Travellinbaen’s Political Consulting Service (spreading the acorns edition)

Quote of the Day     “My attitude is that if the economy’s good for folks from the bottom up, it’s gonna be good for everybody. If you’ve got a plumbing business, you’re gonna be better off if you’ve got a whole bunch of customers who can afford to hire you, and right now everybody’s so pinched that business is bad for everybody and I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”     –Barack Obama to Joe the Plumber

Only one more week to go before the Presidential election and it seems we’re down to just a few talking points. For Obama, its “vote for me or get four more years of Bush.” And for McCain, it’s “Obama wants to spread the wealth”, “ACORN” sux, and “Joe the Plumber knows as much about the economy as me and that diva backstabbing bitch Sarah.”  I don’t think the Obama campaign really needs Travellinbaen’s advice. In a year that saw possibly the worst campaigns in history run by Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giulliani, only to be topped by the McCain debacle, I think they’ve been magnificent. (Yes, I’ve mentally chalked it up, and yes, I realize how “the Power” might react.) But I’ll advise them anyway. As for McCain, I don’t even know where to start–maybe get a time machine and go back to 2000 to remember who you really are, then jump back ahead to August 2008. Short of that, hell maybe your race baiting will carry the day. Anyway, I’m ignoring plumberjoe because I don’t think people are falling for that gimmick, but here’s TB’s easy solutions to the ACORN and Wealth Spreading issues.

It seems ACORN pays the otherwise unemployable contractors to go around signing people up to vote. These folks get paid for each registration form they submit. It is apparently difficult to get strangers to write down their personal information and hand it back to you, so these guys just go find a phone book and start copying names. The more enterprising contractors have found that by watching football and cartoons you can kill two birds with one stone–enjoy some quality entertainment and get ideas for names to write in to registration forms. Unfortunately, this freaks some people out. I did not know this, but apparantly the USA has been plagued for many years by people electing liberals by voting numerous times under such names as Mickey Mouse, Roger Staubach and Smily, without ever being suspected of such perfidy by our crack poll volunteer staffs. It’s a real problem, and once again, TB’s PCS has a simple solution. Outlaw voter registration altogether. Seriously. If you are a citizen of the United States, you vote and your social security number is noted in some great computer in a bunker in Nebraska and you can’t vote again. It’s done. What’s the point of registration anyway? We all ostensibly believe in democracy and we all ostensibly want voter turnout to be high. So just make everybody eligible. I’ll take it one step further, let them vote online and do it anytime within a couple of weeks of the election. This should be especially popular with conservatives because it will obviate the raison d’etre of ACORN (blank stare–French thrown in just to offend the freedom fry crowd).

As for spreading the wealth, TB doesn’t understand the uproar mild public discourse this issue has caused. All politics is about spreading the wealth. Generally liberals want it spread more evenly, like a peanut butter sandwich that is tasty from first to last bite, while conservatives want all their peanut butter straight off the spoon so it doesn’t get sullied by the proletariat favoring white bread. Obama campaign, you need your pithy talking point. TB’s peanut butter sandwich is all made up and ready for you to savor. Warn the people that if you eat all that peanut butter straight off the spoon, its hard to swallow and they will probably have to bail out their mouth with a big jug of milk that’s liable to spill everywhere when you rush to prevent yourself from choking. You could even offer a bite your sensible tasty sandwich to Joe the idiot plumber out on the campaign trail. Maybe then he’d understand what you’re advocating….that what this whole campaign really boils down to how you like your peanut butter.


About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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4 Responses to Travellinbaen’s Political Consulting Service (spreading the acorns edition)

  1. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  2. Stone says:

    In the days of mail in ballots, the false registrations are very disturbing.

    As for the election, I do not think the outcome will impact basic economic policy much. If Obama raises taxes in the middle of a recession the dems will be done in the midterm elections and Obama will be one and done. If he does not, he won’t be able to afford to do much of anything. People with money need to be spending it right now and everyone I know is getting real cheap.

    I agree with Biden, Obama will be tested in the first 6 months of his presidency and this may very well involve conflict with Iran. If Russia decides to annex Ukraine at the same time, Obama’s first term will make him wish he lost the election. Russia wants to weaken the US and they do not care how brilliant, well educated, and well intentioned Obama is. They are rebuilding an empire and will make some huge moves if they think they can get away with it. Does anyone believe that a newly elected President Obama would take strong action against Russia?

    All of this is going to make for a very stressful next few years. I am not saying it would be that much easier with McCain. It would be a rough ride regardless.

  3. On your first paragraph, voter fraud would be disturbing. Use my suggestion and its greatly reduced. The technology exists to implement a one person one vote mechanism without the 19th century techniques currently in place. And it shouldn’t be too hard to get the dead people off the roles.

    I don’t think tax policy will be Obama’s downfall if he only does what he’s proposed. I agree Russia, Iran, and above all the potential worsening of our economy have a chance to be all consuming. I personally would rather have a highly intelligent, intellectual type in the hot seat during this time. A post for another day, but I’m sick and tired of our country’s collective disdain for deep thought and well considered analysis. Briefly, why it matters, is who the President surrounds himself with. The Executive is far greater than just the President. Diplomats, Generals, Lawyers and Bureaucrats make most of the day to day decisions in our government and we’ve endured too many years of political hacks controlling those positions. Based on who he’s relied upon in his campaign, I’m very hopeful Obama will continue to surround himself with a high level of competence. Just one example–Obama financial advisor–Warren Buffett; McCain financial advisor–Phil Gramm.

    As for taking on an aggressive Russia, it doesn’t matter who the President is. Our military is already overextended. We are without capability to engage in a large scale ground war. Our Navy and Air power are still a big stick, but our negotiating position is substantially weakened by our Iraq War. It could be a real problem, I agree, but I think no less for one candidate than the other.

  4. Stone says:

    I think you are dead wrong on taxes. He can not do what he says he will do unless he is a fool (I pray that he is not). You can not raise taxes during a recession. You need people spending, the bigger the purchases the better. Tax families making over 250K and you will clamp down on spending and destroy a housing market that is trying to recover.

    He needs to cut taxes for people that can afford to spend (people making 150-300K) He will not do that but he better not raise taxes.

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