Quote of the Day: “All generalizations are false, including this one.” –Mark Twain
TB’s been using the philosobaen tag since the blog started, and lately its occurred to me the credo of philosobaenism ought to be recorded. I imagine this will be a work in progress, but here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to add your own personal tenets below. Some aspects of PB’ism are original and some are not, and some are forgotten or at least stuck in the subconscious for the time being. But they are all life truths, certainties. Except for when they are wrong. Apply liberally but cautiously, as you see fit.
- Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from cryin.
- Tan fat beats white fat.
- Getting older sucks but it beats the heck out of the alternative.
- You can’t pigeonhole me.
- Don’t patronize me.
- It only takes one.
- Things emphatically do NOT always work out the way they are supposed to.
- Eat whatever the hell you want to and don’t criticize anybody else for what they choose to eat.
- 9 times out of 10, 2 lanes beats 4 lanes.
- If it outrages you, question the source. If you read it on the web, check it on Snopes. If you hear it second hand, take it with a grain of salt. Above all, figure out what questions need to be answered before you join a mob.
- Ain’t no good gonna come out of a married person being out drinkin without their spouse more than every once in awhile.
- I wanna hold on to my own damn money. And I’m just as stingy about it being taken away by corporate America multinationals as I am government.
- Most folks are doin the best they can. (This one I have trouble remembering sometimes, but it is the truth.)
- You need to know how to throw a knuckleball in case the wind’s blowin out.
- Daylight drinkin is classier then nighttime drinkin.
- The best relationships short of marriage follow the three week rule, and by no means are they mathematically capable of lasting more than six weeks (at a time.)
- If you wanna stay friends with some people you gotta overlook their faults, forgive ’em when they need it, and keep your damn mouth shut about their business, especially if you’re the type that needs a friend who will do the same for you.
- Mississippi State and Ole Miss are scared to play USM in football and its embarrassing. All those reasons not to play are just excuses.
- If work was supposed to be fun they’d have called it “fun” instead of “work.”
- Very few people who ain’t born to it will ever be admitted to the country club. But most everyone thinks they have a chance.
- If you ask, I’ll tell you what I think. Sure, I’d be better off to hold my cards a little closer to the vest, but it just ain’t my style.
- When the rules don’t make sense, but there’s no jail time for violations, break ’em.
- Ain’t nothin gay about poetry, red wine, or convertibles.
- Some things ought to piss you off. Dependin on what it was, at some point you need to get over it.
- If you’re in a conversation with someone who ain’t your asshole runnin buddy and they say something that’s damn dubious you have to make the call in a hurry rather to reply or whether to stare blankly in return. It’s almost always best to bs.
Travellinbaen 
Some of these made me laugh =p.
#4 made me laugh out loud. As expected.
#11 is entirely too true.
I’m way too over-served right now to be commenting, but one motto I live by is, “90% of what you worry about doesn’t happen.” That has helped me through many of an ordeal.
My only other motto, which I spouted off in a conversation about hand jobs, who does that anymore? “F it or S it.”
S&M out.
Sometimes a road less traveled can lead to some amazing sights….I went for a drive today, turned right instead of left. Got lost and enjoyed every minute of it.
Everything happens for a reason – very tried but very true.
When in doubt, don’t.
Always have a disclaimer statement.
I think red fat is worst fat of all. I just try to stay white.
Never miss a chance to float in the water and watch the sunset. Drink optional but highly recommended.
When you are held up somewhere, be it in line or in traffic take a deep breath and realize you probably need to slow down anyway. Which takes us back to the top, everything happens for a reason.
Of course, none of mine are as funny as yours, but they’ve gotten me through this far.
Excellent the quote of the day, TB.
Harmony, good choice—-it’s always better to go right than left.
S&M’s entry was by far the most interesting item on the list—-please visit the blog more often when overserved.
If your baby can open the refridgerator and make their own sandwich……it’s time to quit breastfeeding
It’s highly unlikely that people can change over night.
I also am intrigued by S&M’s comment
And a shout out to JLou’s #2
JL’s number two is a good one and actually belongs on my personal list because I subscribe to it. However, there is a major exception which is if you are in doubt about whether to sell a stock and lock in gains, walk away from a craps table or bet back on a working parlay, you should do it.
S&M’s comment was excellent but even more impressive was the restraint shown by those who inhabit this place. Or possibly Zeek and Smily didn’t log on today. A minor edit is reluctantly necessitated anyway.
Spent the day on the road. Interestingly, numbers 1,5,6,7,9,10,13,and 17 all came into play while I was out and about.
Caspar, cool name, please return.
Harmo–Frost, I appreciate more and more each year and another truism that belongs on my personal list.
you forgot “pullin it aint gonna help”
I still use 2 and give you credit when doing so.
I loved the S&M comment but figured it had not been policed yet so I just didn’t say a word.
Sweet – that was a major difference between you and I – when in doubt you like to hit. Oh, so wrong, so wrong. 🙂
How about always doing the opposite?
The common courtesy – so many ways to apply this one.
And last but not least, solid second.
TJ – that is a classic!
While reading this post, it hit me that I come here to read not so much because you’re my friend, but because you write what I wish I could write.
I have co-opted no. 4 for about 16 years now. No. 7 should be emblazoned on my forehead.
OK, OK, obviously me taking a break has caused some to miss my eloquence, so I shall speak.
TB, like the list and pretty much can fall in line with every one. However, on #2, once there is enough fat, it really doesn’t matter, trust me!! On #9, I have to disagree, have you ever been stuck behind an idiot and not been able to get around?? Not to mention safety issues.
Here are a few I was surprised you didn’t mention that are tried and true:
26) If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
27) Go with what brung ya.
28) A fool and his money soon part.
29) It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
30) Work smart, not hard.
31) When in doubt, hit it straight.(relates more
to golf)
32) When in doubt, lead spades (relates to
Hearts)
33) Defense wins ballgames.
34) Never worry about the fool who is always running his mouth about how big and bad he is and what he will do. More than likely he is all talk and won’t bust a grape with a sledgehammer. The one standing quietly in the corner is the one to keep your eye on.
35) The more you drink, the better she looks.
BTW, Samsmama, can I get your phone number??
I cannot believe I did not say #28, DW – my great aunt drilled that one in my head growing up.
My mom always maintained it is the quiets ones you have to watch. She was referring to my oldest sister who was quite the sneaky one.
EVERYONE IN ZEEK EVERYONE IN ZEEK PLEASE SIGN AND FORWARD!change.org/petitions/north-carolina-attorney-general-roy-a-cooper-keep-zeek-rewards-open-for-business Was this answer hfeplul?
I apologize to Zeek – it is you to which I refer to above, not the Daily Wit.
Nice additions Zeek. My list is certainly incomplete and a few of these, especially the one mentioned by TJ I can’t believe have slipped my mind over the years. They still hold sway over my daily behavior though, even if relegated to a lower plane of consciousness.
Writing about Sherlock Holmes today I was reminded of another that is part of my list lifted from “The Greek Interpreter”, and was part of a conversation about one of my top 5 favorite characters of all literature Mycroft Holmes:
To the logician all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one’s self is as much a departure from truth as to exaggerate one’s own powers.