Quote of the Day:
“And we’re ready for the kickoff……the ball sails high into the air and the Bulldogs let it bounce (silence for several seconds). I can’t see who’s got it…..there may have been a whistle on the play……a Bulldog is holding the ball aloft in the Auburn End Zone area……it appears to be a touchdown…….It IS a touchdown. Touchdown, Mississippi State.” Jack Cristil (this is actually a paraphrased memory of his call of the opening kickoff returned for a touchdown by State against Auburn in the mid-90’s. Jack had lost his cool complaining that State had been penalized fifteen yards before even taking the field and was completely lost. I think Sweet was with me that day, though I doubt he remembers it).
BR’s “Freestyle” post about probable new Ole Miss quarterback Jeremiah Masoli reminded TB, and just in time, that I hadn’t posted my annual Football in Julypalooza. So here it is. This year, the Julypalooza looks at the approaching college football season through a deluxe crystal ball, one capable of seeing all, not merely the records of each team. But first things first–Mississippi State goes 7-5, Ole Miss 6-6, and USM 8-4. Alabama wins the SEC championship, but loses to Texas in the BCS Championship game.
More specifically, Mississippi State is a team on the rise. By Mississippi’s standards anyway. Here’s why–Dan Mullen is an impressive young coach. He is a future star in the SEC, ready to take over the leadership mantle from a peaking Nick Saban and the fading Urban Meyer (due to health), Les Miles (due to not having Saban’s players) and Steve Spurrier (because he’s old as hell). Don’t worry, I have only had a single cup of the Kool-Aid. He won’t do all that at MSU. But he will have two good seasons to prove to the big money folks at Florida that he’s ready to take over there. Then Meyer can retire and regain his health the way he wanted to last year. It’s in the league’s interest for the coaching transition to go down this way too. That’s why MSU will get just enough calls to go their way, and will stay off probation this year and next. I’ll even go so far as to say MSU will be relatively successful five years out since they will have the players Mullen brings in for awhile after he’s gone and because we won’t get nailed with probation until after Mullen’s golden-boy hands are completely washed of Starkville. Oh, and we’ll also have (relative) success because of improved quarterback play and a stout defense that Jackie Sherrill says will be as good as some of those he coached in the late 90’s.
Ole Miss is tougher to call. They have a strong defense and a weak schedule. They are coming off back-to-back Cotton Bowl winning seasons but they have no quarterback. The solution appears to have dropped into their soul-selling laps in the form of disgraced former Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli. But will the Masoli pickup backfire? I say it depends. If the team believes in Nathan Stanley, Masoli will be an instant wedge, cleaving a deep and bitter division between factions. If Stanley sucks half as bad as he appeared to last season however, the team will rally around any chance to save them from that suckitude. I lean toward the latter probability. The Rebs will follow him to another bowl appearance, but they are destined for a stadium built back in the mid-twentieth century rather than a brand spankin’ new beauty. And they will struggle for a couple of years after this one, partly due to the fact that the SEC needs Mullen to spruce up his resume, and the league doesn’t take kindly to the two Mississippi schools stealing enough wins to make everyone in the Magnolia state happy.
Southern? Hell, I don’t know. They always win between 6 and 8 don’t they? They will be back in a bowl and….wait a minute….the clouds in my crystal ball are beginning to part…..I can see clearly now…..oh, it can’t be…..no, I’ve not lived a pure enough life to have something like this happen….but, if the crystal ball says it, it must be true. Southern will play Ole Miss in the Liberty Bowl. That’s gonna be fun.
What else? Tulane will suck. SMU will suck. Bama will win a lot, but they still suck.
More specifically, MSU will beat Auburn. Book it. Ole Miss will lose to Vandy. They are due. LSU will fire Les Miles at the end of the season. Spurrier will retire this year. Sweet will get killed in Thursday Pickin III (The Return of Thursday Pickin’). Feidt’s Follies too. Quail and Zeek will return to the TBU. Cowbells will be outlawed for good after this season, because Ole Miss is a bunch of pansies and they cry about them like clockwork every time MSU goes on the rise.
That haircut must have inspired you after all – I’m ready for fall and football – cannot wait!
Go STATE! F*#k O Miss.
I hate those stupid, loud, obnoxious, ridiculous, atrocious, against-the-rules, toys for mutes, known as the cowbell.
Especially when I see them being rung by Tampa Bay Rays fans.
Now as for football. The main concern I have is replacing McCluster. I wish Snead had stayed, but he’s not as big a loss as Dexter.
I just can’t wait to see which school adopts the vuvazela (sp?). It would be perfect for USM, I think.
I thought I might get some predictions from y’all. Well, those of you who still read. Geez, take a break for a couple of weeks due to writer’s block and you lose over half your audience….show biz is a tough gig.
Lucky for you, my biggest flaw is never giving up on anything until it is way past due. I checked in every day patiently waiting for a word.
No team in this state better pick up the vuvazela which is quite close to sounding like a body part once talked about on Seinfeld – at least that was my first reaction. And it is annoying.
On the subject of Masoli there is an article in todday’s paper about him giving his website. I’ll have to check it out. If he comes and he is great it will be wonderful. Maybe a small town in Mississippi can put him on track. OR if he could be coming with plans of robbing the rich folks in the neighborhood of which there are plenty and that would be bad. Robbing a frat house of 2 laptops and a guitar does not add up to that but still……
Any bets on if Masoli will come or not?
When O Miss and Auburn play, will it be the Laptop Bowl?
i could name a few names of athletes from all of the previously-mentioned teams who stole much more than a laptop or guitar….and came back to have stellar careers in the SEC and pros….some of these names are from our home towns and have been sited on this blog as part of the all-time great teams….i’m glad as hell to get masoli (did i spell it right, JL?)…..i think he and Mackey will connect and provide some offense….rebels will beat vandy and state….it’ll be tough against auburn and arkansas…..i think they beat LSU again in BR….bama’s gonna be tough again….just hope we have a kicker….glad to be back TB
The best thing OM has going for them vis a vis the QB transfer is the early season schedule is very favorable. Best case (or worse, depending upon one’s perspective) Stanley plays and plays poorly in three early games while Masoli leads the Rebs to victory in spite of some wasted downs while he’s giving Stanley a chance. Then when the schedule picks up some, Masoli takes over for good after proving to any lingering Stanley faction that he deserves it.
As for the Bullies, I’m always purposely optimistic this time of year, no matter what logic tells me. Hell, August is often the best month of the year for us, so I live it up while I can. My inner conspiracy theorist isn’t completely joking about the Mullen resume building though.
The Mazoli kid may be a “game changer” on the field, but his past incidents says he’s a question mark off the field. College football and sports in general has a long history of giving multiple chances to “questionable behavior” players only to have it backfire. With only one year of eligibility left, here’s hoping he takes advantage of another opportunity given to him and makes the best of it for all parties involved.
A good thing about Masoli, is he’s a walk on. So he’s paying for his education somehow, at least. So if he screws up again, we toss him and will not have wasted a scholarship.
Time usually tells alot of things. In a mere 4-5 months the story will be told.
I believe in the Mullen theory too TB but, I think that Diaz is a good protege to mold in to the future head coach. I went to the Middle Tenn State game last year and was highly impressed by their coaches. I also was impressed with their Dfense. I was really glad when they got Diaz after the season. I guess great minds think a like. (Mine and Mullen’s liking Diaz. that is). Thus being a great football mind people, MARK my words, and look back to this post at the end of the year. Masoli may be good for 1 or 2 wins at the MOST. And no way OMiss beats STATE. 2 in a row for the Dawg Pound!
Since noone is criticizing the Masoli addition, I’ll throw this out there:
And IR, I was watching the Rays game last night and heard a vuvazela in the background. So, maybe they won’t be ringing cowbells much longer.
Ahh football…let me help you out with USM, Hell I don’t know either. I’m saying 9 wins just because our PAT team cost us atleast 2 games last year and it can only get better. On a side note if Southern does make the Liberty Bowl, the SEC has a clause that states that the SEC rep. does not have to play an instate school. This was put in to keep UAB from ever facing Bama or AU, but it would apply to the MS. schools as well. Snead was cut yesterday so maybe they can find a way to get him eligible.
TB, I AM back baby!!! i do not like new setup where I cannot see latest comments in top right corner. Might want to think about changing that back. Ya’ll need to go to my comment on beer naming blog . On football, all i can say is Hotty Toddy BEEEEEOTCHES!!!!!!!
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