Questions That Keep Me Up at Night (the lesser list)

Quote of the Day:     The Answer to the Great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything…Is…Forty-two.”     –Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

The mind of TB is seldom at rest. This doesn’t mean it is necessarily doing great things mind you. It just wanders around, pokes its nose into places it doesn’t belong and generally makes an amusing and harmless nuisance of itself until it is given a specific task on which to grind its gradually rusting gears. Sometimes when the old noggin can’t find anywhere to wander off to and when there is no special job at hand, it just picks a song out of its infinite collection of tunes we’ve been exposed to over the years and begins blaring it into my consciousness in a continuous, sanity threatening loop. Almost never does the brain pick what I like to call “good tunes.” Nah, we’re talking grammar school classics like “Goodbye, Old Paint” and “My Darlin Clemintine.” Or Disco standards like “Stayin Alive” or “Ring My Bell”–that second one is my little sister’s fault dating back to the record player years. Or “So-long and Thanks for All the Fish” from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Or songs from The Baptist Hymnal–not the good ones either, like “How Great Thou Art” or “Victory in Jesus”, but simple ones more suited for looping like “Jesus Loves the Little Children.” I don’t know why my brain does this to me. I’d like an answer to that question.

And if Jesus does love the little children, red, yellow, black and white, why did he put all these Indians over here in the western hemisphere while Jesus stayed in the Middle East and there was no internet to spread the news about him? Did the little red children for 10,000 years have another way to heaven or are they screwed? As God is all-knowing and all-encompassing I’m sure he foresaw this problem and addressed it, but how?

And did the rule makers in baseball way back in the good ol days foresee the need for the infield fly rule before they started playing games or was some evil genius out there letting pop-ups drop and then turning double plays on runners who stayed close to their bag on the easy out?

And after the atomic bomb was dropped it is easy to imagine the personal, internal moral questions faced by the inventors of such a powerful force, but was the first maker of alarm clocks likewise afflicted by the knowledge of the pain he was inflicting upon the world? I think he should have been.

And, as strong in the Force as were Yoda and Obi-wan, why didn’t they have enough common sense to gang up on Vader and the Emperor instead of trying to go one on one with them? And after they failed, they still could’ve tag teamed the Sith Lords but instead decided the better way to conquer the Emperor was to wait eighteen years for a farm boy to come of age?

And how do lords of cults like the Branch Davidians and Heavens Gate and Peoples Temple get their ideas? Do they just wake up one morning and say “I’ve been putting this off long enough. Time to go get me some crazy-ass followers.”?

And what ever happened to Living Colour? And what was up with that extra vowel? Were they Brits? And why can’t I think of the name of that song I can’t get out of my head today?

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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12 Responses to Questions That Keep Me Up at Night (the lesser list)

  1. Jessie Lou says:

    The two worst song loops ever to go around in my head were “Delta Dawn” and “John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith” which my sister would sing to me on purpose to drive me crazy. Then there is “We’re off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz”. These days I’ll find myself singing something that I have no idea where it came from only to figure out it is because Kelli Scott is singing it in the other room and I’ve subconsciously joined her. And I digress….

    I am guessing that Jesus was hoping that the Pilgrims had read the Great Commission in Matthew 28 where we are all to go out and spread the word. It would have been their job to speak to the Indians about Jesus. Don’t you wonder what happens to the Jews if the only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ? Surely since the Jews were the “Chosen Ones” there is a special plan for them, besides the fact that Jesus was a Jew.

    Crazy has to start one day at one particular minute so I’m sure after years of low self-esteem those rulers of the cults DO just get up one day and set out to conquer and brainwash some other poor lesser self-esteemed person. I wonder why the members do not get out when the Kool Aid is being passed out? Impending self inflicted Death is a sure sign that something just ain’t right.

    I suspect Living Colour were either British or just trying to get themselves talked about by setting their name apart. I purchased the paperback version of “The Da Vinci Code” while I was visiting Irvine Redd in the UK and the different spellings were all over the place – quite amusing at how the brain looks at those things.

  2. face says:

    The worst songs to get stuck in your head are the theme songs to children’s shows like Dora, Little Einsteins, or my personal nemesis, Wow Wow Wubbzy.

  3. Zeek says:

    TB- Are you talking about “Cult of Personality” or are we talking about two different Living Colours??”

  4. Yes, that’s the tune.

  5. I’m sure that this will work for no one else, but I thought I’d throw it out there. I finally found the cure for the nagging song loop. Whenever I find myself singing “Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water” or “This Land Is My Land,” I immediately inject Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell.” It always works and Rebel Yell doesn’t stick in my mind. Call it the curative effect of Billy Idol and Stevie Stevens (the guitar player).

    Jesus, Indians, and redemption: I could write a book on this one. My short answer/opinion: they get in.

    Just 2 days ago, I wondered aloud about the days before the infield fly rule. What a coincidence.

  6. smilyj says:

    There’s nothing wrong with singing “Bridge over Troubled Water”, Elvis version. Sing away.

  7. Jessie Lou says:

    Just because it doesn’t nag you Smilyj, doesn’t mean it doesn’t nag the DW. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

  8. bwbuzz says:

    do not forget about mace windu, he would have done the job himself, if not for some timely interference. speaking of old hymns, how about He Lives, that one will stick in your head.

  9. BW Buzz you’re right about Mace. Of course, he hesitated too. He should’ve gone on and taken care of business instead of piddlin around.

  10. quail09 says:

    The one that sticks in my head is: “Can’t ya see….can’t ya see…what that woman….she been doin to me”….Marshall Tucker Band

  11. Zeek says:

    Quail- Luv me some MTB, baby!!

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