- When you’re on vacation, ice cream joints are a good place to go for supper.
- Always get the end seat on the pew at church–then you can slump back, and to the left.
- The words “reckon”, “bursitis”, and the phrase “liked to-a”. For instance, “I reckon I’ll be fine, but I liked to-a thrown my arm out trying to pitch to you while my bursitis was acting up.” Which makes me wonder…why don’t we celebrate the person who stamped out bursitis? I haven’t heard many people claiming this particular affliction in quite awhile.
- How to throw a knuckleball. It’s one of the few ways I can still prove my man card bona-fides to other dudes. I can make that sucker dance, bursitis or not.
- When someone is grilling pork on low heat and basting with a vinegar based sauce, keep an eye out for the little pieces that flake off and sit on the grill all day. They look burned but they aren’t, thanks to the vinegar (or so the old man said). That’s good eatin. You had to be there–that’s the best I can describe it.
- During the Civil War near Phoenix in Yazoo County, MS, food got scarce when the Yankees came through. The locals were forced to brew tea and make salad with Poke berries. Poke salad. And I’m pretty sure my Dad doesn’t even know the song inspired by this delicacy. This is something else I learned that I’m not really certain is true. Here is a picture of the poke berry taken in Phoenix:
- Buy cherries in Michigan, maple syrup in Vermont, and peaches in Georgia. Anybody knows these things, right? But how about apples in Virginia, strawberries in Alabama and oranges in Louisiana. That’s good knowledge right there.
- If for some reason you were to go jogging and you found yourself wearing black socks with your white shoes and shorts, own it.
- That the NBA is fixed.
- Red Oak Trees are worth a lot more than White Oak Trees.
And a couple of bonus gems from some other folks’ Dads:
All ties loses. Also, us boys better get an education and go in to business for ourselves. We might not be cut out for working for somebody else. Thanks Waldo.
And finally, gettin new windshield wipers is livin high on the hog.
Happy Father’s Day. I reckon I’ve typed enough for one day. Time to go eat some peaches and ice cream for lunch. And get ready for the big Celtics-Lakers game.
Quote of the Day: “Work isn’t supposed to be fun. If it was fun, they’d call it “fun” instead of work.” — Dad
I’m a dad. Here’s my advice which is becoming more and more irrelevant as time goes on: Don’t bother putting your return address — when has it ever actually made a difference?
KnuckleBall: Important Man Quality. Every Man should know how to throw one. You’ve proven you deserve your Authentic Man Card!