A Customer Service Conversation

Quote of the Day     “If you’re looking at it right there on your computer why can’t you just send me my check?”     Unknown Old Guy from earlier today

TB continues his series of recorded conversations today with an exchange between a technologically hapless farmer, a cell phone customer service rep and a second customer service rep via telephone.  I get very little feedback on the conversations I relate, but if you don’t like them that’s too bad because I think they are freakin hilarious–and all are as accuratetely recorded as I am capable of doing.  Please note I picked up this conversation in its latter stages.

Customer–All I want you to do is write me a check.

Tammy (In house rep)–Yes sir.  Shannon should be able to help you with that.

Customer–When I got this phone it was for $10 a month and I got 30 minutes talk time.

Tammy–A lot changes in 12 years doesn’t it?

Customer–I had to have a loud one so I can hear it over my tractor.

Tammy–(to phone) Hey Shannon.  (mumble, mumble, mumble), we don’t have a great connection.  

Customer–Plus I’m about deaf.

Tammy–(hands phone to customer)

Customer–I’ve been in here now since 9 57 am and its now 10 34, and apparantly this little lady Tammy’s got nothing better to do than hear me ramble on so I just want you to send me my check.

Shannon, I assume–(inaudible)

Customer–Well I’m on your company phone in your company’s store and I can’t hear you but just go right ahead and we’ll do the best we can.


Customer–All I wanted was my 30 minutes but ya’ll sent me a new phone and a new contract and I went ahead and signed and then you charged me for that phone and it took me forever to get my money back and then you said you weren’t doing the $10 plan any more but for $29.99 you’d give me more minutes and I said “naw-sir you won’t, you can cancel me right here and now” and you said you would and then you charged me for it anyway and I got that straightened out too but you never paid me my money, and then you charged me a penalty.  Say, darlin, where you at-Virginia? I can’t hardly hear you.


Customer–Ontario!?  Well, now we’re gettin somewhere.

TB–(chuckles quietly and looks away)


Customer–The last time I called they wouldn’t give me no direct number to call nobody but told me to go to some dubya dubya dubya but I don’t do them thangs I barely do these so why don’t you go ahead and give me your direct number?


Customer–Well Tammy won’t give me no direct number neither.

Tammy–(blank stare)


Customer–Yes ma’am that was 2006.  That sounds about right anyways as best as I can remember.

TB–(walks a couple of steps further away)


Customer–Well if you’re looking at it right there on your computer why can’t you just send me my check?


Customer–I’ve done invested my day.  I’m gone keep talkin until you send me my check.

Tammy–(blank stare)


Customer–(to Tammy) I think she wants to talk back at you.

Tammy–(to Shannon) mumble, mumble, mumble; (to Customer) your check should be mailed out by August 27.

Customer–What’s today?  What’s your direct number?  What’s Shannon’s direct number?  I got to get back to my wife.

TB’s customer service rep, back after a prolonged absence–Mr. TB, I’m sorry we can’t find your phone.

TB–Blank Stare

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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4 Responses to A Customer Service Conversation

  1. Madd Dawg says:

    I am offended by your seemingly casual use of the callous term “old guy”. No self-respecting wanna-be liberal icon such as yourself should use such a politically incorrect label.

  2. You can’t pigeonhole me.

  3. supercynic says:

    Ahhh, “you can’t pigeonhole me.” So simple. So brilliant. So funny. And the conversation was hilarious as well. I’m pretty sure I’m related to that old guy.

  4. Pingback: Bookmarks about Customer

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