TB’s Society Page

Posted on August 17, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“I am who I am, I am what I am, I do what I do and I ain’t never gonna do it any different. I don’t care who likes it and who don’t.” –Buck Owens

Let me place a disclaimer right here at the outset. The couple I saw get married this weekend are beautiful people, obviously deeply in love, and I was pleased to be present at the beginning of what will be for them a wonderful life together. And now, on with the post…

TB ain’t one to go around repeatin gossip. So you better be sure and listen close the first time.

I drove three hours Saturday to attend a small wedding ceremony way back in what some people might call “the woods.” The wedding took place on the bride’s grandparents’ farm. It was a beautiful place. Looked something like this (the place and the grandpa)(*ed. note, some photos below are artist reproductions of what was actually witnessed):

Hee Haw

Guests to the festive event were welcomed by frat boys in charge of parking. This guy was in charge:

Hee Haw

All were then were ushered to a table to sign the guest list and pick up their complimentary bottle of water and to use the communal bug spray. The water was for poring over your head in the 90 degree heat and the bug spray was for minimizing bee stings as hordes of “sweat bees” were on hand. The Bride’s family was simply too polite to turn back gate crashers. Those attending the wedding were dressed in a broad range of attire, from traditional coat and tie to bermuda shorts and flip flops. While some looked ridiculous, others felt so.  But let us not forget that it is better to look mah-ve-lus than to feel mah-ve-lus.

And the Bride and Groom looked just so. With anticipation built to a frenzy amongst the bee swatting congregation, the Bride finally made her appearance, being delivered to her Groom via camouflage golf cart.

Well, I'll be dang

Well, I'll be dang

IMG_0427

Never seen that before

The ceremony featured traditional prayers, vows and tears and the joyful couple performed brilliantly. An unusual highlight of the service was a congregational hymn, at the conclusion of which your correspondent’s own daughter loudly and aptly exclaimed, “Good Job! I  LIKE that song!”

Hee Haw

The couple’s union was then sealed and the congregants were dismissed to a good old fashioned alcohol, music and generally pleasure-free Baptist reception, from whence members of the Groom’s extended family were seen to sensibly depart before even the arrival of the celebrants. All manner of the latest in modern transport were used to transport the well wishers to the party.

Look closely, that's folks back there.

Look closely, that's folks back there.

The reception feast included a selection of delicacies recommended highly by this guy, from his inspection of the wonders of Sam’s Club:

Grandpa Jones - "Hey Grandpa, what's for supper?"

A bit of miscellany–Musical selections were generally traditional except for the recessional tune which was “Bittersweet Symphony”, a tune TB simultaneously found awesome and damned dubious. When asked about her opinion of the overall event, this guest could only stare blankly at your erstwhile reporter:

The parking area. Yep, there's tractors under that shed, scrap metal too.

The parking area. Yep, there's tractors under that shed, scrap metal too.

A good time was had by all.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

And on a completely unrelated note, except that it happened while driving this weekend, I include for your collective enjoyment, particularly for friend of the blog Calico, a photo of two cool clouds.

Seems obvious to me, but what do you see?

Seems obvious to me, but what do you see?

Posted in Humor, Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Six Travellin Questions, another Rerun

Posted on August 14, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“Myths which are believed in tend to become true.” George Orwell

  1. You are going to sea for a three hour tour. Instead of returning to port you will be stranded for a year (or six seasons maybe) on a deserted island. You have a feeling this might happen but instead of skipping the trip you simply place five important things in your beach bag before you leave the house. What are they?
  2. Where is the one place/sight/activity on Earth you would most like to visit/see/do that you are afraid you may not get around to, even if you plan on it?
  3. On the other hand, there is one US state and one country on Earth you can never set foot in. Choose one of each.
  4. Space travel or time travel?
  5. Where, when and what was the worst meal of your life?
  6. Going from Maine to California, would you rather drive, take the train, fly or cruise via the Panama Canal?

Today’s Summer Rerun

The Craps Story

Posted in Life, Travel | Tagged , , , | 29 Comments

You Make The Call!

Posted on August 12, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“Most loathsome events become humorous tales with the passage of time.” –Jimmy Buffett, from Tales From Margaritaville

It has only taken ten days. Now, finally, TB can laugh about it. After much therapy. And the arrival of replacement cards. And the straightening out of the ordeal with the cable company. But the mystery is unsolved and so I turn to you, the denizens of the TB universe to serve as the jury. As always, the Prosecution goes first. And there is only one jury instruction–you must not let sympathy or bias play a part in your verdict. And now, the trial:

Issue–Did TB lose his wallet or does his alternative theory–“the little scamp”–hold water?

The evidence against TB:

  • TB is/was the undisputed owner of the now fugitive male accoutrement
  • The trifold was last seen by both witnesses capable of broad powers of speech in the possession of TB, leaving the Dairy Queen.
  • For roughly 10 hours, the billfold’s whereabouts are unknown
  • TB’s home and vehicles have been turned inside out and the wallet remains awol
  • TB has a long record of absent-mindedness, ranging from driving into a parked car in a rainstorm while shooing a mosquito, to locking his keys in his car on the day he left for college to forgetting what else it was I was getting ready to say just now
  • Not once, but twice, TB has backed into a car in his own driveway in the last five years, including his own
  • There is no possibility the accessory was stolen
  • There are two plausible theories on how the money holder was lost: 1-that it was placed on the roof of the vehicle while extracting the alternately accused, but uncharged juvenile from her carseat and B-that the pocketbook somehow was taken out with the trash, somewhat like Luke, Leia and Han planned to do on the Death Star

TB’s Defense

  • It had to have been my 2 and a half year old daughter; she grabs things and has begun to “hide” things, usually her hair bows
  • She can now reach the “bar” where I up until today kept my essentials
  • She was caught red-handed hiding TB’s keys in her own car; these keys were removed from said bar; The little scamp’s reaction? “Lubyu Daddy, Now GO to work.” We let her off the hook
  • Yes I am an idiot; however I have never (previously) lost either my keys or the unloseable hip residing appurtenance now going on 27 years
  • I keep (kept) the object in question in the same place every day, for the most part
  • If the leather possessor had been on the roof of our car it would’ve fallen off, most likely in our neighborhood. A drive around found no trace and no one has called, written or emailed and TB’s contact info appeared numerous times within
  • No attempt to use the credit cards was made, thus reinforcing the contention that had the cowhide been found it would’ve been by an honest sort who would surely have made efforts to return it
  • Only one sack of garbage went out on the dreadful night and I’m 75% sure I would’ve noticed had my constant companion been perched amongst the soggy diapers within

Rebuttal

  • Yes, the little scamp has sticky fingers but she also has a habit of bringing the essential accoutrements of TB’s life directly to me when she comes into their possession; said accoutrements including the missing item, keys, phone and remote control
  • On the night in question the l.s. was quite tuckered out, thus sat on the sofa for much of her hour and a half of possible thievery watching a video in the presence of the defendant, then taking her ritual bath and retiring for the night; her activities on the morning leading up to the discovery of the disappearance are unaccounted for
  • Upon being questioned over the affair, the l.s. responded “ohhhhh nooooo. It’s lost.” Approximately 20 more times over the next two days she witnessed TB peering into forgotten nooks and crannies and repeated “Daddy’s wallet lost.” Actually, these statements can be interpreted to either impart or absolve the l.s.’ culpability, but you, the jury, are entitled to all the evidence to interpret as you will

I rest my case(s).

Bonus QOTD

“Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, but I know, it’s my own damn fault.” Jimmy Buffett, Margaritaville

Posted in Humor, Law, Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

F.O.M.

Posted on August 11, 2009 by travellinbaen

Oh, ye spinsters of fate, I beseech you, make the thread of the SI cover jinx long and strong in 2009.

Jevan Snead, Football, Ole Miss Rebels

Congrats to the Rebels and their fans here in the TB universe. Now I need to go puke.

I had to add this after some of the comments. Hat tip to Six Pack Speak for combining the logos that were developed a few years ago for a new Col Reb by some dude up in New York CITY.

image

Posted in Mississippi, Sports, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 23 Comments

TB Salutes John Hughes

Posted on August 11, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“My heroes were Dylan, John Lennon and Picasso, because they each moved their particular medium forward, and when the got to the point where they were comfortable, they always moved on.” –John Hughes

If you were born in a year that made you a teenager in the 1980’s, you are probably a fan of John Hughes movies. Dudes go more for Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and The Breakfast Club while chicks usually dig Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles, but really, we all like ’em all.

TB likes movies, but I ain’t no expert. Until hearing news accounts of his death I had no idea Hughes was a prolific movie maker far beyond those 80’s genre flicks. Just a few examples of his work–he wrote Home Alone, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Planes Trains and Automobiles, and, She’s Having a Baby (the movie that gets Rock Star Rambler only 2 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon, notably). Here’s his IMBD page if you want to know more.

In tribute to Hughes, I thought I’d let you know the results of my exclusive investigation into what became of some of his great characters.

The Breakfast Clubbers:

Allison (the brooding girl) dropped out of college to open a Goth supply store. It took off and she franchised it out, functioning by the mid-1990’s as its ruthless and effective CEO, became active in the US Chamber of Commerce and served as regional chairwoman for Sarah Palin’s 2008 Vice-Presidential campaign.

Andrew (the jock)  injured his knee in a wrestling match the next Saturday after detention and had to give up the sport. He took out loans to go to college and spent 7 great years “runnin tail” and serving as Hazing Tsar for his frat. He runs a lawn care business for the near-wealthy in his hometown.

Brian (the nerd) became a multi-millionaire in the dot com boom of the 1990’s then lost it all in the real estate bust of the 2000’s. He is now a Geek Squad manager and chess enthusiast.

John (the no-goodnik) Started a mega-church the day after graduation in a pool hall. The church now has over 10,000 members. John has had affairs with over 500 of them, but they were all with women and they were all at least seventeen. He cannot believe how freakin rich he is.

Claire (the princess) Became a MILF.

The 16 Candlers:

Long Duk Dong–Imprisoned in a tent in the Gobi Desert after courageously staring down a tank in Tiananmen Square. He maintains to this day he was simply the victim of some bad ‘shrooms and had no idea what was going on.

The Freshman Geek–Made millions in the dot com boom of the 1990’s. Had hundreds of girlfriends. Invested it all with Bernie Madoff. Has Sam’s panties framed on the wall of his apartment.

Sam–Married the Geek earlier this year. Can’t get him to take the damn panties off the wall. And she’s a MILF.

The Pinkos:

Duckie–Started taking steroids the day after prom. Became a regional bodybuilding legend. Tried “the gay thing” but it didn’t take. He’s now a regional sales associate for “the perfect push-up.”

Andie–Married with children. Has been traveling the country doing publicity stunts for PETA since 1992. If you’ve seen her act, you already know, she is also a MILF.

Bueller? Bueller?……Bueller?:

Sloane–Went to Law School and finished first in her class. Her only client now is Ferris, which keeps her busy.

Cameron–Struck it rich in the dot com boom of the 1990’s, then lost it all investing in a broadly diversified portfolio including telecommunications (World Com), energy (Enron), manufacturing (GM) and financials (Merrill Lynch). He’s totally pissed about it and has become a liberal activist. He runs a crappy blog. Married to Sloane.

Ferris–Struck it rich in the dot com boom of the 1990’s and invested it all in Exxon. Bought and flipped real estate until he tired of the game in 2006 and cashed out. He was in a plane crash over the Pacific Ocean in 1995 but was able to fashion a crude raft with seat cushions and life vests and thus saved the entire crew and all of the passengers. The resulting book and movie deals were worth millions more, and the proceeds were used to allow employees of the Sausage King of Chicago to buy their facility and keep their jobs intact after the owner suffered a heart attack. Currently has 2 billion dollars stashed in shoe boxes and mason jars hidden or buried around his various estates. According to his Facebook page he has over one million friends and he still loves crashing parades. Digs Cameron’s crappy blog and likes to post comments that are funnier than the posts themselves.

Posted in Entertainment, Humor, Movies | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

A Cable Company Customer Service Conversation

Posted on August 7, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.”     —Howard Scott, 20th century scientist/engineer

Maybe the government can’t do anything right, I don’t know. What I DO know is private monopolistic corporations blow. But then again, their “customer service” CAN give you a laugh, once you get over the aneurysm. Here’s a summary of my calls to the cable company yesterday:

TB–Hi, this is TB. I have a new credit card number and I am trying to access my account online to change it on my automatic pay. I have my user name and password but your page won’t let me in.

CS–Yes sir, I can help you with that. You have a new email address and that will be your user name.

TB–But I don’t want a new email address. I already have like 4.

CS–Yes sir, but you don’t have one of OURS.

TB–But I don’t want one of YOURS.

CS–Well, that’s the only way to get in to your account.

TB–OK sock it to me. But I don’t want you sending me anything at that account. I will never check it.

CS–I’m sorry sir. This is the email we have on file.

TB–But I didn’t even know it existed.

CS–Yes sir. It does.

TB–OK fine.

(TB gets new email address/user name and gets online, only to find that there is no way to change my credit card number. The previous CS rep, who knew why I needed in, neglected to advise on this point. So I called back in.)

TB–Hi, this is TB. I’m on your website but can’t access a page to update my automatic payment on my credit card. I need to change it.

CS–No problem sir I’ll take care of it. (takes credit card number)

TB–I just want to be clear. It’s 4 days before the bill is due. This will go through for the current bill and my automatic payments will continue as always right?

CS–Um. I am processing your request.

TB–What does that mean?

CS–Um. (clearly TB has gone off script) It means…..it should be fine as far as I know.

TB–I don’t like the way that sounds.

CS–Yes sir.

TB–I can see right now what is going to happen. There will be a late fee and I’ll hit the roof.

CS–Yes sir. There might be. (she is clearly not comfortable being a cable company customer cheat service rep)

TB–I think you can see how that is just stupid.

CS–(going off the reservation) Yes sir. It IS stupid. I’ll make sure this is going to be ok and will call you back if there is a problem.

TB–Ok, thanks. And will you send an email confirmation. But I don’t want it at the address y’all just gave me. I want it on my regular email which is….

CS–Oh no problem sir, we have your old email on file.

(one hour later, the phone rings)

CS–TB, I got in big trouble. I have to send you a form to fill out to change your card number and your payment will not be drafted on time, so there will be a late fee. And I can’t send anything to your regular email.

TB–CS, I don’t want to yell at you. You are clearly not at fault. I want to yell at your boss. What is his name.

CS–(totally rogue now)–TB, I can’t tell you (whispers his name).

TB–Did you say *A-hole* (not his real name).

CS–Yes sir.

TB–Can you transfer me?

CS–I can’t do that sir.

TB–Can you give me A-hole’s phone number sir.

CS–No sir, however the office is on Cedars of Lebanon in Jackson.

TB–Are you telling me that’s where A-hole’s office is?

CS–Yes sir.

TB–Is it in the phone book?

CS–Yes sir.

TB–And I shouldn’t tell him where I got his name right?

CS–Yes sir. Thank you sir. Have a nice day.

(a few seconds later)

TB–I need to speak to A-hole

(after holding for 5 minutes)

AH–May I help you?

TB–AH, I want to tell you what I’ve been going through all morning and to preface it by telling you that to do the same thing with AT&T, who I hate as much as Comcast normally, it only took me 10 seconds to accomplish online. (I tell him)

AH–Um. Yes sir. But you see, people try to cheat us (oblivious of the irony) and so we need a signed authorization like the one you originally signed.

TB–I get that. I really do. But you see, I never signed an authorization. Just like I don’t with AT&T or any of the other 1000 businesses who take my credit card online all the time. So I have no intention of waiting on the mail to sign a form that I can’t get back to you until after the 10th by which time you will charge me a late fee.  And after I talked to three of your customer service reps (had to give my rogue friend some cover) I finally got your name as the man who can fix all this. So how about it?

AH–Ok. How about this. We’ll take your payment today for this month, then you sign the papers we mail you for the ongoing bill?

TB–Was the customer service rep allowed to do that for me?

AH–No sir.

TB–Sure would’ve been easier if she was.

AH–Yes sir.

TB–Whatever. That’s fine. But you DO see that by taking the one time payment now, and in seeing that it goes through, just like the previous FIVE years of payments on my account, you are wasting your time and mine by not just setting up the automatic payments with the new number?

AH–Yes sir I do.

TB–Just checkin.

(awkward pause)

TB–Can you send an email confirmation? Preferably to my old email address which is….

AH–No problem sir. I have it right here on file. Thank you sir.

Posted in Humor, Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Six Questions, One Rerun

Posted on August 6, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” –Pablo Picasso

Last August we were in the midst of a Presidential Election, the Olympics were going on and the TB universe was in its infancy. There was a lot to discuss. August 2009 gives us the health care fear fest, birthers and a lot of rain in Ridgeland, and none of that seems worth a post right now. Plus, I’m leaving town for a few days to attend a family event. So while I’m gone, I leave you with six questions. Be funny, be serious, or come back Monday and see if I found anything interesting to write about over the weekend–it’s up to you. I’ll answer these myself later on in the comments, but so not to influence the direction of the thread, I leave them blank for now. I look forward to peering inside YOUR twisted brains for a change!

  1. If you could live for a year as a fictional character, who would you choose and why?
  2. God grants you the power to cure cancer, establish world peace, or eliminate hunger–choose one (this question sponsored by the Miss South Carolina Pageant Commission).
  3. If you could undo one mistake of history what would it be?
  4. You can push a button and make one celebrity of your choosing disappear from the public eye permanently. They won’t be hurt, they will just lose their fame. Who do you choose?
  5. In the future everyone gets to pick a superpower. What’s yours?
  6. Who were the three greatest Americans of the Twentieth Century?

————————–

For those of you new to the blog since August 2008, I bring back through the power of the great 20th century invention–the rerun–one of my favorite all time posts. I hope you enjoy.

The Key West Story

Posted in Life | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

If Political Consultants Became Marriage Counselors

Posted on August 4, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one–I can’t speak for you, but I’m on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show.”        —Glenn Beck

TB enjoys a good debate. Though I won’t do it lightly, I’m even open to changing my position on most any matter, if given enough factual justification to do so. I do not, however, respond to arguments involving name calling, accusations of lunacy, or simple volume. Nor am I impressed by theories. It’s not that I don’t subscribe to certain theories myself, but I don’t get heartburn when my theory fails to change someone’s mind unless I can support it with a lot more evidence than the opposing theory can muster, and I’m not accepting anyone else’s theory unless the same threshold is met. Mainly, I am repelled by arguments that to me are based on obvious fallacies and falsities. In politics, because it works, I find almost all discussion useless mainly because the arguments set forth by the talking heads and the news reported by the media is so often off the mark and disingenuous.

The health insurance “debate” is a perfect example of this. The left tells us everyone can get coverage with no tax increases and no care delivery issues and the right tells us….well, mainly they are sending thugs to town hall meetings to shout down speakers, but when they argue it is that the government wants to get between you and your doctor, provide mass abortions and let old people die without care. It’s all lies. Neither side is willing to concede the obvious points favoring the other–that our system needs major overhaul, that too much health care money is being wasted on corporate profits for companies acting only as middle men and that to overhaul it will cost a lot of money and ultimately will drastically reduce the size of the private health insurance industry, costing a good many jobs and a significant stockholder loss. But this post isn’t about that.

I was visualizing this morning what a family discussion over personal budgets would look like if a couple outsourced the debate to political consultants. It would go something like this:

Husband Proxy–Dear, I just read an article suggesting couples don’t go out to eat often enough and when we do we seldom go for steaks. Maybe we should go have a steak this weekend.

Wife Proxy–Steaks are expensive. Are you sure that’s a good idea?

HP–They are only expensive in the short term. Compared to lunchmeat, they are actually quite healthy if we go with grain fed beef. So if by eating a steak we skip all the chemicals and salt from our ham sandwiches we will save money in the long run on health care. To say nothing of the mayonnaise we use on our sandwiches–the more I think about it, the more I think eating steak is like giving ourselves free money.

WP--I think maybe you are just being a pork-ist. In fact, I recall that you made more than one pork-ist joke back when we were dating.

HP–There you go playing the tired old species card.

WP–It’s not just that. We already have a package of ham in the fridge. If we don’t eat it all by the due date we’ll have to throw it out and  that would be waste. There is far too much waste in this household and its due to your insistence on “change” in our meal plans.

HP–So now you are telling me you don’t believe in free competition! I am expected to forgo a delicious meal just so a lesser food won’t sit around doing nothing? That’s fascist! And socialist too!

WP–Do you even know what those words mean?

HP–NO! But they are really bad! Why, do you?

WP–Of course not, but it involves Germany.

HP–Oh, that’s a snide reference to the Black Forest isn’t it? This isn’t about what’s right at all is it? You are getting coupons for ham and not reporting it!

WP–Oh yeah? Well how do you know that beef is even grain fed? Have you seen a certificate of proof? I think you are playing the fool for the cow lobby and in your perfect little idealistic tasty delicious world refuse to see that the cows are out to get us all.

HP–Nine out of ten waiters in this town recommend the grain fed beef. Anyone who can’t see that is an excellent choice is simply a fringe element.

WP–I just realized…this isn’t about the steak OR the ham. You hate my mayonnaise. This is all just a smokescreen to reduce the amount of mayonnaise we use. YOU, SIR, are a pork-ist, mayo-ist, um, communist….ummm….PIG!

HP–Now that’s a low blow dear. Some of my favorite dishes contain mayonnaise.

Wife–Come on babe. Let’s go out for ice cream.

Husband–Should we bring Carville and Matalin?

Husband and Wife– <Blank Stare>

HP and WP– <waiting hopefully>

Husband and Wife <Leaving without HP and WP>

HP–You think they ought to get chocolate or vanilla?

WP–Oh I KNOW what you think about white foods………………….

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

TB Writes/You Decide

Posted on August 3, 2009 by travellinbaen

You may notice a new feature on the blog that started today. Readers can now rate each post and comment on a scale of 1-5 stars. You may not get the option to rate unless you click on the post itself as opposed to just reading from the top of the page, fyi. Please use this new feature to help me learn what it is I do pretty well and what I really need to work on. And if there are posts you loved or loathed from the past and would like to anonymously give me feedback via the rating system I’d appreciate that too. Don’t pull any punches, friends; I know everything on the page ain’t gold!

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

A Gallows Humor Tribute

Posted on August 3, 2009 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day:

“The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow.” –Mark Twain

TB finds it easy to keep a positive attitude, an essential personal attribute, maybe the most essential. That is, I find it easy save for the days when everything goes wrong. Well that and save for the days when something goes wrong. Oh yeah, and save for the days when I’m bored. Basically when people like me, when I’m doing things I like and when I find a clean quarter sitting outside  my door as I wait in the drive-thru for my morning parfait from McDonald’s, I find it easy to keep a positive attitude.

This weekend did not include one of those easy days. In my mind I was fighting to regain some positivity, but my heart wasn’t buying. But then I received news of the passing of a beloved father and the funeral of a beloved teacher. Several friends of the blog knew at least one of these great men; friends who by all rights deserve at least a day of uninterrupted self pity. Yet what they have projected not only today but in the days leading up to it has ultimately been positivity–celebration, remembrance, and courage accenting their obvious, hard-earned sadness.

I find the above introduction insufficient and maybe you will too. Death is a difficult subject to contemplate, even more difficult to write about. Anyway, my TB universe reaction to an evening of introspection is to honor the memory of these men with a stab at humor. One of them I barely knew, but from what I do know I think he would approve, and the other I did not know, but the tenor of reports from his funeral suggest he would also not object. For both, in the grand scheme, it is clear that only celebration for their life exceeds sorrow over their loss.

And so to those who remain, TB offers some advice to consider upon your passage through the Pearly Gates. A few things you should NOT say to St. Peter or any winged bureaucratic types as you get your paperwork for admittance in order.*

  • “There must be some mistake.”
  • “So I have this neighbor I’d really like to haunt…”
  • “How much longer before I get to see the Chief? I’ve got questions.”
  • “So who else got in? Robert Johnson? Johnny from Georgia? Faust? That guy from Damn Yankees?”
  • “I ain’t signin nuthin til I see a lawyer.”
  • “If Heaven ain’t a lot like Dixie, I don’t wanna go.”
  • “So somebody AIN’T always watchin eh? ‘Cause that book’s missin some of the best stuff.”
  • “92 years on Earth and not one single freakin Sugar Bowl?! And don’t even get me started on the Saints! Screw all y’all!”

P.S…..finally, a photo in lieu of 1000 words reflecting positivity and evidencing support for my contention that God does indeed have a sense of humor….the photo below is of a piglet squid, one of God’s creatures. The P.S. lives in most of the world’s oceans at about 300′ on the depth finder.

My sincere condolences to the family and friends of Pascagoula icons Bill Feidt and Harvie McClure.

Posted in Humor, Life, Philosobaen | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments