Luck and Logic

Quote of the Day:

We talked into the night. The kind of talk that seemed important until you discover girls.” –the writer, Stand By Me

The two boys laid flat on the roof and stared up at the endless black sky. They had climbed up here not to stare at the sky, nor for any particular reason other than that it was here. One was a year older than the other, and a year taller. He wore an old Cincinnati Reds cap his brother had lost interest in several years back. The C was well and proudly battle-stained from the red dirt of every ball field within bike range. The smaller boy was chewing on a long strand of grass. It was a habit he’d picked up in anticipation of one day sticking in a dip, but he wasn’t mentally there yet. After all, it would probably be a sin, which wasn’t such a big deal in itself, but it might be a little more of a sin than he was comfortable about committing just yet. At once their eyes darted reflexively across the sky, though their heads scarcely twitched.

“Did you see that?” the older boy asked.

“Yep. That was a shooting star wasn’t it!”

“Sure looked like one to me. Did you make a wish?”

The scrawny one sat up and took the grass from his teeth, not even trying to hide his excitement.  “Hell yeah, same one you did, probably.”

“Well tell me what I wished then.”

“You crazy? It won’t come true if I do.”

The big kid couldn’t argue with that logic so he let it go without debate for a change. “Good point. It’s all just superstition anyway.”

“Can’t hurt though.”

They were quiet again for a while. The little southpaw kept searching the sky for another meteor while his wizened old pal sat up and looked down at the pitcher’s mound in front of them. The season would start soon and he would dominate. He had to dominate. But there wouldn’t be any state championships at the end of the season. They’d never even made it out of District.

“I sure would like to get my name on one of those boards down there.” The big kid rolled his eyes and his optimistic friend who couldn’t see them and didn’t turn to look in the first place felt the look burn into his head and laughed. The five boards hanging on the press box façade beneath them bore the names in scripted red, white and blue of the gallant few who’d come before and who brought home state titles for not only Gibson Field but for the whole town.

“Come on, we better climb down before we get caught. Did you find anything?”

Lefty always had better eyes for picking out lost golf balls in the ditch, or finding rusty pocketknives in the weeds, or spying stranded foul balls atop the press box that could only be retrieved in the dead of night. He grinned ear to ear. “Got two, pearly white!”

“Give me one.”

“Screw you too. Finder’s keepers.”

No arguing with that logic either, so the bigger kid dug his toe into the chain link fence and headed back down to Earth.

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This is the first part of a story I’m working on. Hope you like it. I’d let you see the rest but I haven’t settled on the rest yet. But the story is/will be drawn from conversations I recall from ages 10-12 or so, plus some stuff I made up. And if I can ever get the 15 stories I’ve got outlined finished and refined I’m going to put it in some sort of binding and call it my book. Then maybe I can get on with my life.

Oh, ps, I haven’t named this yet. That name at the top sucks, but it is the best I can do for now.

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Ducklings

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The Kiss

Quote of the Day:

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.”     –Joseph Addison, English essayist

TB’s Little Scamp. The apple of my eye, light of my life. Sweeter than Tupelo honey. Pure innocence. She thinks I can do no wrong, can cure any ill, fix any problem, drive a really long ways. Last of the truly politically independent thinkers. Book lover. Pre-materialistic. Green. A sensible eater. Reveler in the smallest of blessings. Hope for the future. Train and ladybug aficionado. Loves her friends unconditionally, as well her Grandparents, cousins, mother and her doting father. Constantly learning new things, words like booger for instance, and that’s hardly all. Wants to be tickled, within reason. I love to catch her as she walks by, unsuspecting as always, and snatch her up in a flourish, finishing with the big wet kiss that always draws a hug and a laugh. And then suddenly, yesterday,

“YUCK!”

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The TBU’s Mid-Life Big Bang

Quote of the Day:

We change whether we like it or not.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

TB just attempted to set up a message board as an adjunct to the TBU. Go check it out. Depending on how it goes over the next few weeks, I’d like it to be a replacement for Freestyle. We’ll see.

www.TBU.yuku.com

You will have to set up an account there to post. FYI, I’ve had an account there for years with another website and have had no trouble with spam or privacy or anything else.

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BP Marketing (via The Daily Wit)

Since my post today is generating so much buzz in the TBU, I thought we should enjoy TDW’s from a week ago. It’s in a similar vein. I’ll be adding to his list too.

I recently landed a job in the marketing department of BP. It seems the recent Gulf oil spill debacle has caused all the talented people to leave. I'm not very good at this marketing stuff, but we get free doughnuts for breakfast, so, you know. Here are some slogans I'm working on presently. 1. BP (to marine life): Oil. It's what's for dinner. 2. At BP we're knocking out the middle man and bringing the oil direct to you! 3. BP: Providing inspirat … Read More

via The Daily Wit

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Good News/Bad News, From Our Friends at BP

Quote of the Day:

The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those who have not got it.  – George Bernard Shaw

First of all, let me say that the first five of these are stolen from a friend; they are also the funniest. I thought they were worth passing along in addition to my own contributions. Feel free to add to the list:

Good news, Bad News from our Friends at British Petroleum-

  1. Mermaids are real! But they are now extinct.
  2. Fish from the Gulf of Mexico are more oil rich than those from any other place in the world. But it’s not Omega 3.
  3. So far, only tar balls have washed up on most beaches. Unfortunately tar wieners are on the way.
  4. The company just hired an oil whisperer to talk to the oil in hopes of taming it. His name is Glenn Beck.
  5. Dozens of new family beach activities have been developed by the PR department. Among the best are “Count the Dead Birds”, “Smack the Greasy Manatee” and “Mommy I Got Crude Oil in My Eye!”
  6. An internal company expert panel has determined the spill will have no negative impact whatsoever on the children of the Gulf Coast. So long as they are born after April 30, 2107.
  7. Company environmentalists have made a major breakthrough in communicating with dolphins. A preliminary translation gave great hope that we had much in common with the species as it was thought the dolphins were saying “Holy crap, the freakin’ ipod is killer!”  After further review the final translation turned out to be “holy crap, you freakin’ killed my whole pod!
  8. Black is the new brown. Pelicans can’t fly or breathe any more.
  9. The oil industry has a history of paying all legitimate claims and staying involved with cleaning up their messes until everything is restored to a pristine condition. Oh wait, no they don’t.
  10. Sandra Bullock is back! The oil spill is now ten times worse than the Exxon Valdez and growing.
  11. Condos in Orange Beach are going to be really cheap this summer. But you probably shouldn’t strike a match.
  12. Louisiana and Mississippi are not the only places that produce shrimp. We can’t understand why this didn’t make everyone feel much better.
  13. The CEO of BP’s life has been utterly ruined by the disaster. He’ll still make more money next quarter than most of us will in our lives.
  14. In a sideways universe BP is a force for good. An ethical, honest company that contributes to the economic, environmental and social well-being of the entire world. Sadly, sideways universes are fictional. (caveat, if they are real, BP probably still sucks.)
  15. We never thought we’d see the likes of Katrina. We never thought we’d see a spill like this. The odds of both occurring in one decade were remote, but this is probably as bad as it can get. The odds are just astronomical of another similar calamity happening. Then again, bad things come in threes.
  16. BP is firing 147 people connected with the company’s negligence. The have all been hired by Exxon.
  17. The board of directors has allocated a billion dollars to pay preliminary financial awards to all legitimate claimants. They have determined that Tony Hayward has the only “legitimate” claim for damages.
  18. The chemical oil dispersants are successfully breaking up the oil. They are also creating a race of mutant laser wielding jellyfish bent on world domination.
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Rock and Roll Memphis Saturday Nights

Quote of the Day:

I have a lot of opinions and I just want you to know you don’t have to agree with ’em and I ain’t even tryin’ to really change anybody’s mind it’s just that I have a lot opinions and you’ll probably hear a lot of ’em tonight and it ain’t even because I think I’m that smart it’s just that they rhyme.”

paraphrasing one of Todd Snider’s jokes that he uses in his show

The good ‘ol days are now, no matter when you happen to be ruminatin’ on such matters. At least, that’s how I see the evidence tiltin’  most of the time. But I truly believe one of the things we’ve lost in the modern age is a sense of community. I don’t lay that at anybody’s feet. It seems to me there are just so damn many of us now that we view one another as simply another obstacle or threat to our daily routine. I doubt the ratio of bad people has increased any ever since the days when Cain made it one bad apple out of four; in fact, I think we’ve evolved and lessened that percentage considerably. It’s just that there are so damn many of us, so even if the percentage of villains is down, their sheer numbers are ever-increasing.

That’s why being part of a community beyond our immediate friends and family is so satisfying when it happens. I attribute the popularity of blogs to this, as well as the fanaticism with which some of us identify with our favorite sporting teams. But even those avenues to satisfying our innate longing for community are travelled with a safe mental distance between us and our fellows. Therefore I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in a true community atmosphere this weekend in Memphis, Tennessee, and in the process, getting to listen to some sweet sweet southern tunage.

The Levitt Shell is an outdoor natural amphitheater on the grounds of Overton Park in Midtown Memphis. Years ago, the venue hosted such acts as Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis, all in their heyday. Then for decades the Shell went into disrepair and disuse; until recently, that is, when a group of people came together, raised funds from both locals and local businesses and started staging concerts once again. The concerts are free, though a bucket is passed round each night. They sell beer for four bucks a pop, which I personally find offensive most of the time. But all the profits are recycled back into the concert series so I felt like I was doing a good deed on each of my beer runs. Same for the merchandise and the food. As far as I can tell, nobody is making a buck off these shows from the production standpoint. And they make a concerted and well received effort to encourage people to interact among themselves, a crowd populated by mostly regulars of all ages, races and apparent net worth and a handful of out of towners like TB who came mainly for the music, but ended up being charmed by the community.

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TB diggin on Hayes Carll in Memphis on a Lovely Summer’s Eve

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Dang, Four Day Weeks Seem Long (but I like ’em)

Quote of the Day:

Elvis needs boats.” –Mojo Nixon, Elvis is Everywhere

Smile, it’s Friday. I had an awesome XM 12 playlist this morning on the way to the salt mines. Billy Joe Shaver on a fast train, Bill Kirchen not gettin’ paid what he’s worth (he don’t work that cheap), and Mojo. Let’s rock.

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Be sure and check out the new page at the top, temporarily titled, Travellin’ With the TBU. If you have a better suggestion let me know.

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The Imperfect Game

Quote of the Day:

Baseball fits America well because it expresses our longing for the rule of law while licensing our resentment of law givers.” –A. Bartlett Giametti

Armando Galarraga of the Detroit Tigers pitched one of the twenty-one greatest games in the history of Major League Baseball this week. He threw a perfect game. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a Perfect Game. First base umpire Jim Joyce blew a call on the twenty-seventh and final out allowing a Cleveland Indian to reach base and ruin Galarraga’s perfect game at his moment of triumph. It’s sickening. It’s terrible. It’s unforgettable. And it’s tragically beautiful. The response to this ultimate sporting sin by both Galarraga and Joyce make it so.

Jim Joyce choked, there’s no getting around that. It happens, even to umpires. What makes Joyce’s sin forgivable is that he asked for it. “It was the biggest call of my career, and I kicked the shit out of it. I just cost that kid a perfect game.” Joyce didn’t say this after watching two days of Sports Center and reading every sports columnist in America take their shot at him. He said it right after the game while he was still in the locker room. He didn’t read a prepared statement. He said it while pacing in frustration, still at the stadium, visibly distraught. He sought out Galarraga before either of them left their job and hugged him and apologized. None of that erases the enormity of his error. What it does is show how much he wants to get the calls right, and that he owns his mistakes. What happened to Joyce and Galarraga is part of the game. That it occurred in such an important instant really doesn’t make the magnitude of the error any different than the kind that happen daily in baseball, it only heightens the awareness of it and the impact.

For his part, Galarraga was magnanimous. “You don’t see an umpire after the game come out and say “Hey, let me tell you I’m sorry.” He felt really bad. He didn’t even shower.” The next day Galarraga was smiling. He went out to present the lineup card to Joyce and the two exchanged pleasantries. He was asked again about the call. “I thought he made a mistake and nobody’s perfect.”

Heartfelt apologies go a long way with TB. I can put up with just about anything from a restaurant or a business if they acknowledge they have inconvenienced me or wronged me. I can abide most any disagreement with a friend if they extend an olive branch, and I expect the same in return. Same goes for my professional relationships. I don’t think I’m unique in that regard at all, among people.

In baseball, a public show of remorse and an apology are all Jim Joyce can do, and that’s a lot. Some are pushing MLB to retroactively credit the perfect game, but I hope they don’t, and even if they do it will forever be tainted. There is no atoning, though I expect the young pitcher will begin to see the outside corner extended an inch or so as he travels around the league. I wish Armando Galarraga had thrown a perfect game. Failing that, what he did do was, as I said above, tragically beautiful, same goes for Joyce, and I’ll never forget it. There are a lot of politicians, corporations, and others in the public eye lately that I wish would learn from the immortal imperfection of June 2, 2010.

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