Quote of the Day:
“Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?” Indiana Jones
Sparing you the gruesome details, TB’s had a hard start to the New Year. Oh, it’s nothing major, mainly just the fact that I’m still barking like a seal every few minutes. Being sick has thrown off my “plan” for starting fresh. I’m not good when a plan gets thrown off track until I can regroup and come up with Plan B-1,587,877. And I can’t do that until I can breathe freely again. I mention all of this by way of excuse-apology-explanation for the tone of the TBU lately. Also, to foreshadow today’s stab at black humor.
TB’s Irrational Fears
Before I begin with my list I want to point out that I am not afraid of clowns, though I don’t particularly like them. I am fine with little people, but the munchkins in Wizard of Oz freak me out a bit. I’m cool with heights, I’ll take down a roach or a spider in a heartbeat, and I’ll speak in public if there’s no way around it. I love to fly, I relish a booming thunderstorm and I’m negligently cavalier with germs. So there. Enjoy my list and don’t judge me dangit.
- Needles. I covered this in-depth once before.
- Drowning. It seems like a really bad way to go.
- Jail. Too many movies, an old article in SI about Denny McLain’s stretch in the big house and maybe a nagging feeling that I have the criminal’s gene buried somewhere deep within brought this on.
- That my teeth will rot. This is one that’s not exactly a conscious fear, but when I get stressed I have these damn nightmares where my teeth disintegrate. On the plus side, I’m down to about once a year on that dream where I wake up and–you know what, that’s a whole nuther topic. I’ll save it.
- The Exorcist and The Omen. Devil movies ain’t my bag.
- Aging. I’m afraid the body will break down and I haven’t gotten around to doing a lot of the things with it that I want. With that dread milestone 4-0 looming I also fear y’all will be hearing enough about this to drive you crazy over the next few months. So just bear with me and have some compassion. If that doesn’t work, hey, at least I’m not afraid of bridges or flying monkeys like you are. Weirdo.