Quote of the Day “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” — Hunter S. Thompson
Note–The names and places have been changed to protect my goofy friend.
Today was weird. It started off with an apparant disaster with respect to a promising file, saw the inexplicable likelihood for an expenditure of significant unnecessary funds, effort and time being risked in a closed one, and included a drive through a deluge with failing windshield wipers to take the statement of a backpedaler. But then the sun came back out, I got a call that disaster had been averted and an email making that unnecessary expenditure look like it wouldn’t happen after all. Not an ordinary day for TB, but rather one of sound and fury, signifying nothing, to coin a phrase.
In the midst of it all was a phone call from an old pal I’ll call “Rex.” Rex is a smart guy and universally liked. We receive group emails from time to time from mutual asshole runnin buddies (I really don’t want to feature a lot of cursing here, but that’s a term of art and I simply can’t blog about certain dudes without using it.) Rex wakes up laughing, goes to bed laughing, makes you laugh when you see him, and still manages to be well versed and thoughtful about most any subject you bring up, though if he’s drinking he’ll act like you’re some kind of fool to think he knows anything about politics or economics or culture. With this insufficient description of Rex’s personality as a backdrop, I will attempt to recapture our conversation for your viewing pleasure.
TB–What’s up? R–Not much. Hey, I need your advice.
TB–(to himself) this doesn’t sound good. (out loud) lay it on me brother.
R–I got a call today that I’m supposed to be in a deposition Tuesday–hey turn that down for a minute dude–we’re on our way to the f…’n backwoods mountains in (Oklahoma) to a music festival–dude you should see this van, I’ve got like 12 cases of beer–I’m thinking about stopping to get three more, I don’t wanna run out–I’m gonna be in NO condition to talk to anybody until like next Friday–Oh I gotta tell you about this chick I…
TB–Rex–what do you mean deposition?
R–Oh, dude, there was this party a couple of years ago in (Guadalajara)–you should’ve been there–hey man, can you turn that down just a little I’m on the phone–dude it was crazy–chicks everywhere, three bands, free booze, the lead singer of one of the bands was singing Johnny Cash songs naked at one point–it was awesome dude, but I do miss that job.
R–Oh it was this marketing gig for (IBM) where my job was to give away free swag and get all the managers, bartenders and waitresses to push our stuff. They fired me, of course they had no choice. Dude I can’t even begin to tell you how many rules got broke, but dang, the guy that was supposed to be in charge was all coked up and couldn’t do it so I said dude cash the check, keep 250 bucks and give me the rest and I’ll make sure its a party they won’t for get, and dude, you know it was–Before I forget–ok guys just one more minute I swear–this chick was from (Kennebunkport)–closest I’ll ever get to a Playboy model, 5-10, blonde, waaaaay outta my league, but hey, she liked me–dude everywhere we went people were checking us out.
TB–you get pictures?
R–oh yeah, one on my phone. she’s supposed to send the rest. Anyway, dude what should I do?
TB–(attempts to advise)
R–Ok dude I’m incommunicado for like 3-4 days, ya’ll take it easy.
TB–did you hit Bonnaroo this year?
R–nah dude too commercial–I think we need to stop and get some more beer
TB–be careful, I gotta take this call–I’m in the middle of a disaster.
It was at that point that everything began to make a turn for the better. You know what, I didn’t even realize it until I got to this sentence. Thanks for the good Karma Rex and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do up in (Oklahoma).