Quote of the Day:
“Where’s the church? Who took the steeple? Religion’s in the hands of some crazy-ass people.” –Jimmy Buffett
Religion is dominating the news these days to an extent I have never seen. One in four Americans believes President Obama is a Muslim; one in three Republicans believe this. Meanwhile one in three Americans believe evolution is absolutely false. I’m guessing there’s a good bit of overlap in those numbers. Of course, there’s the increasingly hilarious “two-blocks from the edge of Ground Zero community center mosque” debate where Fox News blasted the money man behind the “TBFTEOGZCCM” on one day and then were exposed by Jon Stewart to be co-owned by the same, Fox-annointed, evil money man. Only in America. And never far from the cameras are our friends from Westboro Baptist.
I’ll say this before I go any further. I am a Christian. But I think anybody who tries to tell you they have all the answers about God, heaven, morality, etc., be it the Pope, or Franklin Graham or your best hundred friends on Facebook–they are delusional. I thought I’d look up just a sampling of the crazy in the name of God going on these days for my own, and hopefully your edification and amusement.
Name that religion and a well-known practitioner (answers in comments later):
- Practices exorcism to rid the afflicted of demonic possession.
- Uses a ritual described as “grasping a live chicken by the shoulder blades and moving around one’s head three times, symbolically transferring one’s sins to the chicken.”
- Baptism of the dead, even if they are not present, by use of a proxy live body, even in cases where the deceased’s surviving family objects.
- If you spend money in this life, it alleviates the suffering of those in the afterlife.
- Mothers should remain silent during childbirth so as to spare the child of bad memories later in life. A classic pyramid scheme and a pay by the hour approach to enlightenment are also characteristics of this group.
- This sect of a major American religion advocates taking dominion over the social and governmental functions in the US and the world. They aim to infiltrate and control other Christian religions in what they term a spiritual Civil War.
- These people believe a lost tribe of Jews ended up in ancient America and were visited by Jesus. They reject scientific genetic proof that native Americans arrived from Asia, instead keeping the faith in a 14 year old’s find and translation of gold plates on a hillside in 1820.
- This group believes one may vocalize fluent, unintelligible utterances or articulate an alleged natural language previously unknown to themselves.
- Though often believers in the literal interpretation of the Bible, in a language it was not written in, and in spite of teaching the miracle of Jesus turning water into wine, among other instances of consumption, this group is adamant that drinking any alcohol is a sin, and stands in the way of craft beers’ presence in Mississippi.
- “Be excellent to each other.” A sentiment first uttered in the 1980’s by two innocent prophets. No major world religion has yet accepted this radical tenet.
Now excuse me while I go off and stare blankly into space for awhile. Maybe I’ll get some answers. Shalom and amen.
Check out the Jon Stewart video I referenced on my twitter feed to your right, titled, “The Parent Company Trap”.
And here’s my favorite looney church in the land, Westboro Baptist, taking questions from the media. One last thought….wasn’t it the Romans who killed Christ? Literally, I mean.