Quote of the Day:
“You know whats going on in that Bermuda Triangle?
Down in the Bermuda Traingle
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis needs boats.”
Every kid at Eastlawn Elementary School saw In Search Of…..the Bermuda Triangle some time around 1977. TB did. Scared the hell right outta me, for a day or maybe two. Seeing the episode was bad enough. But when you mixed up the actual content of the show with a bunch of wild ‘goula boys’ imaginations, then eliminated any hint of editorial equivocation or doubt, well, it’s the sort of thing that’ll stay with a body through the years. As I understood it, after consultation with the fellas at recess, every airplane, ship, or radio transmission that EVER crossed one of the invisible lines forming the Triangle simply disappeared, like to outer space or the fifth dimension or underneath Giants Stadium or some such. There was disagreement as to whether anyone actually could live within the fearsome Triangle, but consensus as to the certainty that if they did, it was because they had always been there, forever, or like, a hundred years prolly.
So anyway, now “they” tell me it’s really safe to go in there. And, well, I guess you might say I’m breaking a promise that seven year old TB thought would hold. Hell, he prolly figured it was inconceivable I’d grow up and even think about such a thing. Yet here I am, on the eve of a cruise into the teeth of the nefarious coordinates. So if you don’t hear from me for a week or ten days, don’t fear. I’ll be drinking a few umbrella drinks and mass quantities of Caribbean beer, working on gettin’ some sun on my gut, ’cause tan fat beats white fat as a wise man once counseled, and generally livin’ the good life, travellin’. It’s what I do. If two weeks or more pass call Leonard Nimoy to get the old gang back together for a sequel, or if he’s dead, call in and see what Mojo has to say about it on Sirius/XM.
I ain’t sayin’ I’m scared or nuthin, hell I’m goin’ ain’t I? Just that the number one attraction on Bermuda is diving/snorkeling. They take you out to the shipwrecks. (Blank Stare). At least them ships ain’t in no fifth dimension or some such.
On a related note, the In Search Of…..series had a profound effect on several TBU-ARB’s.
Everybody at The Daily Wit’s school saw the Bigfoot episode. At MD’s cult compound they screened “the Coming Ice Age” over and over and MD is still verily pissed about being misled on the issue. Sweet didn’t get spooked by a single episode. He made through three in fact, before being scarred for life: “Nostradamus,” “UFO’s,” and “the UFO alien body cover-ups.” No six to ten year old could have been expected to survive three “In Search Ofs.” Yet Sweet did it. And bears the scars. Smily only made it through “King Tut” which is prolly why he’s such a wuss. BR’s episode was “DB Cooper” and I guess that’s why he had the compulsion to disappear around 11 pm on weekend nights from 1991-2002. Mac saw Jim Jones and the kool-aid drinkers. He’s a big Ron Paul guy nowadays. Say your prayers, everyone, that Ron Paul never starts pushing Amway. Zeek saw “Sodam and Gomorrah,” bless his soul.” Flyin’ J musta seen “Dracula” since he’s always asking me “have you read it yet? have you read it yet? have you read it yet?” Freak. Flyin’ J is accomp–accomp–accom–goin’ with TB to Bermuda. Says he heard you can’t see yourself in mirrors down there in the Triangle. (sigh) Went to Catholic school for elementary.
And one more, for Little Boy, who at the age of 40 is to be declared a gentleman on Wednesday. I truly wish I could be there to witness the event. He obviously saw the episode “Siberian Fireball.” In Search Of…..postulated that an atomic explosion occurred there in 1907. ‘Course, considering what he voluntarily put his old ass through for the last six months, he may also have seen at least part of the “Immortality/Prolonging Life” show or perhaps the (possible) finding of “the Holy Grail.”
There is a show on Bigfoot on TV tonight – watch if you dare! I guess if you never blog again we will know that you didn’t make it back from the edge of reality. If you blog again in several weeks perhaps it will be because you were kidnapped by aliens and studied and prodded for the duration. Personally, I am convinced you will return browner than when you came and much happier due to copious amounts of relaxation, food and alcohol.