Spending Money

Posted on August 20, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day     “It’s clearly a budget.  It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”     George W. Bush

Paul B. Farrell is a financial columnist with over 1000 articles to his credit.  He appears regularly on all of the major news networks as an expert in his field.  He has authored four books, worked as executive vice president for Financial News Network and was an investment banker with Morgan Stanley.  This is all I can find out about him, but it seems enough to be satisfied he’s a capitalist.  Here is a link to his article A Nation of Warmongers on marketwatch.com.

You can read it for yourself if you’re interested, but here are just a few of the assertions in it that TB finds meaningful:

Americans spend 54% of their tax dollars on the military.  This figure represents 47% of the total military spending of the entire world.  Is it really necessary to spend that much?  If we cut it down to 40% of the budget, what could we do with that money?  Many people who call themselves Conservative because they believe in balanced budgets and restrained government size and spending are deluding themselves if they think their goals can be met while continuing to fund the military at these levels.  And TB believes in having the strongest military in the world, believes that our military personnel deserve support, and even believes that its necessary to use them on occasion.  Wisely.  But clearly, an inordinate proportion of our national resources is devoted to war.

Farrell also asks why it is necessary to spend over $200 Billion on no-bid private war contractors numbering 180,000–more personnel than the entire allotment of enlisted soldiers in Iraq.  This is where a big chunk of that unnecessary military spending is being wasted.  Remember Gomer Pyle having to do KP duty?  Wouldn’t happen in this day and age because a contractor peels the potatoes.  And gets a lot of cabbage to do it.  There are also a bunch of Blackwater employees carrying guns and expecting immunity from prosecution when they misuse them.  And making our actual soldiers look bad far too often–these dudes ain’t building schools and hospitals.

Finally, Farrell asks why the President and party (and he didn’t mention McCain, but should have) associated with “supporting our troops”  opposed passage of a new GI bill.  He should also have asked why the same group has let health care for wounded vets be conducted in rat infested, overcrowded hospitals.  If it were me, I’d just as soon do without their so-called “support.”

If you’re a die hard Republican who can’t figure out why TB went off the reservation and joined up with the lefties, read this article.  Even if you decide its all BS, it will at least give you a good idea of why TB and so many others are fed up with the neo-cons.

Posted in Money, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Customer Service Conversation

Posted on August 18, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day     “If you’re looking at it right there on your computer why can’t you just send me my check?”     Unknown Old Guy from earlier today

TB continues his series of recorded conversations today with an exchange between a technologically hapless farmer, a cell phone customer service rep and a second customer service rep via telephone.  I get very little feedback on the conversations I relate, but if you don’t like them that’s too bad because I think they are freakin hilarious–and all are as accuratetely recorded as I am capable of doing.  Please note I picked up this conversation in its latter stages.

Customer–All I want you to do is write me a check.

Tammy (In house rep)–Yes sir.  Shannon should be able to help you with that.

Customer–When I got this phone it was for $10 a month and I got 30 minutes talk time.

Tammy–A lot changes in 12 years doesn’t it?

Customer–I had to have a loud one so I can hear it over my tractor.

Tammy–(to phone) Hey Shannon.  (mumble, mumble, mumble), we don’t have a great connection.  

Customer–Plus I’m about deaf.

Tammy–(hands phone to customer)

Customer–I’ve been in here now since 9 57 am and its now 10 34, and apparantly this little lady Tammy’s got nothing better to do than hear me ramble on so I just want you to send me my check.

Shannon, I assume–(inaudible)

Customer–Well I’m on your company phone in your company’s store and I can’t hear you but just go right ahead and we’ll do the best we can.

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–All I wanted was my 30 minutes but ya’ll sent me a new phone and a new contract and I went ahead and signed and then you charged me for that phone and it took me forever to get my money back and then you said you weren’t doing the $10 plan any more but for $29.99 you’d give me more minutes and I said “naw-sir you won’t, you can cancel me right here and now” and you said you would and then you charged me for it anyway and I got that straightened out too but you never paid me my money, and then you charged me a penalty.  Say, darlin, where you at-Virginia? I can’t hardly hear you.

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–Ontario!?  Well, now we’re gettin somewhere.

TB–(chuckles quietly and looks away)

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–The last time I called they wouldn’t give me no direct number to call nobody but told me to go to some dubya dubya dubya but I don’t do them thangs I barely do these so why don’t you go ahead and give me your direct number?

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–Well Tammy won’t give me no direct number neither.

Tammy–(blank stare)

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–Yes ma’am that was 2006.  That sounds about right anyways as best as I can remember.

TB–(walks a couple of steps further away)

Shannon–(inaudible)

Customer–Well if you’re looking at it right there on your computer why can’t you just send me my check?

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–I’ve done invested my day.  I’m gone keep talkin until you send me my check.

Tammy–(blank stare)

Shannon–inaudible

Customer–(to Tammy) I think she wants to talk back at you.

Tammy–(to Shannon) mumble, mumble, mumble; (to Customer) your check should be mailed out by August 27.

Customer–What’s today?  What’s your direct number?  What’s Shannon’s direct number?  I got to get back to my wife.

TB’s customer service rep, back after a prolonged absence–Mr. TB, I’m sorry we can’t find your phone.

TB–Blank Stare

Posted in Humor, Life | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Global Warming Slowed by Manmade Global Cooling?

Posted on August 15, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day     “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”       –Yogi Berra

I was forwarded an email today including the transcript of a NOVA episode from PBS.  To confirm its validity, I went to the NOVA website and discovered the episode actually first ran in 2006, though it was re-aired August 5, 2008.  Here is a link to the site.  

TB is no scientist.  I have reviewed many scientific studies over the years in connection with work and I have had the opportunity to discuss and dissect them with eminently qualified experts on both sides of the particular issues being reviewed.  I believe I have a pretty good grasp of what makes a scientific conclusion reliable.  I also have learned that there can be meaningful and legitimate debate over most all technical topics, but that if you follow the source of the money funding a study, you will have a good idea of what the study’s conclusions will be.  So in the global warming debate, I am continually searching for who funds the scientists publishing conclusions from every angle.  Almost always, the funds supporting scientists who deny man-made global warming come from Oil Companies.  This is a major reason TB does not accept their conclusions.

The transcript and article attached to the NOVA episode are particularly compelling to me because the researchers cited were working independently from one another and thus do not appear to have the same funding sources.  In a nutshell, they found that pollution in the 1970’s and 1980’s created a dust cloud that shielded the Earth from solar energy and actually slowed global warming.  Simultaneously, greenhouse gases were working to increase temperatures, but because of the pollution clouds, the rate of warming was slowed. There is evidence pollution is responsible for severe drought conditions in Africa and elsewhere as well as respiratory illnesses most everywhere. As pollution controls have begun to assert themselves these have abated in some areas, and if China and India can get their pollution under control it will improve conditions in many other places.  But get this–as pollution has begun to decrease, more sun is allowed into the atmosphere and consequently the temperature is rising faster than ever.

In many ways, how you feel about global warming is a matter of faith.  After all, in conversation about it don’t we always say we either “believe” in it or “don’t believe?”  I’m not prepared to vouch for anybody’s work. My conclusion may be wrong.  But from what I’ve read and observed, “I believe” global warming is a serious problem.  If you are interested in the subject, you ought to read the transcript from the PBS site I linked above.  I know the Republicans will do nothing to address global warming.  I fear the Democrats will be just as timid, but I hope they at least get the chance come November.

In the meantime, it sure has been beautiful, and unseasonably cool all week here in South Carolina. Fodder for the non-believers I suppose.

Posted in Politics, science | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

On Perfection

Posted on August 12, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day       “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”        –William Shakespeare  from King Lear

Folly Beach, South Carolina, is an imperfect beach town.  The sand has a little to high a percentage of dirt mixed in, the water isn’t blue.  Condos line the beach and block the ocean from view of anyone not in them. With all the condos, there is also a little too much car traffic and there are far too many realtors. I don’t believe there is a bakery.  It might rain tomorrow.

As TB strolled around Folly this morning, I thought about what makes the perfect beach town.  Unlike “A Great Bar” a great beach town is not dependent upon which set of inhabitants are present at a particular moment.  It needs a mix of locals, young and old, rich and middle class.  It has to welcome travelers though shouldn’t cater only to certain niches.  It ought to be equally navigable by car, golf cart and sneakers. The inland streets and yards should be encroached on by sand and the homes and yards should be alternately ramshackle and manicured.  There must be no national chains, save perhaps a solitary quick stop, but there needs to be a pizza joint, a burger joint and a juke joint.  I’d love to see a few cottages hidden by banana leaves, hydrangeas and ivy and shaded by palmettos or oaks or palm trees, and it would be nice if a few were available to rent.  A large public pier and a place to dine over the water would add a lot to the overall ambiance.  A great beach town needs a lighthouse. All of these are characteristics of Folly and they are enough to make it a damned fine beach town.  Of all TB’s beach town sojourns, I’d rank it second only to Cannon Beach, Oregon.

But perfect, Folly is not.  Is any place?  Does it matter?  I think seeking perfection in a beach town, or completing a task, or in living a life is commendable so long as we recognize at the outset perfection is a goal that will never be met.  Yet we should recognize, appreciate and enjoy damned good when we see it. And at Folly I see it.  And if it weren’t for those damned condos, I’d never have been able to come.

Posted in Life, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

It Ain’t All Champagne and Caviar

Posted on August 11, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day     “The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.”       Niccolo Machiavelli

There are a few things about a vacation, and one to the beach in particular, that remind us: in the wake of Adam and Eve and their dreadfully poor judgement, there is no corner of the world that can be paradise complete.  A beach holiday is no exception.  

Is there anything more disagreeable than donning a wet swimsuit?  Possibly sand in your bedspread, which is a certainty after day one at the beach.  Also, ice melts really fast in the heat which means you need to drink up your beers as quickly as possible.  And I truly despise applying sunscreen, especially to the back of a brother-in-law.  Finally…well…I can’t think of any other drawbacks.  I hope this has made you working stiffs feel a little better about your cubicle while TB enjoys the beautiful Folly Island surf and sun.

Wish you were here!

Posted in Humor, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Travellin with TB

Posted on August 10, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day      “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.”     –St. Augustine

TB finds himself this peaceful Sunday morning in Folly Beach, South Carolina watching the birds and the sunrise and the ocean.  I never see the sunrise at home.  For one thing, the trees would block it until it was already too high to look upon; but more importantly, when at home I need my sleep.  Not so on vacation.  I know the idea of rising early when one isn’t compelled to is anathema to many; but for me somehow the factors of choice and newness and the desire to see all I can of a different place overwhelms my usual desire to stay in bed as long as possible.  So at six I arose and went for a beach walk and gazed to the east until I had to look away.  Then I turned around and came back to report what I saw.

Before the orange ball appeared on the horizon, there were very few folks out.  Maybe a couple dozen looking both ways.  Ten minutes later the sun was bright and a couple hundred folks were out.  I wonder why they didn’t get up just a bit sooner to see the best part of the show? 

I saw several distinct beach archetypes.  The leathery old guy jogger was first to catch my eye.  I swear to God, I think there is a secret society of these dudes.  Every beach I have ever been to has one.  One, no more.  Unlike the sith, they apparantly do not take on apprentices.  There are always a couple of locals, usually over seventy.  You can recognize them because instead of speaking when you pass they sneer as if to say, this is MY beach outsider–how dare you part timers sully my pristine privileged view. There were several shell stoopers.  There are a lot of pretty shells on the beach, and sometimes I pick one up.  But I never save them.  What would I do with them?  Two overweight girls were feeding seagulls.  I felt a bit sorry for them.  I imagine the beach can be a difficult place for girls like this.  But they seemed to be having a grand old time, so perhaps my sympathy was misplaced.  Another truism of early morning beach walks is that the girls who reign over the sandy world as high priestesses of sun worship do not take their prone thrones until several hours later.  The morning is for old guys and aging guys mostly, though not exclusively.  One of the almost aged guys on the early morning beach is also the metal detector guy.  In his navy shorts, short sleeved button down (with pocket) and sandals, he appears as the ever hopeful and expectant treasure hunter.  I wonder what kind of crap he finds?  Metal detecting kind of intrigues me.  But I’ll never do it.  I don’t like sandals.  Also, I think they may be a private club whose members agree to divide and stake their territories.  Never more than one of them on a beach at a time.  Say….could these guys be the missing apprentices?

Posted in Humor, Life, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Birthdays

Posted on August 7, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day       “Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.”       –Groucho Marx

TB dreads the inevitable.  As a kid, my times of greatest stress were sitting in a classroom on poetry recital day and waiting for my name to get called.  I was fine once I stood up.  I hate the days before a dental or doctor appointment, but find that I get through them just fine once I’m in the office.  And I hate the days before a birthday.  I’m always, so far, happy with the age I currently am but I don’t want to advance.  I start thinking about all the things I should’ve known earlier in life and the time wasted in ignorance.  I recalculate the statistical probability of years until death.  

At 38 there are several things with which one must come to grips.  Your contemporaries in professional sports are retiring because they are too old to be effective any more.  If you’re not already there or at least on the fast track, you’re probably not going to be either rich or famous.  You’re getting real close to annual checkups including such procedures as blood tests, blood pressure readings, and anal probes, or so I’ve heard.  All these things and more make the approach of another birthday as unwelcome as TB at a country club.

Then the day arrives and I must grudgingly admit, I like it just fine.  I get gifts these days, which is a lot of fun, but still hard to get used to after 20 years of relying only on the yearly check from Mom. I have nieces call and sing to me.  I eat cake, or this year, air delivery frozen chocolate covered key lime pies on a stick! And I block out all those worries and realizations from earlier in the week.  I can deal with those next year, just before I turn 39.  Might as well, because 39 for TB is gonna be worse than 40–that anticipation thing again. So I’m enjoying today.  I just don’t want to go any further.  But as I always say, getting older sure beats the alternative.

Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Guantanamo Terror

Posted on August 6, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day     “We can only trust that the next subjects … will include cooks, tailors, and cobblers without whose support terrorist leaders would be left unfed, unclothed, and unshod, and therefore rendered incapable of planning or executing their attacks.”         –Army Lt. Col. Stephen Abraham, a former Guantanamo official who has since become critical of the legal process

One of Osama Bin Laden’s drivers was convicted today in a mockery of a trial held in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.  First things first–Osama has a car?  I thought he used a donkey or something.

With that out of the way, I’ll assume the allegation that this man was Osama’s driver is true.  I’ll also assume its true that to be his driver, one must demonstrate fealty to Bin Laden.  Those facts are enough to convince me this man is terrorist and an enemy of the United States.  But compared to the harm done to our justice system, not just during this trial but for the last 7 1/2 years, he is but a pimple on a pig’s ass.

Just because someone is guilty does not mean you don’t give them a fair trial.  Notice I did not say they deserved one.  The public is who deserves a fair trial.  Because when a criminal is convicted based on a flawed process it sets a precedent.  The same process will be used again and again and eventually it will ensnare the innocent. In the driver’s trial, the Judge allowed hearsay evidence, evidence obtained through tortured interrogations, and most shocking of all–secret testimony.

It is beyond debate that the trial would be unconstitutional if the defendant were an American.  It is debatable whether it is constitutional for foreign nationals, but that is not the point of my argument.  If America cannot be relied upon to give a fair trial to everyone, who can?  If terrorists cannot be convicted using the 1000 years of Anglo-American jurisprudence that has developed to ensure fair trials, they should not be convicted at all.  After all, American civilian defendants have all of the rights denied to these detainees, yet are still convicted at a rate of around 99%.

The Republicans are responsible for this.  You may not care and you may even cheer them.  But remember they are also responsible for the paltry sum your dead grandmother will be worth if she’s mutilated by an out of control vehicle.  They are also responsible for the lowball settlement of your beachfront home leveled by a hurricane.  They are the Big Business funded and elected state Supreme Court Justices who sit as a last line of defense for corporations who have committed torts and crimes. They are also responsible for turning the Justice Department in to a political organization. All of this is tied together.  They have damaged the process systematically and they won’t stop until they own it.  

Maybe you like the way the Cons have handled the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, their approach to gas prices and energy, their opposition to making health care available to poor kids, their stance against protecting the environment, or their vigorous defense (of the idea) of marriage, and maybe those issues are more important to you than the legal system.  But know this, when you vote Republican you are voting to put power in the hands of government and corporations and to take away power from individuals, even wealthy ones.   

Bonus Quotes of the Day

“Those who would give up liberty for safety deserve neither.”     –Benjamin Franklin

“You can protect your liberties in this world only by protecting the other man’s freedom. You can be free only if I am free.”     –Clarence Darrow

Posted in Law, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

A Great Bar

Posted on August 5, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day       “It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason.”     Latin Proverb

Men’s magazines have a stable of go-to stories that are sure to fill pages when ideas are lacking.  One of them is the Top 10 (25, 100, 500) bars story, and I’ll freely admit, it works on me.  Today in fact I was perusing such a list hoping to see a mention of some old favorite.  There were a couple on this particular list and several noteworthy omissions considering the article also included a substantial honorable mention list broken down by state.  Mississippi’s bars were Proud Larry’s and City Grocery in Oxford, Po Monkey’s in Merigold and Schimmel’s in Jackson, for the record.  All good choices, though to leave out Gorenflo’s in Biloxi is to cast doubt upon the research done in preparing the list.

As many of you are doing this very second, I began compiling my personal list of great bars frequented and/or visited.  In addition to all of the above, my list would include Shucker’s in Ridgeland, Huck’s in Gautier, the old Matthew’s in Pascagoula, Krazy Kajun’s in Creole (also defunct), Captain Tony’s in Key West, the Flora-Bama, the Blue Note and the Subway in Jackson….I could go on.  But as I began to formulate what it was about these bars that made them great so I could pass the knowledge on to you, I had an epiphany.  It was nothing.

The coolest bar in the hippest place with the most magazine articles written about it absolutely sucks when the conditions are wrong. And the lowliest dive or the most generic chain, or the smallest capacity places can all turn into Valhalla when the stars line up just right on a given night.  Or day.  A great bar is a fleeting concept.  A bar must constantly start over, day after day, to create the magic that makes it great.  And no bar can pull the rabbit out of the hat every time.  This is one of the reasons going to a bar is such great fun–you never know if you’re going to hit the greatness lottery when you cross the threshold, but there’s always a chance.

What alchemy works to concoct greatness is variable too.  Much depends on your station in life.  Example. If you are single, male and 30 you may decide on a Monday to go to your local pub for a few beers to watch the game, play some trivia, and just be out of the apartment.  You do this pretty regularly.  Then one night it happens.  In comes the bank teller newly divorced party crew.  Yadda yadda yadda, you’re in a great bar.

Another example.  Your sitting in a busy Karaoke bar with a couple of pals slamming lite beer.  Next to you is a group of 18 year old PFC’s getting off base for the first time in a month.  One of them tries to steal your chair, one of your party stops them, and a standoff ensues.  You might die.  But one of the army punks is sober and knows all about the stockade, and he defuses the situation and leads his merry band of patriots back out to the street.  You live to tell the story.  The story is about a great bar in the Keys.

So the next time one of you magazine publishers is running short on story ideas, do us all a favor.  Don’t go to the same old best bar list–that’s the easy way out. (And TB loves a list.)  Come to me.  I’ll tell a few stories, some true, some lies and I’ll round up the asshole runnin buddies for a few more versions of each. Before you know it, you’ve got a list of great bars and an article worth reading.  And nobody can second guess your list.  It’s up to them to go make their own great bar, wherever they happen to be.

Posted in Humor, Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Brett Favre

Posted on August 5, 2008 by travellinbaen

Quote of the Day      “Enjoying living was learning to get your money’s worth and knowing when you had it.”       –Jake Burns, in “The Sun Also Rises”; Ernest Hemingway

Why is the Brett Favre issue so difficult to resolve?  If the Packers want him to play QB, bring him in. If they don’t, trade him for peanuts to someone outside the division.  Or if he’s really not that good any more in their opinion, just waive him and kick the Vikings’ ass anyway.  Or if Aaron Rogers is so damn good you can’t risk him sitting on the bench this year, trade him for some serious immediate help and make another run at the Super Bowl with Favre this year.  As for Favre–20 Million to stay at home doesn’t make sense to you?  You need better advice–my contact info is at http://www.legalhelponline.com and I’m available to you and any other aging quarterback with similar job offers.

Posted in Sports | Tagged , | 1 Comment