Quote of the Day: “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” –George Orwell
The Michael Steele helmed GOP is a blank stare creating machine. Politico reported yesterday (May 13, 2009) that at the next meeting–check that, the upcoming EXTRAORDINARY SPECIAL SESSION– of the Republican National Committee, a resolution rebranding the Democratic Party as the “Democrat Socialist Party” will be approved. TB thinks this is just a, um, grand idea. Of course it has the word “socialist” in it which is bad, except in areas socialism is supported by Republican legislators like in farm subsidies and highway building and postal service and even social security and medicare. But never mind that. What’s even better is that it rolls off the tongue so smoothly. The “Democratic Socialist Party” would sound far too, um, democratic. People like that. I guarantee you some RNC member’s sister or uncle or dog owns the public relations firm/ad agency that got paid a million bucks to come up with dropping the “ic” to make it sound worse. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I have no quarrel with the rebranding game personally. After all the RNC has to do something to deflect attention from the growing sentiment that their party should be renamed the PON–Party of No. Or, worse yet. the Party of “who got us in this mess in the first place.” Plus, rebranding sounds like fun. It’s kind of like that Seinfeld episode where George wanted to be called “T-bone” but instead got nicknamed “Coco.” Because he looked like Coco the monkey. A grand old party game indeed. I want to play.
First, as a Mississippi State Bulldog, I am entitled to rebrand Ole Miss. Our new coach has already christened them “The School Up North.” I like that–it has accurate geographical information and delicious irony. I think his choice of the word “school” was a mistake though. People respect schools for the most part. I am going to slightly rebrand Coach Mullen’s rebranding and resolve that Ole Miss should now be called “the Terrorism Training Camp Up North.” Yeah, that’s the ticket. And instead of “Rebels”, I hereby rebrand them “militants.” (Oooooh, this reads good.)
Who’s next? How about “Country music.” From now on the fluff coming out of establishment Nashville will be known as “Twangy Pop.” Presbyterians will now be “those sinners who get out five minutes before us and clog up the line at McAllister’s.” Auto mechanics are “muggers.” The casualty insurance industry is now the “Screw You Cabal.” Fox News will be referred to as “Carrie Prejean’s Next Employer.” The Drudge Report will be called…..actually, I’m pretty satisfied with that name.
Finally, TB’s blog and email political nemesis Mad Dawg is due for rebranding. It is troubling to me that many people might see his name and mistakenly believe he is just another typical christian, scholarly Bulldog fan when in fact he is not. And the fine spirit from which he takes his name conjures fond memories of youth. Neither of these angles suit me. So he is officially, for the duration of this post rebranded as “Rebel Yell.” It’s a whisky of damn dubious lineage, the “yell” properly captures the tone of his debating style, and Rebel harkens back to his fanship of the promising football team now known as “The Terrorism Training Camp Up North fightin Militants.”
I love this game.
Travellinbaen 
Good stuff, TB. I’m sure the Democrats are hard at work on their reply resolution of “We’re rubber you’re glue. It bounces off me and sticks to you.”
That’s good. So is MSU now sponsored by the kind of dog lovers, Michael Vick?
I, for one, am glad to be one of those sinners who could be in line ahead of you. In Pgoula we beat the Baptists to Jerry Lees in record time. Makes for smooth lunch time.
I second JL on the get out of church before the rest. That’s just a smart move. Start 30 minutes early and beat everyone to the store/restaurant. Then you’re fat and happy while they wait. But, hey I went to that Terrorist Training Camp Up North, so I don’t know about much that isn’t related to jihad and militant islam.
(Whoops, I think I just got the blog flagged by the CIA. Look out waterboard, here I come!)
meant to say King of Dog Lovers, Michael Vick. See if I hadn’t gone to the training camp that would never happen.
For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to try and insult everyone all in one post, but mostly MD. Any other ideas for groups that need rebranding are welcome. But whatever you do, don’t try to give any solutions to what some might call “real issues” like whether Miss California should have been fired or whether Wanda Sykes crossed the line.
I thought the MD reference had more to do with his mental state than a drink but I forget that MD 20/20 was the drink of choice for PHS kids in the last 80’s – not so in the early 80’s. We drank Bullfrogs. And I digress. All I can hear is Billy Idol singing now.
IR – after all the training with your grandmother you were primed and ready for Militant Leadership. She is quite proud of the fact. I heard her say so yesterday.
Rebel Yell. Not bad—-I have been called much worse in my days.
By the way, it’s “Madd Dawg”, not “Mad Dawg” as I had to modify slightly the name to make the name my own.
See below.
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MD 20/20
18% or 13% alc. by vol.
As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite to back up its bark. MD Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called “Mad Dog 20/20”. You’ll find this beverage as often in a bum’s nest as in the rock quarry where the high school kids sneak off to drink. This beverage is likely the most consumed by non-bums, but that doesn’t stop any bums from drinking it! Our research indicates that MD 20/20 is the best of the bum wines at making you feel warm inside. Some test subjects report a slight numbing agent in MD 20/20, similar to the banana paste that the dentist puts in your mouth before injecting it with novocain. Anyone that can afford a dentist should steer clear of this disaster. Avaliable in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum, but only the full “Red Grape Wine” flavor packs the 18% whallop.
Liquor stores are starting to be infiltrated by a 13% variety of MD 20/20 Red Grape. There is also a new “Blue Raspberry” flavor with “BLING BLING”. Even the lowest functioning of bums will know not to get swindled out of 5%.
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First of all, ALL the parties should be renamed– Idiot Group A, Idiot Group B, etc. I will waste no more time on them. However, here is a quick list of a few of Zeek’s renamings.
1) Zeek-
2)TB- Lil’ Steinbeck
3) Madd Dawg- Happy Pu$$y
4) Sweet- Mr. Moody
5) Fig- Missy’s B1tch
6) Greeg- Psycho
7) Face- Rebel Hater
8) JLou- FireWoman
9)Irvineredd- Lefty
10) Quail09- Martini Man
11) Smily- Mrs. Greekson
12) Miss. State Univ.- Oktibbeha Co. Agricultural Community College
I meant to rename myself Zeek the Great BTW.
Zeek, the great ButThole Wiper?
that seems to be an odd “talent” for which you would like to be known.
By the way, I read today that Carrie Prejean is going to be a guest host on Fox and Friends.
First of all, I can’t believe I read the first sentence of that article after I saw the headline. However, my hypocrisy instinct kicked in at that point and I quickly hit my link back here to the serenity of TB. Secondly, I swear to God I didn’t know she was getting the guest host gig before I wrote this post. It’s just too damn easy to predict some things, even when I’m just trying to be funny or even absurd.
And since rebranding of one’s own groups is to be left to their natural opponents I won’t argue with you Zeek on what MSU should be called. But if I were on the other side I’d go with something more like, “nope, not next year either Oktibbeha CoCoCo”. Or Coco for short. Like the monkey.
Speaking of rebranding, it seems that Obama is learning that the world is a little more complicated when you are in charge than when you can just say anything you want to get elected.
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Barack Obama does U-turn on Guantanamo Bay terror trials
By David Gardner
Last updated at 4:42 PM on 15th May 2009
President Barack Obama was today accused of a major U-turn after he decided to keep the controversial military commissions set up by George Bush to prosecute terror suspects.
The surprise White House announcement reversed Mr Obama’s campaign pledge to rely on America’s conventional criminal court system.
It was the president’s second U-turn this week after he changed his mind and pledged to try and block the court-ordered release of damning photographs showing US soldiers abusing prisoners.
Last night’s move led to an outcry from shocked human rights campaigners who thought Mr Obama intended to dismantle the terror tribunals after calling them ‘an enormous failure’ during last year’s presidential campaign.
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Ya’ll are all cracking me up – which is necessary on this Friday afternoon. The new names are quite amusing.
MD, he’s only keeping the tribunals in place for some of the suspects and they’re increasing legal protections and structure to, hopefully, properly try war criminals. He hasn’t simply re-adopted Bush’s plan.
MD, I’m rebranding you the Hannity of The South (even though I do believe you’re smarter). Because I don’t heap vitriol every second of every day on Obama, you can rebrand me Lover Of All Things Obama.
You can call Ole Miss whatever you want so long as you add “2009 SEC regular season champions in baseball.”
I appreciate you guys taking that game from LSU yesterday to make our first over all championship in a sport that matters in my lifetime possible.
That is all
I’ve never heard of the conference champion receiving the number 3 seed in the conference tournament. That just doesn’t seem fair.
C’mon TB, don’t lie to your readers—-it was a huge flip flop, and you know it.
“Lover Of All Things Obama” will be known as “LATO” (long a) for short. I like it.
Proof that the TB website is on the cutting edge of political news reporting/analysis:
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What’s in a Name? Re-Branding Madness Consumes Washington
By Judson Berger
FOXNews.com
Monday, May 18, 2009
Global War on Terror is out — “overseas contingency operation” is in.
Democratic Party is out — “Democrat Socialist Party” is in.
Terrorist attack is out — “man-caused disaster” is in.
Since the new administration took office, Washington has been consumed, on both sides of the aisle, by a kind of re-branding madness. This marathon in semantics has had a variety of tactical purposes, depending on who’s got his Sharpie on the dictionary.
The Obama administration, through a string of delicate shifts in terminology, has softened — or at least obfuscated — the essence of the war against Islamic extremism.
Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, arguably the Washington equivalent to Madonna of re-branding, delivered an entire set of testimony without using the word “terrorism.” She says she prefers “man-caused disasters.”
And the administration as a whole phased out the term “Global War on Terror.” “Overseas contingency operation” became the tag that is now used in budget documents to explain where billions of taxpayer dollars are going.
Napolitano told the German magazine Der Spiegel she’s avoiding such hot-button words like “terrorism” to demonstrate the administration’s desire to “move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur.”
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gave even less of an explanation, telling reporters in March that the name switch for the War on Terror “speaks for itself.”
Republican marketing guru Pete Snyder, with New Media Strategies — who called former President George W. Bush a “horrible” brander — guessed that these new names serve a common purpose.
“The premise there is they want to confuse the public,” he said, noting that Obama is pursuing a national security agenda not so far afield from Bush’s.
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RY, I have a lot of complaints about Obama. However, your previous comment had nothing to do with my post. I will say I think his administration is proving to be far too conservative, (as defined by Bush et al) so far, in almost every arena. I am particularly interested in how the environmental legislation, health care and Supreme Court (and other federal judiciary nominees) pan out this summer.
How did I lie to my readers by leaving your non-sequiter alone? I run a pretty loose ship here after all.
I do appreciate the shout out to the TB cutting-edgedness.
my bad TB, I made an incorrect (assumed) attribution. I read DW’s (now LATO’s) comment from May 16 at 4:13 and just assumed that the commentator was yours.
So LATO was the one attempting to spin BO’s numerous flip flops into mere slight adjustments of policy based upon further reflection. I call BS on LATO.
MD, I know it’s tough reading facts that don’t comport with the opinions you get Fox-fed everyday. But that doesn’t mean the facts are spin.
I still think you need to get a rabbit or perhaps a fluffy kitten to lighten you up a bit.
A pu$$y owning a kitty? That just goes against the laws of nature.
TB(and Wit and IR)- Please tell me you can see the writing on the wall. A Time for Change?? The only change is we’ve gone from Rep. to Dem. If you can honestly tell me in 3 yrs. that you are happy with Obama and his administration I will be surprised and/or you are idiots (which I sincerely believe you are not). All this talk of change was just media/campaign fodder to get him elected. The Dems. were atleast smart enough to see that most Americans were ready for a “change” due to the state of the Union in general. And being the mindless drolls most people are now, it didn’t matter what kind of change, they just hopped on the bandwagon. Unfortunately ALL of us have to live with the consequences, not just Obama voters. I’m not even saying Bush would be much better. This is my whole reason for starting the fledgling BBRP party. It doesn’t matter who you put in the Oval Office, if nothing changes,….nothing changes. The Reps. will claim he’s too liberal, and the Dems. will scoff that he’s too conservative (like TB). I’m just wondering how long it will take for the Lovefest to run its course and the media turn on him like they do everyone. Why is Rebranding even newsworthy? Is that what they are doing in D.C., making up new names for problems? How about getting started on trying to fix some of them, I personally don’t give a rat’s a$$ what you call it!!!
I’m not inclined to take a post like this and go in this direction on the comments, tho as always I don’t censor if you want to. TB’s political commentary and the ensuing open season will be along before you know it. There are a couple of bills due for passage and signature this week that will mark “real change.” I’ll post about them if and when they happen, along with his continuation of too many of Bush’s ways.
Your question at the end is the question that inspired the post in the first place, though in a different form for me. I agree with your sentiment on fixing the problems, names and ideologies be damned. It is beyond me why the powers that be can’t have a civil debate about the best way to fix things rather than simply resort to name calling.
We have trouble getting real change because most politicians have no balls. That’s why I loved watching Mike Gravel in the democratic primary debates. You could tell even the moderators wanted to avoid him because they knew he would probably make some comments that they didn’t approve of, despite the fact that what he said was usually true.
On Obama, I’m holding my judgements on what he’s done for at least a couple of years. Dude’s only been in office for 5 months. If he doesn’t pull it off and is unsatisfactory then I’ll be first in line with my judegements.
Part of our inability to change anything, at least to me, is our two party system, which will never change since both parties have worked together to ensure that no other party can emerge into the system. What we get because of this are two parties who are only on focused on doing what they must to win an election, which goes back to most politicians having no balls. Because most politicians are only worried about being re-elected they are too scared to do anything that might hurt those chances. So you have two large rooms filled with people who flat refuse to even try to change things, no matter how important those topics are, unless the subject is passionately supported by their constituents. So really we could have the most radical president, either republican or democrat, and things would still be incredibly hard to change.
And, TB, come on “civil debates”, that would be an adult thing to do, and why would we want to go and do something like that?
LATO, thanks for the suggestion, but I prefer beer and/or Jack to cheer me up.
For all of you Big Governments folks:
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‘A government that is big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have.’ – Thomas Jefferson
I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country.
It is more dangerous that even a guilty person should be punished without the forms of law than that he should escape.
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone I love not to mix with it.
Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.
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I like Jefferson too.
MD, fyi, that’s Gerald Ford not Thomas Jefferson.
Thanks LATO.
I don’t care if Oscar the Grouch, Andre the Giant or Paris Hilton said it—-it is true and certainly something for all of us to keep in mind during these times of the massive expansion of governmental power.
No, actually it’s Thomas Jefferson.
I guess Bartleby needs to run a retraction. http://www.bartleby.com/73/714.html
Speaking of getting names wrong. did anyone hear Obama mistakenly say his secretary of defense was William Gates. I guess he gave up on Microsoft. If that were Bush, we’d all be hearing what a moron he is. He sure ain’t much without a teleprompter. Usually comes off like a bafoon. I’m also getting tired of the phrase “previous administration.” WTF! Get sum nuts and come up with some new excuses! I ain’t no Bush or Cheney fan but Cheney wiped his butt with Obama today.
and a buffoon as well
MD, once and for all answer this….which party is the one that doesn’t believe in government expansion? Because the two parties who are relevant are both all about it. This has been firmly and finally established and its really beyond any reasonable debate.
Smily, did you hear Obama’s speech? Because I thought it was excellent and he made some good points. I also thought the plan he laid out for the Guantanamo prisoners made sense. Further I learned that most of the prisoners who have been released thus far, and the vast majority of those who have returned to battle were released by the Bush admin. That was news to me. I did not hear Cheney’s speech so I can’t compare the two.
But I know Cheney’s a buffoon, so I can guess at it’s content.
PS, I just moved all this to the MD/RY political page. Add anything to this thread that’s funny, even if on a political bent, but take the politics over there. Should be fun to have a continuing thread on all this.
What happened to the RY sense of humor anyway? This thread had a lot of potential for awhile.