What I Meant to Say….

Quote of the Day:

“If you’ve heard this story before don’t stop me because I’d like to hear it again.” –Groucho Marx

It has been widely reported that U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood this morning advised drivers of Toyota vehicles that have been recalled due to sticking accelerators to “stop driving it.” This obviously didn’t sit well with Toyota so this afternoon he “clarified” his statement saying that what he meant to say was “I want to encourage owners of any recalled Toyota models to contact their local dealer and get their vehicles fixed as soon as possible.”

This brings to mind one of the best jokes of all time.

Two men are shooting the breeze around the water cooler one day when one of them says, “I have to tell you a funny thing that happened to me yesterday. I was changing a flight to get to Pittsburgh at the airport and while I was waiting in line I couldn’t help looking at the beautiful blonde in front of me and her, shall we say, well endowed chest. I tried not to stare, I swear, but my eyes just kept darting over at her. When I finally got to the front of the line I meant to say “I need two tickets to Pittsburgh,” but what came out of my mouth was, “I need two pickets to Tittsburgh.”

The other man chuckles politely and responds, “yeah, I’ve had that happen to me. In fact just yesterday I was having breakfast with my wife. What I meant to say was “Honey would you pass the Wheaties?”, but what came out of my mouth was “You fucking bitch you ruined my life.”

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
This entry was posted in Blank Stares, current events, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to What I Meant to Say….

  1. Mac says:

    One of my all time favorites as well.

  2. irvineredd says:


  3. larry says:

    It is a classic.

    I always say “pass the orange marmalade for my biscuit” The word marmalade seems to throw the listener off just a bit.

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