%#*’n ball won’t bounce worth a $#*! all of a sudden! I hate this ball! Balls like this are what’s wrong with this country!

Stewart will probably have that black guy and that Muslim guy and that Brit who are pretty funny with him, plus Samantha Bee who I am strangely attracted to. But then, Colbert will be sure to have a bear-free atmosphere. Stewart will probably line up some great guests who will have interesting, nuanced points of view, but on the other hand, Colbert will only need us to pay attention to a simple “the word” and that sounds much easier. Stewart’s jokes are far more consistently funny, but Colbert’s best jokes are much funnier. If I’m Team Jon he’ll probably not be bent out of shape if I leave the rally for a bit to go check out what’s up with Colbert’s gang, but if I’m Team Colbert there’s a good chance I’ll get to see Republican Senate nominee from Delaware Christine O’Donnell. And I don’t think I can miss that opportunity.

So Team Colbert it is! USA!USA!  All you Team Jon weenies can stick it right up your……hey, another bouncy ball…..damn you bouncy ball, get back here…..what’s this?…..Made in China???……don’t you stare blankly at me……I’ll show you what for bouncy ball……see that wall?…….Ouch!

Bonus Quote of the Day:

“American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains. So they’re already into this experiment. TBag/GOP Senate Nominee from Delaware, Christine O’Donnell, November 15, 2007, The Bill O’Reilly Show

Team Jon click here

Team Colbert click here

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About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
This entry was posted in Blank Stares, current events, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Team Jon vs Team Colbert

  1. Madd Dawg says:

    I’m 100% presently committed to the rally with the best quality beer, that is, until taste no longer matters at which time I will instantly become 100% committed to the rally with the cheapest beer.

  2. Hmmmm, another reason to choose Team Colbert. Col…..bert (Colbert rhymes with oh pear for those of you who are uninitiated.)

  3. Bobby Pitalo says:

    What is funny to me about Colbert is his middle name is Tyrone. He just doesnt look like a Tyrone to me.

  4. Is his middle name really Tyrone? That is funny.

    Hey, if y’all watch these shows, declare your allegiance. I wanna know who’s on which side. I’m putting Zeek down for “keep fear alive.”

    Also, on his Twitter feed, Jon Stewart was soliciting ideas for signs for the “sanity” rally, and there were some funny suggestions. Anybody got some ideas for both Team Jon and/or Team Colbert? Something to think about while watching football this weekend.

  5. RockStarRambler says:

    Team Jon

  6. Madd Dawg says:

    Is Congress really surprised that Colbert made a mockery of his hearing on migrant workers today? Bunch of jacka$$es.

  7. Especially considering he played a news clip on his show last night “revealing” that he would be testifying in character. It WAS dang funny though, at least the clip I saw. I think Congress needs more of this. Bunch of jackasses.

  8. Jessie Lou says:

    I want to be on the team of the person that gets to pull that off – I’ll take Colbert!

  9. Alejandra says:

    Drove past a high school en route to work, saw a line of young atdlus shivering in the chill morning air as they held up signs for the Democratic candidates and reminders to GO VOTE.In my city’s public school district, Obama and Bob Kerrey won the student poll for President and U.S. Senator. Obama also won the straw poll in my niece’s school district. Our states are both deep, deep red on Nate Silver’s map.My poor niece turns 18 next February. She is really upset that she’s missing this election. O could use every single vote today, and I know he’d have hers. For her sake as much as anyone’s, I sure hope we pull this off.

  10. Abeer says:

    I loved these videos. Have you whtaced any of the other videos of her on YouTube? I whtaced her interview with Oprah and this one that sort of follows her for a year. Kind of. I liked both. Oh. And her commencement address to Harvard. I think it was Harvard. She does have a sense of humor!And I’m not jealous of how awesome she is at all. Nope. Not one bit. Ahem.

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