Quote of the Day:
“If you’ve heard this story before don’t stop me because I’d like to hear it again.” –Groucho Marx
It has been widely reported that U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood this morning advised drivers of Toyota vehicles that have been recalled due to sticking accelerators to “stop driving it.” This obviously didn’t sit well with Toyota so this afternoon he “clarified” his statement saying that what he meant to say was “I want to encourage owners of any recalled Toyota models to contact their local dealer and get their vehicles fixed as soon as possible.”
This brings to mind one of the best jokes of all time.
Two men are shooting the breeze around the water cooler one day when one of them says, “I have to tell you a funny thing that happened to me yesterday. I was changing a flight to get to Pittsburgh at the airport and while I was waiting in line I couldn’t help looking at the beautiful blonde in front of me and her, shall we say, well endowed chest. I tried not to stare, I swear, but my eyes just kept darting over at her. When I finally got to the front of the line I meant to say “I need two tickets to Pittsburgh,” but what came out of my mouth was, “I need two pickets to Tittsburgh.”
The other man chuckles politely and responds, “yeah, I’ve had that happen to me. In fact just yesterday I was having breakfast with my wife. What I meant to say was “Honey would you pass the Wheaties?”, but what came out of my mouth was “You fucking bitch you ruined my life.”
One of my all time favorites as well.
It is a classic.
I always say “pass the orange marmalade for my biscuit” The word marmalade seems to throw the listener off just a bit.