Quote of the Day:

“The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That’s why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.” –Stephen Colbert

Apologies, in advance. Viewer discretion advised. On a separate note, there may be some vulgarities below. And, um, it may help to read these with an accent. Or after a few green beers. Keep a tissue and/or a blank stare handy.

There once was a lad from Nantucket,
And he kept all his lists in a bucket;
Til’ he fin’ly realized,
That to be realized,
Sometimes you just have to say what the heck.

———

I hear tale of a laddie called Sheen,
Who boasts Tiger Blood in his veens,
Resides with two goddesses
Who’ve ill-fitting bodices
And in ecstasy cry out “WOLVERINES!”
(alternate ending–Say, Emilio, where has he been?)

———-

And now, my opus limericas:

There once was some assholes from Goula,
Runnin’ buddies since they were in schoola,
But then they got old,
Or so I am told,
And none of them ever got any coola.

MadDawg became a crazed Neo-con,
Smily is a perverted fire-mon,
Fig’s troubled by phones,
BR stays at home,
And Sweet has issues with testosteron.

TeaJay succeeds with only wine and song,
Zeek the naysayer was gone far too long,
Feidt, failed Gentleman of Leisure,
Greeg, likely to seizure,
And Larry must live ever with “all night long.”

But then, you might ask, what of Me?
How was it I transformed to TB?
The unheard raconteur,
Unread bootleg essayist,
A purveyor of words fer no fee?

I work on my dream, e’er hoping for luck,
To be discovered and paid a han’som buck,
But the nigh fifty who read,
Passing time is their need,
I’m exhausted, as a limerickist, I suck.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the management and staff of the TBU.