If I Had a Million Dollars

Quote of the Day     “If I had a million dollars, I’d buy you a green dress; but not a real green dress, that’s cruel.”     Barenaked Ladies

TB thought it would be a good idea to lighten the mood a bit heading in to tomorrow’s pickem post. Plenty of politics are down below if you’re up for the discussion. But in today’s hard economic times, I love to play the “what would I do with a million bucks game.” Here are the rules–none of it is taxed, none of it can be saved or invested, and none of it can go to charity, friends or family, TB excluded. Your job is secure, and you don’t have to work until the money is gone. You’ve got one year, spend away. Here’s my budget:

  1. Buy that convertible I’ve been waiting for all these years. About 60 grand will get me all I want and more. That leaves 940K.
  2. Tahiti, Bora Bora, Raratunga, and whatever other little Pacific Islands I can find. RMac might be able to help me choose. This I’m doing first class all the way–100K sounds right, leaving 840.
  3. I gotta go skiing. A lot. One trip to Steamboat for the January Music Festival that CCR and REK always play, a trip to Whistler, one in the Alps and one down in South America. No need to go overboard on these, but I’ll spend about 10K on each trip, leaving me with 800.
  4. When I get to South America, I’ll stay awhile. I’ll rent a villa, hire a consigliere to get me around and teach me the language and I’ll see Macchu Pichu at dawn. I don’t know how American currency is holding up down South, but I figure 100K would do the trick, so I’ve still got 700. It occurs to me at this point that having a million bucks to spend would be even sweeter than I first thought.
  5. I’ve always wanted to drive cross country, so in mid-spring I’ll hop in the convertible and go. First west until I have to stop, then up the Pacific Coast Highway to the border, then across the northern mountains, the Great Plains and eventually to Maine. By then I’ll be sick of the car so I’ll get someone to drive it back to Mississippi and I’ll hop on a plane. Fifty grand ought to be plenty for what I have in mind, so I’m down to 650 and I’ve already done most of my travel fantasies–but not all.
  6. It’s time to cruise to the Galapagos and see what all the fuss is about. Ten thousand will be plenty, and that will take care of my immediate travel wishes, with 640 burning a whole in my pocket.
  7. I want a high def TV and I keep putting it off. So I’ll get 4. Big ones. And pay somebody to come hang them on the walls and make them work. Five more grand spent and 635 to go.
  8. I really need a wheelbarrow to help me get the yard cleaned up. I think I’ll add a team of Mexican laborers to actually clean it. But I get to keep the wheelbarrow (pronounced wheelbarrel). That should set me back a C-note, so its now $634,900.00.
  9. Jimmy Buffett plays a concert in Ridgeland. I’d like to make it free and invite the public, but that would smack of philanthropy, so it’ll just have to be in my back yard with a few invited guests. Jimmy’s gettin old. I ought to be able to make this happen for under a 100.
  10. When you have a million and you are from Pascagoula there is one thing about which you have no choice. You gotta buy a boat. A big one. That’s where the rest of the money goes, save a bit for fishing gear and a couple of cases of beer. The rest of you Goula boys (and girls), I’ll see y’all out at Horn Island once you get your boats picked out.

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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14 Responses to If I Had a Million Dollars

  1. Jessie Lou says:

    Like you I think most of mine would be spent on travel. I doubt that I could put it down in dollars as you have but here is a pared down list.

    1. I would go home to the Cayman Islands and set up an estate that my family and I could visit anytime we wanted. I would buy a yacht that I would leave there, thus necessitating (sp) the need for a property and boat man to keep things in line while we were gone.

    2. I would go to New York or some bigger city and buy good clothes. I haven’t really shopped well since Katrina decided she needed some hand me downs. This would include the necessary clothes for the new estate in Grand Cayman and all trips forthcoming.

    3. Yes, a bigger boat would be in order with room to sleep more people. I’ve got a captain already but a cute, young boat boy to keep the boat ready, clean and available to wait on us hand and foot would be nice as well. I may want a bigger Avon to go onboard than what I presently have, but that would be minor.

    4. A cruise through the South Pacific including the Melanesian and Polynesian Islands.

    5. A trip to Paris and Rome. I would also want to visit my cousin in Italy and experience things on a more local level off the beaten path.

    See you at Horn – the sunset there was awesome last weekend.

  2. Here’s another way you could spend that cool million:

    Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
    Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
    Peter Gibbons: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
    Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
    Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
    Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
    Peter Gibbons: Good point.

    Office Space is a great movie.

  3. OB says:

    Hey, You want some Mexican laborers? I’ll send you my yard men! It don’t take no stinkin million dollars for those guys. I pay those guys $25 per week and there’s a group of three. I think that’s what I used to charge back in the 80’s. They even bring their own wheelbarrow, mowers, and weed-eaters.

    During the spring I have them come out and clean the gutters, trim the hedges, mulch the flower beds, prune the oaks, and picks weeds for $300. They spend all day and are some of the friendliest people I have ever met. I just wish I understood what they were saying behind my back!

  4. Yeah, a hundred bucks for the laborers is a little high, but hey, I’ve got a million burnin a hole in my pocket and I was feeling generous. And once my man in Paraguay teaches me the language, at least the cuss words, I’ll be able to find out what they are saying about me.

  5. ZEEK says:

    I think JLou heard 10 Million Dollars, her first choice would be over one million. Like the way she thinks though.

  6. Stone says:

    1. Pay off all debt;
    2. Be a little bit closer to retirement.
    3. After a few more years, sell house and buy another house in remote location.
    4. reinstitute once a year family vacation

  7. Ok, I can handle your politics Stone, but this comment just pisses me off. Except for the part about the remote location. One day the “compound” will become a reality.

  8. Jessie Lou says:

    Zeek – I should get points for being liberal with the cash! Anyone who knows me well knows that I have severe troubles letting go of money. What I would really do with 1 million dollars is hide it and save it for a rainy day. That would really be more my speed. It makes me smile to know I have cold, hard cash somewhere that no one but me knows about. In fact, I’m smiling now……..

  9. Stone says:

    Pisses you off????

    A million is not enough for me to formulate a dream spending spree.

    Here is my reasoning. I can count on getting 6% return on that 1 million bucks in a secure fixed income investment. If my math is correct, and it rarely is, that will convert into $60,000.00 a year in income. I am assuming that the 1 million is tax free.

    I have done the math and I need about 2.25 million to leave the workforce and maintain a good lifestyle. The .25 pays off house and cars. The 2 million creates 120K a year in income.

    The list is an accurate answer. Make it 15 million and, if all readers are sworn to secrecy, I might go into the details of compound design and selection of people worthy of living within the confines.

    Despite your shifting politics, you are still welcome in the compound.

  10. TJ says:

    actually you’ll pay 50% of that 120 to the govt. for unearned income, so its only 60, and that aint easy to live off of. Baen make it the west tip of Horn and I’ll meet you there, with beer in hand.

  11. Stone says:

    I can get 5% on tax free municipal bonds. Not always easy to find at that rate but could be done over time. That is the equivalent of 8%. So I could clear 100K a year and pay the US and MS nothing at all.

    With no debt. That would be just fine.

  12. Madd Dawg says:

    Eminem: “if I had a million dollars, I’d buy a brewery and turn the world into alcoholics.” I guess everyone has a dream.

    For the record, he has earned well over a million dollars and, to the best of my knowledge, has not purchased a brewery.

  13. Smilyj says:

    Get a big piece of land. Build some cabins, pools, volleyball courts and bars. Small ones. Open it to anyone for naked recreation. !00% nekkid, !00% of the time.

  14. Madd Dawg says:

    and from what I have heard about you sEan, it would be no women allowed.

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