The Worst Egg Bowl Ever

Quote of the Day:

Waitus  tilia nextus anno domini caninus.” –official motto of The Mississippi State University

(Sighhhhh…..) So many choices…….

1983, the wind blown kick. 1981 when the zebras stole one from us on a bogus pass interference in the End Zone–that one, they say, directly led to the “college rule” on interference moving it from a spot foul to 15 yards. TB was just a kid for those losses and they weren’t even televised, so I survived them with limited permanent damage. 2008 and 45-zip was pretty bad, but it led to the resignation of Sly Croom and the hiring of Dan Mullen, so there was a silver lining. The two point conversion in 1997 still makes me nauseous. Forgive me if I go astray…my typing fingers grow unsteady.

1992 was the worst. Reb fans call it “the Stand.” I call it “my first year of law school when I watched us run 11 plays from inside the ten and still not score in a game we dominated everywhere but the scoreboard and it is the coldest I’ve ever been in my entire miserable Bulldog fan life.”

The ‘dogs had to score a touchdown to win with under two minutes to go. It was year two of the Sherrill era. The Confederate Nation was on the ropes, with a proven winner at State and major probation on the horizon. We dominated the entire game, rushing the ball down the Rebs throats such that, while uneasy at finding ourselves upside-down on the scoreboard, a late clinching TD seemed imminent. Powering down the field with ease, State soon had first and ten from the eleven with time running out fast.

I was sitting, coincidentally, right on that fateful eleven yard line about halfway up the stadium. I recall the moment vividly. It was cold, probably around 40 degrees or so, damp and gusty. I managed to keep fairly warm via vigorous exercise in the form of cowbell ringin’, with a full, fiery flask of fluids in my coat pocket and most of all with the warm glow of impending glory, and a year of Oxford livin’ on my mind,  the Egg in my hip pocket at all times, just in case it was ever needed. And it would be needed. I remember looking ahead to the party we were having that night, me and Larry, and high-fivin’ with Greekson and Smily, and maybe stealin’ some Ole Miss girl away from a would be frat boy suitor, not to add insult to injury, TB ain’t like that at all, but if it did in fact have that effect, who was I to question it and suddenly it was third down and we hadn’t moved very close to the End Zone. Not to worry a penalty gave us a first down and so my mind wandered and I calculated, because I was a poor thirsty student in those days, just how much beer I’d need to get out of the keg to justify my investment, not counting however much some sweet sorority girl might want and then it was fourth down and we still hadn’t scored. Another penalty and we were on the two and then after a flash of ineptitude it was fourth down again and I didn’t care about girls or winning arguments or parties or high fives or world peace or any other damn thing in the entire known universe. I cared about getting a touchdown and I was now desperately confident the fates were opposed to my interests this day. And still I hoped against hope and I felt the chill north wind suddenly pierce my whiskey warmed blood and the dampness penetrate my bones, the ones trying to tell me something had gone all wrong. But sometimes, the fates don’t get the result for which they plan, due either to inattention or a higher interested power or some other mechanism…I do not know, but I do know that hope is hard to kill and it would not die easy  that cold Oxford day because we had an offensive genius named Watson Brown leading our charges and he would have a play up his sleeve that would save the day, he had to, and here it came…..

A handoff up the middle to a reserve fullback with less than a dozen carries on the year? That was the play? He never made it back to the line of scrimmage. It wasn’t even close enough to plead “we wuz robbed.” Defeat. Dejection. Cold, bone chilling, evil, violent cold like I’ve never felt before or since. The temperature dropped to twenty below in an instant, the millisecond in which the realization the handoff to the seldom used fullback had been made and there was no fake and there was no wide open tight end in the corner of the end zone and the clock was at zero and we had lost the Egg.

We still had the party, as you would imagine. I got my share of the beer, though Greekson got more than his own share, I noted. There was no Ole Miss co-ed to ease my pain, but there were good friends, many of the best. SmilyJ and Greekson and Holly and Kelley and Big John and  Wit was there for awhile and more. And when the keg floated and the place cleared out it was these old friends, Reb and Dog together, lying around the apartment in exhaustion and contentment, disaster be damned. And there was Larry too, on the floor in front of the love seat, at peace in victorious satisfaction with all the world, and there was Smily, gently stroking Larry’s hair for at least ten minutes until I said “what in the hell is goin’ on over there” and Larry, sitting below Smily AND Kelley and being naive and hopeful and feeling love for all the world in his Egg-owning contentedness grinned and said “you can do that allllllllllllllllllllllllllll night long.” And I said “dude that’s disgusting” and Larry looked up and it wasn’t sweet beautiful Kelley but homely, hair thinning SmilyJ who leered down at Larry.

And Larry managed to turn completely Rebel Red and somehow scooted himself under that loveseat that was only an inch off the ground while we all hooted in healing laughter and the tears we Dogs stifled all day could now flow freely and honorably in our hilarity, except for Big John and Greekson who’d drank more than their share and thought we might be laughing at them and so we naturally added them as subjects of our mirth and ever since that awful day I have won every argument I have ever had with that one Rebel fan, regardless of the locale of the Egg then or any other year by trumping him with “you can do that alllllllllllllllllll night long.”

It was the Worst Egg Bowl Ever.

One of the best days of my life.

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About travellinbaen

I'm a 40 year old lawyer living in Ridgeland, Mississippi. I'm several years and a couple hundred miles removed from most of my old running buddies so I started the blog to provide an outlet for many of the observations and ideas that used to be the subjects of our late night/happy hour/halftime conversations and arguments.
This entry was posted in Humor, Life, Mississippi, Sports and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to The Worst Egg Bowl Ever

  1. Ok, you’ve redeemed yourself. I watched that game on tv at my then-girlfriend’s house. She had no idea why I was getting so tense watching the end of the game. I knew then that we were not meant to be.

    I can see how this was the worst Egg Bowl for State fans, but the 15-14 game has to be an incredibly close second. That game caused our archaeologist mutual friend, who normally has the mellowness of a pothead, to leave the room and throw things.

    • That one was pretty bad. I came as near destroying a TV that day as I ever have. Walked outside and the sky was sickly dark with yellowy green tints, it looked like the apocalypse and it happened just as the 2 pt conversion was being run. State went 7-4 that year and got no bowl. It was when I realized that being part of the SEC meant my school had 11 enemies and their success only contributed to our demise. I never again have rooted for “my league” in bowls or chanted “SEC” since that year. The only good thing for State is to win and hope the rest lose, any sport, any time.

    • I’m sure we’ve talked about this before, but I remember that year. I remember my Ole Miss friends laughing that State was the 1st SEC team with 7 wins to not go to a bowl game. I also remember telling them to stop laughing because sooner or later Ole Miss would be the second.

      And then came the 2001 season when a 7-4 Ole Miss team sat at home during bowl season. State and Ole Miss remain the answer to the trivia question, What are the only 2 SEC schools to win 7 games and not go to a bowl?

      I’m now resigned to the fact that Ole Miss (and State and Vandy) are hapless victims of geography. We’re the Ewoks from The Empire Strikes Back. We didn’t choose to be geographically located in the SEC, but here we are. We’ll never defeat the evil Empire. We’re Ewoks whose only hope is to the give the occasional nutshot to a Stormtrooper.

  2. ZEEK says:

    Now THAT was a great story, warmed my heart. Larry and Smily’s homosexual tryst made it better. I would have thought you would have gone with 83 or the extra two, but there are so many for you to choose from. I was at the 83 game, and I’ll never forget the pure dejection and dismay on MSU faces. They were so sure that victory was theirs. I almost felt bad for them……….well, not really. HOTTY TODDY !!!!

  3. BW BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ says:

    I just wanted to drop in and thank you for the posts that you put on here ever so often and also for the work you do on the thur. pickins. While the rest of us only make our picks , you are the wizard behind the curtain! ( I got that from Gene Chizik).

  4. Jessie Lou says:

    Very good story and I can hear Larry saying the famous quote – can’t wait to say it to him in person. 🙂

    Happy Thankgiving to the TBU!

    • Recreating that infamous line is something I’ve had in mind for awhile. I can tell that story pretty good, but writing it is tougher. I felt like I captured the moment pretty well though, if I do say so myself. Waiting on Larry to check in, he’s kind of been the star subject of the TBU this week.

  5. smilyj says:

    Ever since I got married, I have slowly convinced my wife to become a State fan. however, she is ten years younger than me and never really got into watching football so she doesnt have an understanding of what it is to be a State fan. But she enjoys going to the games and we usually make one a year. She has genuine enthusiasm for State and cheers just as hard as I do. But I continually aggravate the crap out of her with my pessimism during games, even when everything seems to be going our way. I say things like “this is where they are gonna f#$k it up!” Or “here comes an interception or fumble or some act of god to make State lose.” Anyway, at this years Georgia game with BR and his wife everything seemed to be going State’s way but yet there I was waiting for the “choke” or screw up on every next play. She had finally had enough and just told me to shut up. Then when she had finally cooled down and everything seemed “in the bag” for State, TB sends a message to BR. “WE BETTER NOT CHOKE IN THIS ONE BR AND SMILY!” BR hands it to me and says “Look! what TB sent! I look and my wife sees it too and I kind of grin sideways at her. Now in a defeated manner she exclaims “Geez, what is wrong with ya’ll!” ……she just doesnt understand.

  6. Jessie Lou says:

    Your writing on the subject is impecable, a word I am feeling good about spelling correctly at this time of day. You did a great job!

  7. Jessie Lou says:

    Even Alice White agrees!

  8. Anonymous says:

    TB,
    I was at the ’81 game, and that PI call against State was legit.

    I was also there on the “You can do that all night long” night, and that is, by far, the most embarrased that I have ever seen Larry. The bad thing was that everyone saw sEan rubbing his head for about 15 minutes as he sat on the floor leaned up against the couch between sEan and Kelly, and we were all kind of just wondering WTF until TB had finally had enough and said something. I’ll bet Larry had wood. The look on his face when he realized it was sEan was priceless and something that I’ll never forget.

    Greekson was certainly overserved that night. Remember when he tried to hit Holly and we all beat his arse? Truth is, we saved him because she would have seriously hurt him if we had not jumped in.

  9. Madd Dawg says:

    that was me above. I am out of town.

  10. smilyj says:

    I just remember big John totally overserved and highly pissed off at what he had just witnessed. It disgusted him immensely. I dont know who he wanted to annihilate more, me for the act or Larry for enjoynig it sooooooooo much.

  11. Jessie Lou says:

    No, the comment was all about you.

  12. larry says:

    What can I say smilEy has soft girly hands.

  13. J.K.Blue says:

    You couldn’t’ win an argument with me concerning the Egg bowl. The only stat that really matters is 60-41-6 /Rebels. My favorite stat is the Egg bowl that represented the final game of States greatest and and most winning coach, Sherill. Ole miss won that game to give Sherill a final record of 75-75. Msu’s most successful coach doesn’t even have a winning record..LOL!! NO COACH HAS EVER LEFT STATE AND REMAINED A HEAD COACH/ MSU IS A COACHING GRAVEYARD!!!

    • JK, thanks for reading. Sorry the story got under your skin…it was supposed to be (a) funny, (b) a bone–no pun intended– to my OM peeps and (c)really, the part about Larry is pretty funny you gotta admit.

      Still wanna argue?

      Cause I got one more card up my sleeve left to play.

      But seriously, you are right. State sucks, historically. But we’re pretty good right now, which is nice.

    • ZEEK says:

      Hey, I like this JK Blue guy.

  14. Grammar Girl says:

    That would be SHERRILL not Sherill, couldn’t (without the extra ‘ on the end) and MSU as opposed to Msu. Please don’t tell me you are an Ole Miss grad! Wait, I see another error…….

    • Grammar Girl, I can always use an editor, been looking for one since 3rd grade. The job don’t pay good, but I’m always happy for help. I’ll fix that spellin’ airer too.

      ……
      ok, I’m back… couldn’t even find the mistakes after you pointed them out. I’ll look again tomorrow. Tired tonight.

      …….
      ok, me again. just realized you were replying to JK Blue. You think he was “just kiddin'” with all that? Thanks for defending my honor GG.

  15. smilyj says:

    \ /
    O THIS IS HAND WITH TWO FINGERS UP.

  16. Grammar Girl says:

    I was talking to JKBlue. He also left out an apostrophe on the word “States” since it showed possession. I just could not help myself. When you are trying to show yourself (or something you love) as superior you should be superior in your effort.

    And now for the disclaimer statement: I ain’t perfect myself – grammar intended.

  17. larry says:

    Ya’ll can do this allllllllllllll night long

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