The Rejected Beer Names List

Quote of the Day:

What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.” –Edgar Allan Poe, Lines on Ale

TB, along with TDW and the Woodsman spent this Saturday afternoon past at the first annual “Top of the Hops” beer tasting event in Jackson, Mississippi. For only two Jacksons we purchased a ticket entitling us to a tiny plastic beer mug that I thought was a keychain at first but it was suitable for consumption of two ounce shots for as many times as we could endure the beer lines over four hours. I figure we had about 30 shots each, which tops out our total haul at about five traditional 12 ounce beers at eight bucks a pop. I ain’t complainin’ or nuthin… WAS kinda cool walkin’ around feelin’ like a giant…

There were a handful of beers I’d never heard of before and plenty I’d never tasted so I enjoyed my day. I even enjoyed the taste of the first dozen shots or so. After that, eh, they were all about the same. My attention thus turned from connoseurin’ to wordsmithin’. I love beer names, especially all these newfangled crafty type beers. Friend of the blog Greeg is an aspiring brewer and a couple of years ago he let me sample some of his work. It was damn good, I tell you, good enough to sell. And so we had an extended, somewhat ramblin’ conference, over the course of several football games and several very large, illegally potent stouts and ales. It’s fun trying to come up with new beer names. As I think about it though, I find the famously discarded names more interesting. So I give you the ultimate list of beer names that didn’t pass muster with the Man.

  1. Road Trippin’ (Summer Weave)
  2. Pete’s Pretty Good Pale Ale
  3. Krabb’s Extra Red
  4. Abita Oil Can (distilled from the pure blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico)
  5. Water (later re-labeled as Michelob Ultra)
  6. Spare Tire Stout
  7. Crackalicious Buddha Black (this entry brought to you by the Random Beer Generator–try it, it’s a kick.)
  8. Poppin’ Pilsner
  9. Ahhhhhh Bock (it was determined there were too few Mash aficionados left)
  10. Blank Stare Bitter

This post needs a soundtrack

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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7 Responses to The Rejected Beer Names List

  1. G-LO says:

    Your two ounce pours reminds of an episode of Happy Days when Richie and Potsy go to a bachelor party in Milwaukee and get trashed drinking beer. When Richie’s Dad picks them up, he asks them how much beer they drank. Richie says that they had teenie tiny glasses of beer. His Dad asks how many of these teenie tiny glasses did he have. The answer: 72!

    Sounds like you guys had a blast!



  2. A good list indeed, especially 4 and 5.

    Here are few humble suggestions.

    1. Itchy Privates Stout
    2. Mama’s Toe Ring Pale Ale
    3. Chicken Whistle Lager
    4. Nipple Ripple Pimple Pilsner

    Considering the names of many of the beers we tried, why not these?

  3. Greeg says:

    I heard about that tasting. Did they have beers over the 6% limit? I think that was the whole purpose, to educate the politicians on craft beer. Mississippi is now the only state in the country that has such an archaic limit on % alcohol for beer. Alabama and West Virginia recently passed legislation to increase the limit so of course MS is last again. One man stands in the way. One man prevents MS from entering the 21st century. One man holds MS back from joining the rest of civilization on this planet. One man is keeping freedom of choice away from the consumers in MS. One man. D#%&head Dean Kirby. Alexis knows of this a#*hole. He played basketball against him in college and says he was a piece of crap back then. I encourage everyone to call this morons office and let him know that you favor increasing the % alcohol limit on beer. His secretary is a B*#@% too.

    On November 13th in Hattiesburg at the Keg and Barrel, there is a homebrew competition that we will be entering. The winner gets to brew their beer at Lazy Magnolia and it will be distributed out to the public. Of course the beer has to be 6%ABV or less. Tickets can be purchased ahead of time and will allow you to enter the event and walk around and sample everybody’s homebrew. All proceeds go towards charity. Just google ‘hattiesburg keg and barrel’ and that should lead you to some information.

    Are these names patented? I may want to use some when I get a brewery started.

  4. G-Lo, thanks for checking out the TBU. I very briefly checked out your page and will go back for a longer look when I’m home.

    Greeg, no real craft beers at the show. It was pretty corporate, but the home brew group was present raising some awareness and such. I expect you to win that Hub City competition. Will be looking for a full report. And I hope everybody calls the dude who is holding up progress on this front. Or at least sends him a scathing e-mail.

  5. ZEEK says:

    Hello TB nation!!! It has been a while indeed. As I sit here at home taking a break from the oil spill due to the small storm that has us shutdown, I decided it was time to reappear. Hope ya’ll are all ok, I have been busy. I wish Lil Greeg good luck at the beer contest, and the name of the #7 beer was not lost on me. Good one TB. Who came up with that one? I would like to take the time to hijack the site and urge you all to not be fooled by the media and BP’s public stance on the current situation in the Gulf. I cannot divulge all I would like due to contractual reasons, but if Obama and the govt. (Coast Guard, DEQ, EPA, NOAA, Congress) do not put their foot on BP’s throat and MAKE them do the right thing and stay until ALL the oil is REALLY recovered, they will cut and run asap and leave taxpayers to foot the bill. Does everyone like the CHANGE so far? Yeh, hows that workin out for yall? If McCain were in office they would be tearing him apart if he handled this disaster this way. Meanwhile, his wife and daughter spend 2-3 million dollars on a VACATION to Spain. Are you kidding me? The Clintons just spent 5-6 Million on their ugly daughter’s wedding. Seriously? Really pays to be in politics,huh? I urge everone to listen to Walton and Johnson in the mornings on the radio and get the real scoop. I’m audi 5000, GO REBELS!!!

  6. Zeek, number 7 was the result of several takes on the “random beer name generator” site. And yes, when I saw “Buddha” I knew I had my winner.

    As for the oil spill, I will discuss it privately with you. I have heard some things like you are not divulging and am not happy about it. As for the rest….sigh…..take it to freestyle. We liberals do not engage in debate with hijackers.

    Glad you’re back. Thursday pickin’ right around the corner.

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