Sorry

Quote of the Day:

The eminent statesman, Joe Barton, speaking the truth as he sees it, indeed the truth of how 99% of the GOP sees it as well as probably half of the Democratic Party, has reminded us all that what we need in this country is not recrimination, not the blame game, not responsibility for one’s actions, but rather a tone of reconciliation. TB is inspired. I have a few apologies I’d like to make.

Dear BP, TB is sorry too. I’m sorry our country isn’t seizing every damn one of your assets and thumping your Tory supporters on both sides of the pond right in their upturned noses.

Dear World, I’m sorry we don’t appreciate soccer enough and I’m sorry that we don’t call it football or futbol or whatever. I’m sorry I don’t even know who the hell came up with a nonsense word like soccer. However, if we continue to take the best shots your refs can throw at us and still whip your collective asses, especially if we do it in the bottom of the last inning like we did today, I have a feeling that we will start to come around.

Dear Sarah Palin, I’m sorry I have begrudged your fame and fortune. The truth is you deserve everything coming to you, and so does our nation.

Dear President Obama, I’m sorry General McChrystal said bad things about you. You should fire his ass, because what he has done has serious constitutional implications. And though it is a completely separate issue, I’m sorry that what he said held so much truth. Please get off your ass and fire the appeasers in your inner circle.

Dear General McChrystal, I’m sorry you got your ass fired. I’m sorry you didn’t just resign in the first place, and then blast the administration, which would have not only been honorable but would’ve had more impact in affecting the policies and the politicians determining those policies than taking the dangerous, dishonorable route that you chose.

Dear Governor Barbour, I’m sorry the oil spill has caused you to go on record with all those asinine statements that will prevent you from becoming President in 2012. You are probably the sanest and smartest dude on your team. I’m sorry we’ll now get stuck with Newt or Sarah or Beck or the like.

Dear Sandra Bullock, I’m sorry that I don’t think you’re all that hot. I do think you’re better looking than Palin, though I must admit, she’s politics hot. I’m sorry I don’t know much about Jesse James–and just to be clear–it’s not the wrasslin’ Jesses James is it? And I’m sorry that chick-kiss didn’t work out for you. It was a pretty good idea though.

Dear “Get Him to the Greek”, I’m sorry I was busy wiping the Diet Coke that came flying out of my nose away during the “fur stroking/Jeffrey” scene and might have missed a joke or two.  And Dear Judd Apatow, I’m sorry you haven’t discovered me yet–really sorry–I have some good material for you.

Dear Congressman Barton, You are one sorry sonofabitch.

There I feel better. I should apologize more often. Good for the soul and whatnot.

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About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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9 Responses to Sorry

  1. Mac says:

    Just quickly popping in too say I concur on the “stroking fur/Jeffrey scene”. I was literally crying.

  2. Smilyj says:

    I’m sorry I read this.

  3. irvine redd says:

    Soccer v Football was the one word argument I let the English folks win with me. They also complained about how we say Nike, to which I said, “I’m sorry but that’s not an English word” and aluminum, which they say as al-oo-men-ium, which is clearly just ridiculous.

    So, “Get Him to the Greek” was good? I was starting to have some reservations about it.

  4. I give it a 3 out of 4 for humour (in honor Russell Brand) and a 2 for plot. But the fur stroking scene is of itself will endure. Worth the price of admission.

    Re: the soccer, I am really into it, which is hard for me to believe based on my opinions on the sport many years ago. Still not ready to sit through a whole game, but I’m keeping up. Amazing what a team with a realistic chance to win can do. Go USA beat Ghana (I’m still having a hard time understanding why we shouldn’t stomp a mudhole in Ghana in ANYthing.)

  5. irvine redd says:

    HAHA, yes you and many other folks in this country feel that way TB. I actually got into thw World Cup in 98 because I was in New Jersey for the summer, which is as terrible as it sounds, where I had no friends and lots of boredom, so nothing to do all day but watch the World Cup. Then after I spent a semester in England I was hooked. Club soccer over there is far better in quality and the passions are pretty high. Actually Tim Howard is the goalkeeper for my team, Everton, where Landon Donovan also spent a spell on loan this past spring.

    I’ve dubbed myself the resident TBU soccer expert. Having said that we should beat Ghana. Our whole team should be in eff-you mode, which they’ve been in since half time of the Slovenia game, because Ghana knocked us out in 06. The best bit is that Ghana is missing their best player Michael Essien, who is one of the top midfielders in the world. We are talented enough to win, but ask the French and Italians about how much that matters.

    So did you not watch yesterdays game against Algeria? I luckily took Monday through Wednesday off this week so I was at home, screaming incoherently at my TV. That goal was such a major burst of relief and excitement. We were a minute and a half away from failure, and then not only saved it but won our group for the first time. All of that means, we have a much easier path from here on out. The English get Germany, and then in all likelihood, will have to get through Argentina and Spain to reach the final, where Brazil could be waiting for them. That’s an insanely tough stretch of games. IF we keep winning, we wouldn’t face one of the big dogs until the semifinals. The odds are good but nothing is guaranteed, I’m just hoping we pull a Butler.

  6. irvine redd says:

    Thought I’d share this video that I just saw. Let’s you know you’re not alone in being really into it. And this also proves that the music from Rudy can make anything feel ten times more uplifting that it already does. I now want that played as they pour my dust into the wind when I’m dead.

  7. Damn, that’s good. (excuse me, got something in my eye)

  8. B.R. says:

    after watching the video i will have to try and check out the next game. “with the sound down
    because of those damn horns.”

  9. smilyj says:

    Is there some kind of soccer games going on or something?

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