Quote of the Day: —“The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it does not know what to do with genius.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes
According to a source who must remain anonymous, we’ll call him anono-baen, TB has emerged as a finalist for the Supreme Court position being vacated by Justice Souter. The following interview, an idea semi-stolen inspired by a recent Daily Wit post, was conducted over the weekend at TB’s home in Ridgeland, MS. If at some point the conversation seems to lose its focus please be aware that while both asking and answering the questions, TB was concurrently trying to keep up with Leatherheads the latest uh, developments in the legal world, studious and dextrous, as usual.
Bloggin-baen–So TB, this might be a little awkward, but hey, its a big scoop so I can work with you if you can work with me.
Nominee-baen–Well, self, workin with me isn’t so bad, but sometimes I do find it hard to live with myself.
BB–Let’s get to the important questions. You’ve put the word out The word is out that you are a good bet to be President Obama’s nominee for the Supreme Court opening. Can you confirm or deny this rumor?
NB–Let me put it this way. If the rumors are true, it would showcase the judgment, character and political acumen of the President and his staff. In spite of that, I would be an excellent Justice.
BB–Even though a Justice’s position on abortion is one of the least important indicators, make that a completely irrelevant indicator, of a candidate’s potential as a jurist, we have seen through the years that to many it is a litmus test. Can you pass such a test?
NB–I have always been a good test taker. Except in law school. But I can never remember if the litmus turns red or blue. Besides, I’m color blind, which parenthetically is a condition that can serve you well in charming the ladies. This one time…
BB–Excuse me–Why don’t you just tell us how you feel about abortion?
NB–(chuckling heartily) Hahahahahahahaha
BB–You do realize that might be offensive to some?
NB–Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t listening. Clooney just got punched out by that guy from The Office. I never saw that coming.
BB–You never saw that coming yet you think you are qualified to sit on the highest court in the land?
NB–(blank stare) <you knew that was coming>
BB–Let’s move on. How would you describe your judicial temperament?
NB and BB together–98.6 degrees. High Five!
BB–Well, I’m satisfied. And I think it should be clear to anyone reading the transcript of our conversation that you are a natural for handling the kind of inanity back and forth necessary for surviving the judicial committee hearings. But the issue of filibuster is ever present. We can assume the Democrats will largely support anyone President Obama nominates. Arlen Specter for instance has already talked about how if he was willing to support Clarence Thomas that should show everyone how little he gives a damn who sits on the Court after all. But how about the Republicans? You’ve gone on record with some pretty harsh criticism of them over the last year.
NB–It only takes one, baby. Or I could send over male prostitutes pages to all their offices. The results of that should yield at least ten votes in exchange for my legendary, um, discretion.
BB–That’s pretty low NB. And I must say, out of character for you.
NB–Dude, its a life time job. And think of the money I’ll save on work clothes.
BB–Good point. Do what you gotta do, man. It sounds like you’ve got all the bases covered. Is there anything that could possibly derail your nomination.
NB–Yes, one thing. If it got out I think it could really damage my credibility.
BB–(leaning in, hushed tone) It’s just between you and me.
NB–Sometimes I talk to myself.
BB–Aw, hell, I do that too. You’re a shoo-in.
Bonus Quote of the Day: –“The world’s great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.” –Oliver Wendell Holmes
What’s cool about this is that during oral argument, after everything said by counsel, you can say, “That’s what you say.” And they have to take you seriously.
“Uh, yes, Justicebaen. That’s what I say. We believe the plaintiff doesn’t have standing.”
“That’s what you say.”
“Um, exactly, we … (looks at other justices pleading for help.)
I’d love that job.
I’ve been so focused on getting the job I haven’t even thought about what I’d do with it once I had it. (Not the first time I’ve found myself in such a predicament.)
It seems like it may be a good idea to promote the blog on that stage by using some of my recurring themes, such as–
Counsel, that’s a damn dubious argument.
Let’s have a conversation on that point.
staring blankly at Scalia until he snaps
referring to the rest of the Court in my opinions as “my ARB’s” instead of “my brethren” or “esteemed colleagues”
All good stuff. And that’s not counting your ability to key on certain words and launch into great movie quotes.
“We don’t feel defendant’s argument is germane–”
“The GD Germans got nothin’ to do with it!”
You have a lifetime appointment. Who cares if no one else knows what the hell’s going on?
No, No, No. I Strongly object!!
In light of the fact that Harry Read said he thought it would be a good idea to put a non-lawyer on the supreme court this morning on The Today Show and your admittance to doing poorly on lawschool tests, I think you would be an ideal pick – a compromise if you will. The fact that you talk to yourself only shows a willingness to reason things out and argue the facts even when you cannot find another soul to do it with – that is a great case of perserverance! As far as I know you have never employed a legal alien so you should be a shoe in at confirmation hearings. Lastly, you would need a strong willed independent female to come to work for you with experience in getting lawyers who often get off track back in line. I hereby apply for that position.
And that would be me above – Jessie Lou – although I would think you would have known that by reading the comment.
TB, you hire aliens?? What planet are they from?? What do they look like?? Are the females hot?? You’ve got to get back to me!!