A Haiku, A Limerick, Free Verse and Some Couplets (With TDW’s Randoms)

Quote of the Day: There is poetry as soon as we realize we possess nothing.”     —John Cage, 20th century American composer

The Daily Wit, fresh off his resounding blog success as a result of the 15 random words and phrases story idea, has issued another challenge. I cannot lie. The topics are simply too….too….random. I cannot make a story. And my poems are absurd, but they meet my standards for publishing; that being, they crack up the author. Additionally, the cheap trick of bad poems helps mask the summertime doldrums lately infecting my ability to write. I hope a couple of chuckles translate to you.

Stroking your ferret

1001 ways to buy

shampoo, baby oil

^    ^


The bulls and the bears and the rats and the skunks,

The miracles of the credit card and the debts,

Stock bubbles and bonuses and bad loans to punks,

Why was it WE who went bust when they lost all their bets?

^    ^


He wondered if relationships should have a black box,

of post destruction feedback or the dreadful jack pox,

When sand in his swimsuit left abrasion,

It felt like chemical castration,

But sand was as pudding to packing tape on his sack and his rocks.

^   ^


I think it would be fun to order Chicago style pizza,

whilst in the shadow of the the leant Tower of Pisa,

a facial display like the great Mona Lisa.


In forced contemplation of the subtle differences between zucchini and cucumber,

I gladly succumbed to the onset of slumber.


Why did the zombie cross the road? Why wouldn’t he?

For there Fonzi was doing motorcycle jumps, the sign showed. For charity.

About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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22 Responses to A Haiku, A Limerick, Free Verse and Some Couplets (With TDW’s Randoms)

  1. The Daily Wit says:

    First, I was not only laughing out loud, but I was starting to tear up. This is so damn funny. It’s The Producers-esque in its intentional badness thereby being hilarious way. That’s pretty smart, TB.

    Second, I entertained a haiku and a sonnet before finally deciding to go with the angle that I just used on my site.

  2. irvineredd says:

    Wonderful silliness!

  3. I have truly written the worst limerick of all time. And while I did decide to go with the bad poetry and humor attendant thereto, I did not originally set out for it to be that way, I am sad to report.

    The Daily Wit has his story up which once again affirms his greatness in this genre. Also be sure to go back to Round II of the series to catch Nanc’s story which is very good.


  4. Jessie Lou says:

    I think I need to challenge you to a poetry duel! Wish I had more time at the moment.

  5. Jessie Lou says:

    Random thoughts with a purpose…….

    A sandy beach under a bright hot sun,
    You and me will have all the fun!
    Sand in the bikini is a good excuse….
    To go ahead and take off that bathing suit!
    Baby oil and good smelling shampoo
    Mmmmm the things I could do to you!
    Zucchini….cucumber ….. why would I bother?
    When I’ve got you who has way more to offer!
    Cocktails at 8 and dinner at 9….
    You and me enjoy a nice bottle of wine!
    A big fine bed with cool sheets of cotten….
    I know just the way to spoil you rotten!

  6. stoneskin says:

    Fonzi was doing motorcycle jumps? What, is that the same Fonzi I know?!

    Sad I missed this challenge.

  7. Yes, he famously “jumped the shark.”

    It’s a shame I didn’t miss this challenge too.

  8. Samsmama says:

    Excellent. Just…excellent. What a great approach. I think you should do the next challenege in the form of a rap.

  9. quail09 says:

    Dude….please, can we talk about some sports or something??…..haikus and limericks are killin me

  10. Jessie Lou says:

    Q09 – soften up – it is SUMMERTIME! Football will come in just a bit. Be patient, my friend, it is a virtue.

  11. quail09 says:

    i didn’t say football……i said sports or something…..anything

  12. irvineredd says:

    Q09, why don’t you make a limerick about sports?

  13. Jessie Lou says:

    Q09 – I guess I was thinking of myself
    Dreaming of the SEC, Pac 10 & the Big 12
    Pro baseball, I find, is such a bore
    A blog about that would be a chore
    I would suggest an entry on fishing lures
    A sport in the water may be just the cure.

  14. Zeek says:

    Can I hurl now?? Q09- I’m with you… we need something to talk about besides faux- intellectual (hah) blither.!!!

  15. Wendy says:

    If either one of you can do any better I double dog dare you to jump in now.

  16. Only two more months til football season and the return of Thursday pickin. Until then, I’m afraid its mostly bad poetry, faux intellectual blither, and neverending stories.

  17. SM–I think you are patronizing me. This is usually frowned upon, but considering the beating I am taking from Q and the official naysayer, today it is appreciated.

    Wendy–thanks for getting my back.

    Irv–you’re spoiling for an argument I can see. Don’t know where MD has gone off to.

    JLM–very nice and on short notice too. Your sports talk will hopefully quell the uprising.

  18. Harmony says:

    Ha! This is great TB. LOL @ Samsmama I think rap for the next challenge would be perfect! Are you up for it TB?

  19. Nanc says:

    Nice addition of ‘the rats’ to your ‘The Bulls’ stanza… great stuff, especially since the phrasess were so long in this round.

    And thanks for the rec for my Round II post – I’m glad you liked it.

  20. Wendy says:

    Glad to be of service TB. I thought summer was good for some light hearted silliness. You and Jessie Lou seem to be able to comply.

  21. irvineredd says:

    Nah, no argument seeking here. Just curious what sort of poetry Q09 would come up with.

  22. Haiku was previously called “hokku,” and given its current name by the Japanese writer Masaoka Shiki (at the end of the 19th century?). Its first known use was in 1902.

    “Ukiah” reversed is “haiku.”
    The place name was first, and who knew?
    From “hokku,” as shown you,
    A writer was known to
    First use it by 1902.

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