Quote of the Day: “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” –Jack Handey
Some of you may be wondering why TB hasn’t commented on the “Stimulus Plan” that passed through Congress this week. It’s not that I don’t have thoughts on it, but rather that I don’t have any conclusions yet. It basically boils down to whether one trusts Obama or the Republicans as to whether one supports or opposes it. Before I could even begin to know if I thought it was a good idea, I’d have to know for sure whether our economic stability is as fragile as it is depicted by the Obama and Bush Administrations or whether this is just another inevitable recession over which we should not panic. From what I am reading, I’m convinced we’re on thin ice. I know the debt being undertaken is risky. I believe doing nothing or simply slashing taxes is even more risky. So I’m with the President on this for now, but I’m not sure I’m right. What I am certain of is that I wouldn’t want to be in Obama’s shoes right now. Two wars, calamitous economic conditions, constant terrorism threats, and a multitude of other smaller issues that would be enormous problems in normal times–the job doesn’t pay anywhere near enough for me to want it.
Having established that I would not want to be in President Obama’s shoes, I naturally turned my thoughts to whose shoes I would walk a mile in if I could. I’ve decided I’d rather be a King than a President. Below is my list. I’d like to see yours too. (Insert “that’s what she said” joke here.)
- Babe Ruth– in 1927. Forevermore, the home run king.
- Neil Armstrong–high steppin on the moon. Crowning achievement of mankind.
- Bill Gates–on the day he first realized his little hobby was gonna pay off. Big time. A King’s ransom at hand.
- Clarence Darrow–during the Scopes Monkey Trial. King Kong vs the Ted Haggards of the era.
- Ernest Hemingway–on a Kingfishing day out of Havana.
- Leo DiCaprio–the “king of the world” and a nice harem to boot.
- George Washington–at Yorktown when he probably realized he’d beaten King George. I’d write this quote down and leave it in his pocket for when I was back in my own sneakers: “We got ’em beat. We finally got the bastards beat.” (This is an infamous TB quote–read about it here)
- Richard Petty–the King crossing the finish line in Daytona in 1979.
- Louis XIV–they say “its good to be the king.”
- Mel Brooks–to say “its good to be the king.”
Travellinbaen 
As a former college tennis player (“the worst D2 player in the country”), I’d like to walk a mile in Roger Federer’s shoes. Granted Nadal has his number, but Federer has come a long way from the time his dad told him that he’d give him one more year to play tennis and if nothing panned out, he’d have to give it up. 13 Grand Slam titles later…It must be nice.
King Solomon’s would be some mighty fine sandals to wear for a little while.
Finally, I’ll take 2 miles in George Clooney’s shoes. Rich, good-looking, smart, talented, compassionate (one of the early crusaders for action in Darfur). That’ll do nicely, thank you.
TB, I think I can throw a few out there real quick.
Ted Williams-greatest hitter of all-time and knew it
Brad Pitt-are you kidding?
Benny Watts-if you don’t know the “why?” to this
have someone explain it to you
The dude who discovered fire-that had to be
pretty sweet.
Tiger Woods- to be the very best in the world
at the most difficult game,all that
loot,livin the dream.
Gen. George S. Patton-just always got a kick out
of him
Marco Polo- wild times in the Orient? I’m game!
Jesse James(the real one not PJ version)-guess
it’s just the outlaw in me.
Achilles-one bad mofo
I could go on, but I digress,one might deduce I wish I were someone else.
Hugh Hefner
Anybody that walked on the moon, supposedly
Correction, not Hef
Bo Jackson- need I explain
Barry Sanders- the greatest runner I ever saw
Carmen Electra- just imagine
Johnny Carson – got to meet every big star
Ray Crock ( Mcdonalds founder) he did pretty good
Sam Walton (Wal-Mart) he did even better
Nathan Bedford Forrest- They didnt call him the wizard of the saddle for kicks.
Why does it not surprise me that Buzz wouldn’t mind being a woman for a while?
Carmen Elektra?
My Dad.
Someone I wouldnt want to be in the shoes of….Al Gore; Now that the Global Warming evidence is turning against him. How do you explain this if you are him?
sEan,
I need to put you on my anti–global warming email list as TB and Brad (Gore followers) love getting about two articles a week from me on the topic.
Additions:
Alexander the Great–conquered entire known world by age of 29. Actually most anyone with “the Great” attached to their name except Catherine the Great as I am not BW Buzz.
Attila the Hun
Julius Ceasar
George Brett–my childhood hero
Alex the great – also a homosexual (not that theres anything wrong with that) which I assume is why you would like to “walk” in his shoes (light lofers)
Correction, yes Hef
Brad,
Just because someone with a pro-gay agenda in the radically leftwing of Hollywood implies in a horribly-made movie about Alexander the Great that he, a man who had a couple of wives and some kids with them, is gay does not necessarily mean that it is true.
Some people have those same suspicions about anyone over the age of 35 who has never been married.
I never saw that movie. But I am pro smi-LY
I wish I coulda been a greek……
I would like to be Carrie Underwood for a day – she looks great and she can belt out a tune like nobody’s business.
There are others I’d like to be just to know the truth about what happened to them on various occasions:
Jimmy Hoffa
Marilyn Monroe (we share a birthday)
Dick Scruggs
Madd Dawg
Me on a list with Hoffa, Monroe and Scruggs? I am looking at the screen with my best impression of TB’s blank stare.
TB and Sweet may know why I say that and I would be willing to tell you as well. I just wouldn’t announce it here because I am quite discreet, although I do not think that is one of best known attributes.
I don’t really think it’s meant as a compliment,MD.
Oh, but it IS a compliment – maybe a backward one but still…….
MD is an enigma – at least to me. Perhaps the truth would not be nearly as interesting as the reality I have perceived.
It wouldnt be.
JLou, you would be sadly disappointed, I assure you.
I think I’d go as follows:
Michael Jordan: when he won his first title or when he hit the winner in the final four.
Charlie Day- co-creator of the funniest show on T.V., It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and the reason I will name my child Charlie if I ever have a son.
Bob Dylan- when he went electric and people were screaming Judas at him. So I would know what it feels like to know one is a genius.
George Carlin-when he was at his drug addled peak in the 70s. Not because of the drugs, his faves are not mine. But because stand up is an art that doesn’t get enough respect and he is a master. (Would take getting to be Ricard Pryor, Seinfeld, or Dave Chappelle. All are legends) Plus if I lost my job, I think I would try my hand at stand up.
Jerry Garcia- May 1977, so I would know what it feels like to be in a band at it’s improvisational peak. FYI, May 77 is arguably the best month of performing the Dead ever produced. Some would say, what 1 month in 30 years, but those people have most likely never played an instrument and wouldn’t be ballsy enough to walk on stage night after night and see how far they could stretch their ability.
Lastly…..
President Obama-not right now, because that has to be the hardest job ever voluntarily undertaken by a single person and he has people actively fighting him and hoping he will fail (I’m looking at you Rush, you fat pill popping fucker). I’d want to be him on election night last year. That had to feel amazing. It felt amazing for me and I was sitting alone in my apartment. I can’t imagine how triumphant he must have felt before he walked onto that stage. Plus that night he fulfilled the dreams of millions of African-Americans and made it possible for Black parents to look at their children and honestly tell them they can do anything. No matter how his presidency goes that is an accomplishment few people could ever achieve.
Also, Bill Clinton, just so I could argue the meaning of the word is and get away with it. That is just awesome. Oh yeah and so I could reside over the largest expansion of the American economy in our history.
Or I could be relieved Zeek! Interesting choices IR – If you are Bill Clinton during the “is” zone then you will likely get to experience more than that!
JL, that is an added bonus and as a recently single man I might interested in Ms. Lewinsky’s services.
JL,
Only one way to find out!!
Zeek and sEan, GFY.
How about these moments:
-Buster Douglas when he beat Mike Tyson
-Joe Namath when he won the Super Bowl
-Jim Valvano when NC State won March Madness
-Christian Laetner when he hit that shot (and at no other time)
-Doug Flutie when he beat Miami
-Issac Newton when he developed the theory of gravity
-Einstein when he developed the theory of relativity
-Darwin when he developed the theory of evolution
-Copernicus when he figured out that the universe did not revolve around the Earth
I would like to be the guy that caught Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary pass that time. Or any really good wide receiver.
I would want to be any of the great painters and experience the freedom that comes with being able to put paint on canvas and make it look good.
Or Heidi Klum wouldn’t be bad either.
Yes, MD – I’d like to be a fly on your shoulder.
Just play it safe Irvine, that is all I am asking of you!
JLou, Please stop stroking MD’s ego, I can see his little f**king Dutch boy smirk from here.
Just ask Ms Wilson. All you need to know about MD(knelms). She probably made the mistake of stroking his “ego” too. What did it get her? 15 seconds and a surprisingly dissappointing moment.
****just a minor edit–I’m learning the internet is a small place and I don’t want to invade anyone’s privacy who doesn’t want it (this doesn’t apply to Smily or MD)****TB
I guess I am the only one laughing because I know exactly what I mean. It is neither meant to stroke the ego or be derogatory in any fashion. It is more of a historical accuracy endeavor out of curiosity. But we all know where curiosity got the cat and I have no intention of ending up there.
Warren Beatty
Willie Nelson
Michel de Montaigne
Groucho Marx
Jerry Rice
Quincy Jones
Quint Davis
Will Rogers
Stanley Kubrick
John Stuart Mill
Valery Borzov
Harry Truman
Richard Rodgers
Jerome Robbins
Aristotle
Eric Clapton
Merle Haggard
Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth
Fred Astaire
Count Basie
Sam Bush
Is that too many?
If not, add Will Campbell.
. . . .and maybe Shelby Foote and Willie Morris.
de tocqueville?
PS, nobody’s gone for BB King, Elvis, Queen Latifah, Freddie Mercury (understandable), Howard Stern, Bernard King, Billie Jean King (understandable), or Yul Brenner. I’m disappointed.
Manny of course
Any of the Beatles
The dude who witnessed the UFO crash in Roswell
Benjamin Franklin
John Maier(Brewmaster at Rogue)
Ponce De Leon
Socrates
Joe DiMaggio
Lewis or Clark
Teddy Roosevelt
Oops, forgot Stan “The Man” Musial, Bob Gibson, and John Havlicek.
Definitely Paul “Sometimes nuthin’s a real cool hand.” Newman!!!
Harpo Marx.
Seargent York.(Was his real name Calvin?) I think.
Audie Murphy( Not as actor but war hero).
Neil Armstrong
Buzz Aldrin
Micky mantle
Billy Martin
Mozart
Robert Redford
Reagan
Abe Lincoln
Jefferson Davis
Robert E. Lee
Evel Knievel
Charlemagne
There are many more.