There Once Was a Man From Nantucket…

Quote of the Day:

The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That’s why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.” –Stephen Colbert

Apologies, in advance. Viewer discretion advised. On a separate note, there may be some vulgarities below. And, um, it may help to read these with an accent. Or after a few green beers. Keep a tissue and/or a blank stare handy.

There once was a lad from Nantucket,
And he kept all his lists in a bucket;
Til’ he fin’ly realized,
That to be realized,
Sometimes you just have to say what the heck.

———

I hear tale of a laddie called Sheen,
Who boasts Tiger Blood in his veens,
Resides with two goddesses
Who’ve ill-fitting bodices
And in ecstasy cry out “WOLVERINES!”
(alternate ending–Say, Emilio, where has he been?)

———-

And now, my opus limericas:

There once was some assholes from Goula,
Runnin’ buddies since they were in schoola,
But then they got old,
Or so I am told,
And none of them ever got any coola.

MadDawg became a crazed Neo-con,
Smily is a perverted fire-mon,
Fig’s troubled by phones,
BR stays at home,
And Sweet has issues with testosteron.

TeaJay succeeds with only wine and song,
Zeek the naysayer was gone far too long,
Feidt, failed Gentleman of Leisure,
Greeg, likely to seizure,
And Larry must live ever with “all night long.”

But then, you might ask, what of Me?
How was it I transformed to TB?
The unheard raconteur,
Unread bootleg essayist,
A purveyor of words fer no fee?

I work on my dream, e’er hoping for luck,
To be discovered and paid a han’som buck,
But the nigh fifty who read,
Passing time is their need,
I’m exhausted, as a limerickist, I suck.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the management and staff of the TBU.

 

 

 

 

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About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
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3 Responses to There Once Was a Man From Nantucket…

  1. Jessie Lou says:

    There are some bonnie lasses in the TBU
    Harmony, Tiny D, RSR and Jessie Lou
    They like the sports but love the music
    Weekly songs they are keen to pick
    Getting the rest of you into the groove.

  2. Open says:

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  3. Life is short, and this article saved valuable time on this Earth.

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