A Conversation About the U.S-Chinese Navy Encounter Earlier Today

Quote of the Day:     

The Geek: You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile. 
Samantha: Go to hell. 
The Geek: VERY hostile. 

Sixteen Candles

Click here for Link to News Report

It seems there was an awkward encounter earlier today between the United States and Chinese Navies. The article I read is linked above. You are going to have to read it to understand the conversation that follows, or at least be familiar with the story from another outlet. What follows is a transcript of the top secret high level diplomatic exchange between the two nations that occurred earlier this evening. TB has many sources. The delicate discussion revealed a few new details not previously released to the mainstream media.

American Diplomat, identified only by his code name, Midnight Cowboy–Good Day, sir. I think we ought to talk about what happened.

Chinese Diplomat, using his real name, Long Duk Dong–Must we? You Cowboys….ever since Brokeback we have to “talk” every time there’s an “incident” between us.

MC–Listen, Dick…


MC–Whatever. I was going to say you can’t just approach us whenever you want and demand our attention. 

LDD–Hold on a minute Brokeback, it was your ship that was sniffing around our back door.

MC–Are you insinuating WE were harassing YOU?

LDD–I’m saying you weren’t exactly trying to be discrete, leaving that thing dangling from your stern. That was designed to attract our attention, admit it.

MC–No sir, limp duk. What your Navy did to ours was naked aggression!

LDD–Is that what you are calling it these days? No matter our behavior, it was premature for you to discharge your cannon on our vessel!

MC–I have to concede one point here Wang Chung. There is no excuse for our seaman getting your crew all wet. Its just that when they saw all those young men disrobe our gun captains were following the usual protocol by manning and raising their units. These young boys sometimes can’t hold their fire.

LDD–Your candor pleases me. I will in turn take responsibility for our overeagerness. We must remember that the U.S. is charged with lavishing its attention on all manner of enemies and rivals and that its not always just about us.

MC–So we can just act like this never happened?

LDD–I think that is for the best. But might I suggest, next time do not escalate the situation by allowing your men to moon ours as we slip away. It is important in our culture to save face.


MC–<Blank Stare>

LDD–<Blank Stare>

Bonus Quote of the Day:    

The Geek: Just answer me one question. 
Samantha: Yes, you’re a total fag. 
The Geek: Ha ha ha. That’s not the question. 

     –Sixteen Candles

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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9 Responses to A Conversation About the U.S-Chinese Navy Encounter Earlier Today

  1. workinbaen says:

    Let me just say before all the Smily jokes start, that you’re not gonna get hard hitting satire and cross references to Sixteen Candles and Naval incidents just anywhere.

  2. Jessie Lou says:

    Sixteen Candles is one of my all time favorite movies so I love this. I can sympathize with Molly Ringwald, only she was much cuter than me. I had a geek actually chase me and his last name was Warlick of all things. The Donger Rules!

  3. RockStarRambler says:

    Samantha: This is the single worst day of my entire life.

    Mike: What the hell are you bitchin’ about? I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck’s dork.

  4. Madd Dawg says:

    I did not know that sweet’s last name was Warlick.

  5. sweet says:

    I used a number of aliases for dinner reservations but I don’t remember Warlick being one of them

  6. Zeek says:

    “Do you know what birth control pills can do to a guy my age?”

    “AUtomobile? Automobile?”

    John Hughes was the man.

  7. Jessie Lou says:

    Ah MD I thought you could count better than that! Or in a more complentary world did you think I was that much younger? Sweet was a mere boy of 8/9 when I was in high school so it is mathematically impossible for him to have chased me around the PHS cafeteria. In fact, I think it is pretty safe to say that he was never inclined to chase me anywhere! Even when going by the name of Bond, James Bond.

  8. Zeek says:

    I don’t know JLou, I was only 8 & 9 when Mary Terrel Evans and Paige Plumley used to baby-sit me and we had some wild times, I mean headline news- jail term stuff nowadays. So, maybe this all goes back farther than suspected.

    Please feel free to check out some of Buddha’s wisdom on Zen of Elle thread.

  9. Anonymous says:

    You I have memories of at 8 or 9 at PHS and at church. Believe or not, I don’t recall you misbehaving – take the gold star where you can. I did not babysit if I could ever possibly help it.

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