Quote of the Day:
As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests. –Gore Vidal
TB voted, got the sticker and everything. It took me a freakin’ hour and a half because they only had three voting machines. Insert early voting rant here.
On the upside, I did get to listen to a fascinating conversation between a lady who appeared to be in her mid to late 70’s and a local elected official. I decided not to be depressed by the conversation, and instead to focus only on the humor of it.
Old Battle-axe–(she seemed very sweet actually)–Hmm, I wonder why they only have three voting machines here today.
TB–I don’t know, but it’s inexcusable. Of course it wouldn’t matter if we could just vote early like they do in a lot of other states.
OBA–What’s early voting?
TB–Um, it’s when you can vote any time for a week or two prior to election day. (disengages from conversation, stares blankly at shoes)
OBA–Do any of you gentlemen know what is on the ballot today?
County Elected Official–Well ma’am there’s a county court seat, a circuit court seat, an appellate seat, and we need to vote for our Congressman, Mr. Incumbent. Well, that IS a contested election. (ed. note–setting aside the editorial comment, CEO added one race in his recitation that was inaccurate).
OBA–ohhhhh, you know A LOT about this.
CEO–Well, I should ma’am, I’m the County Tax Assessor.
TB–(stares harder at shoes)
OBA–That’s so nice. What does “contested election” mean?
CEO–Well, ma’am, that’s when a candidate has an opponent.
OBA–Oh, like when somebody runs against ’em.
CEO–Yes ma’am, like our fine Congressman, Mr. Incumbent, has some opponent. And like Judge Companyman, who came and visited with me in my neighborhood THREE TIMES, face to face. He’s running against some other people who I don’t know.
OBA–Ohhhhh. Congressman Incumbent…he’s done pretty good right?
CEO–Yes ma’am, he’s a fine man.
OBA–And you say this Judge….is he the genteel lookin’ one?
CEO–Uhhhh, I’m not sure ma’am. Judge Companyman is the one whose been an assistant prosecutor for twenty years, he’s real good about making sure the criminals are taken care of, that’s what he’ll do when he’s Judge. If he’s elected, I mean. His opponent is really from Jackson I think, and hasn’t lived here long at all.
TB–(setting aside the editorial intent, and realizing everything in the comment was factually incorrect–briefly looking up at CEO, then returning a blank stare into my now slightly smoldering shoes)
CEO–(realizing other people can hear him I guess)–But I’m just here as a private citizen ma’am, I’m just lucky I don’t have to campaign because I’m not on the ballot this year.
OBA–And this is not one of those elections where only Republicans can vote, right? And then we can’t vote next time if we miss this one?
CEO–No ma’am, this is a bipartisan election.
OBA–That’s what I thought. Now bipartisan just means that…
CEO–…..They can either be from the Republican Party or the Democrat Party.
OBA–And you say this gentleman that met you met three times is going to be a Judge….oh my, I think that young man’s shoes are on fire…..