Quote of the Day:
“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. –Charles Dickens
…..SEVEN CHRISTS in Christmas.*
“Keep CHRIST in Christmas.” This, from many of the same people who send TB bogus, hate-filled chain emails, are working on their third marriage, fourth bankruptcy, fifth rehab stint and worship the heathen idol Nick Saban on the (old-school) sabbath.
Let me make a suggestion: why don’t you holy rollin’, self righteous, internet proselytizin’ hypocritical* Palinites put Christ back where he really belongs–in your own hearts. You worship your way and I’ll worship mine and we’ll talk about how we do it right and nobody else does at church on Sunday. And another thing, don’t think I don’t know that you know that I know that your really just spoutin’ off all this Christ in Christmas business to glorify, not sweet, innocent, all-powerful baby Jesus, but your own pathetic selves.
I already know what Christmas is all about and I don’t need your Facebook statuses and bumper stickers to remind me. It’s about honoring the genius of the early church in convincing fun-lovin’, hell-bent, rape and pillagin’ pagans to accept a religion of sobriety and peace***. How’d they do it? They let ’em keep the biggest party of the year for starters–yeah, Christmas–highlight of the ancient pagan social calendar. Because any historian or theologian worth a damn knows Christ wasn’t born in mid-winter, some monk with a marketing degree just made it up; though a lot of pagan-Christians were conceived that time of year to be sure. Let’s not insult the memory of our pagan ancestors by forgetting that Christmas is supposed to be the season of celebration, of partyin’, of escape and gluttony. After all, MAS is Spanish for MORE. Let’s put the MORE back in Christmas–that’s what I say!
And another thing. You think there’s a “war” on Christmas? Well, there’s not. Quit being paranoid and stupid. If there is a war about Christmas it is the war you people wage on my own idea of what it should be about, expressed beautifully above by good ol’ Chuck Dickens.
And another thing. Why so focused on putting the CHRIST in Christmas? Is one day a year all you can stomach? I’d like to see some o’you put the CHRIST back in Arbor Day. Or August. And another thing! I don’t say “Xmas” because it sounds stupid. But sometimes I write it because it writes faster. Christians have been doing that for hundreds of years because “Christ” in ancient Greek began with the letter “chi” and the closest symbol to that in the Roman alphabet is “X” and so “X” stands for Christ and because from time immemorial people’s hands have cramped up writing “Merry Christmas” on papyrus Christmas scrolls for each of the 77 people on their list. And another thing! That nativity scene outside your house is real nice, but you do realize there were no wise men present at the birth of Christ, right? They showed up about two years later, and I don’t think there’s much of a market for frankincense or myrrh these days but can you imagine what that gold would be worth now if Joseph invested it prudently? Zero, probably, but if he put it in a safety deposit box it would probably….but I digress….
Come to think of it, not many wise men around these days either. Could use a few….
…….SIX Christmas Parties, FIVE. GOLD. ADS. FOUR freakin’ stitches, THREE triple AAA’s, TWO billing errors and a Lounge in a Mall ain’t no Lounge.
*I realize this post probably insults virtually anyone who may read it, but remember friends, it is all tongue-in-cheek. TB loves me some Christmas.
**I can’t believe I went with that cliche.