Entries tagged as ‘McCain’
Quote of the Day “For the love of God, do whatever in the hell you wanna do about President or Senator, but please vote for Oliver Diaz or Jim Kitchens for Mississippi Supreme Court if they are on your ballot.” –Travellinbaen
It seems every news website is running a prediction contest for the election results tomorrow. TB is slightly offended by this, seeing as how this site runs the premier college football pickem game on all the web. Not to be outdone, I offer you the opportunity to make your picks on the election here as well. Keep in mind, its what you think will happen, not who you are voting for necessarily. For bonus points, add in your network of choice for following returns, favorite newscaster and pundit, and whether you will consider quitting your job and/or moving to Canada if your side loses. Predictions open until 5pm Tuesday.
The categories–
Presidential electoral votes (must equal 538)
Democrats/Republicans in Senate
Democrats/Republicans in House
Musgrove/Wicker winner
Popular vote percentage for President
Travellinbaen will be sittin at home, sippin on some red wine if my guy wins to channel my inner elitist. I’ll be watchin MSNBC and switchin over to Fox, depending on how things are goin. I like Carville best, but I’m into Olbermann right now for his righteous, leftist, indignity, and I gotta go with Shepherd Smith for favorite news reader. As for a conservative pundit, I like George Will.
I’m predicting Obama wins 53% of the popular vote and wins the electoral vote 372-166. Wicker wins MS Senate, and the Dems have 59-41 Senate advantage (counting 2 independents) and 265-164 Dem advantage in the House. If I get wiped out, again, in this election, I won’t move to Canada, though I’d relish a year in British Columbia. I may consider a move to Oregon or Colorado however. And I won’t be able to quit my job as it will probably quit me.
Categories: Mississippi · Politics
Tagged: Election, McCain, Mississippi, Mississippi Supreme Court, Obama, pickin, Politics
Quote of the Day “My attitude is that if the economy’s good for folks from the bottom up, it’s gonna be good for everybody. If you’ve got a plumbing business, you’re gonna be better off if you’ve got a whole bunch of customers who can afford to hire you, and right now everybody’s so pinched that business is bad for everybody and I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.” –Barack Obama to Joe the Plumber
Only one more week to go before the Presidential election and it seems we’re down to just a few talking points. For Obama, its “vote for me or get four more years of Bush.” And for McCain, it’s “Obama wants to spread the wealth”, “ACORN” sux, and “Joe the Plumber knows as much about the economy as me and that diva backstabbing bitch Sarah.” I don’t think the Obama campaign really needs Travellinbaen’s advice. In a year that saw possibly the worst campaigns in history run by Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giulliani, only to be topped by the McCain debacle, I think they’ve been magnificent. (Yes, I’ve mentally chalked it up, and yes, I realize how “the Power” might react.) But I’ll advise them anyway. As for McCain, I don’t even know where to start–maybe get a time machine and go back to 2000 to remember who you really are, then jump back ahead to August 2008. Short of that, hell maybe your race baiting will carry the day. Anyway, I’m ignoring plumberjoe because I don’t think people are falling for that gimmick, but here’s TB’s easy solutions to the ACORN and Wealth Spreading issues.
It seems ACORN pays the otherwise unemployable contractors to go around signing people up to vote. These folks get paid for each registration form they submit. It is apparently difficult to get strangers to write down their personal information and hand it back to you, so these guys just go find a phone book and start copying names. The more enterprising contractors have found that by watching football and cartoons you can kill two birds with one stone–enjoy some quality entertainment and get ideas for names to write in to registration forms. Unfortunately, this freaks some people out. I did not know this, but apparantly the USA has been plagued for many years by people electing liberals by voting numerous times under such names as Mickey Mouse, Roger Staubach and Smily, without ever being suspected of such perfidy by our crack poll volunteer staffs. It’s a real problem, and once again, TB’s PCS has a simple solution. Outlaw voter registration altogether. Seriously. If you are a citizen of the United States, you vote and your social security number is noted in some great computer in a bunker in Nebraska and you can’t vote again. It’s done. What’s the point of registration anyway? We all ostensibly believe in democracy and we all ostensibly want voter turnout to be high. So just make everybody eligible. I’ll take it one step further, let them vote online and do it anytime within a couple of weeks of the election. This should be especially popular with conservatives because it will obviate the raison d’etre of ACORN (blank stare–French thrown in just to offend the freedom fry crowd).
As for spreading the wealth, TB doesn’t understand the uproar mild public discourse this issue has caused. All politics is about spreading the wealth. Generally liberals want it spread more evenly, like a peanut butter sandwich that is tasty from first to last bite, while conservatives want all their peanut butter straight off the spoon so it doesn’t get sullied by the proletariat favoring white bread. Obama campaign, you need your pithy talking point. TB’s peanut butter sandwich is all made up and ready for you to savor. Warn the people that if you eat all that peanut butter straight off the spoon, its hard to swallow and they will probably have to bail out their mouth with a big jug of milk that’s liable to spill everywhere when you rush to prevent yourself from choking. You could even offer a bite your sensible tasty sandwich to Joe the idiot plumber out on the campaign trail. Maybe then he’d understand what you’re advocating….that what this whole campaign really boils down to how you like your peanut butter.
Categories: Humor · Politics
Tagged: ACORN, damn political post, Humor, Joe the Plumber, McCain, Obama, peanut butter, political humor, Politics, Sarah Palin, spread the wealth
Quote of the Day “I don’t know what they call themselves doing but it ain’t debating.” Smily in the previous post (here)
Does anybody need to watch this “debate” tonight? Are you undecided? If so, please respond to this post and explain what you are still waiting to find out and if you expect to (or do) hear it in the debates. I’m really curious. SC addressed the question of who is left that’s undecided a few weeks ago here, but what I want to post about this afternoon is what would make the debates worth watching. Here are my questions. I haven’t heard them asked in the first two, or anywhere else for that matter.
- “Name three issues typically associated with the other party that you agree with?” If they can’t come up with them, follow up with, “how are we supposed to believe you are going to do anything in bipartisan manner if you can’t name three things of substance you have in common?”
- To McCain, “what do you have to say to the people who think Obama is Muslim or a terrorist sympathizer.”
- To Obama, “what do you have to say to the people who think McCain is morally deficient as evidenced by his involvement in the Keating 5 scandal and committing adultery while married to his first wife?”
- “Is there a percentage of the overall Federal Budget that you think Military spending or Entitlement spending should not exceed, and if so, what is it?”
- “Name your biggest three errors in judgment in your political careers on policy matters.” Follow up with either “what did you learn?” or “if you can’t recall a mistake of substance, how are we to believe you will recognize and correct future mistakes and be honest about addressing them?” This was asked of Bush in ‘04 (not the follow up) and he famously and idiotically was unable to name anything he’d take back.
- “What percentage of all taxes paid do you believe the group of people making over one million dollars a year should pay and the group of people making under seventy-five thousand should pay?”
- “What will you do, if anything, to collect taxes from large corporations?” Here’s the link to the article stating most corporations pay nothing.
There’s a lot more I’d ask if they’d ever turn the moderatin over to TB, but this is a start. I also think there ought to be a BS panel to make the telecast more interesting. Every time they start to use talking points, obvious scripted lines or over-generalizations, we’d buzz them–the first time gives the candidate a minor shock, number two mutes them for five minutes, number three drops them through a trap door into a pool of water. Really, they ought to put me in charge.
Y’all let me know what happens. I’m decided, they won’t ask my questions, and I ain’t watchin. I’ll be working on the Thursday pick’em post.
Categories: Politics · current events
Tagged: damn political post, debate, Election, Issues, McCain, modern journalism sucks, Obama, Politics
Quote of the Day ”My friends, let’s get out of here. I’ve got a fridge full of beer at the house, if you can just help me find it.” TB’s fictional John McCain, misquoted
How long has this been going on? It seems like just a decade ago TB was dreading the candidacy of Hillary, supporting Edwards for his morality and deriding Obama as delusional for believing a black man could win a major party’s nomination for President. It was around the same time John McCain was relevant and Sarah Palin was having anonymous cat fights with her ex-brother in law’s new girlfriend. I realize the USA loves its antiquated traditions. Although the rest of the civilized world has moved on, many of us don’t want to give up on our age old All American practices of allowing corporations to run our lives, shooting one another, or hating soccer, and of course, interminable election cycles. But TB has an idea of liberal, even radical progress, I truly believe could garner bipartisan support. Let’s shorten the election season.
Only American elections have a season that makes NASCAR’s seem reasonable in length. The primary campaigns start the day after the mid-term elections. They go on for most of a year. Then, after a couple of bye weeks, we ramp back up for 3 months more, a playoff season that makes the NBA’s look lightning fast.
In the not too distant past, this made sense. Back then, there were no twenty-four hour news channels and no internet. There were no national newspapers. If candidates wanted you to know much about them, they had to hop a train and give speeches at each whistle stop. They had to come to your local town’s rubber chicken club and speak. They had to eat pie in diners, not to get their picture made, but because they liked pie.
All this isn’t necessary any more. We have 26 cable news networks, chain emails and blogs to get the word out about candidates. The candidates own planes and buses and Joe Biden rides the train. You can get good pie from the grocery store nowadays.
Here’s the plan. The primaries are held in August and September of election year. We divide the country into 4 regions and rotate which goes first and last and the states in each region hold their primaries on the same day. The political conventions are abolished–who needs ‘em? Campaign, blog and send bogus chain emails like hell all October then vote and be done with it in November. That’s a sensible season–training camp, regular season and championship, nice and tidy.
Think of the money it would save! Think of the sanity it would preserve! Think of the email space that would be freed! And in all seriousness, think of the political anger that would possibly be lessened, just a bit. The longer these things go, the more attached we become to people and ideas that often are at odds with our own. And Sarah Palin wouldn’t have to start her 2012 campaign in the midst of McCain’s 2008 one.
Of course, she’s delusional if she thinks she’ll ever get the nomination.
Categories: Humor · Politics
Tagged: campaign, Election, Humor, McCain, Obama, political humor, Politics, Progressive Ideas, radicals, Sarah Palin
September 25, 2008 · 9 Comments
Word of the Day Truthiness–”truth that comes from the gut, not books” –Stephen Colbert; the quality of preferring concepts or facts one wishes to be true rather than concepts or facts known to be true –American Dialect Society
TB was wondering what a Presidential debate between Obama and McCain would sound like if both sides could inject their opponent with a “truthiness” serum to force both to speak as they are depicted in chain emails, blogs, and FOX News. The format of my debate is, of course, a conversation between the candidates.
- McCain–Guten tag, Friends.
- Obama-Yo wassup comrades.
- M-Let’s start with the pledge of allegiance.
- O-Dude, you know I ain’t down with that.
- M-I pledge allegiance to everyone who makes over a million dollars, and to the corporations for which they stand, one nation, under my thumb, without liberals, its just us against all.
- O-I think we’d do better to start by thanking Allah for everything, and warning you that there are 19 suicide bombers secretly placed around the building in case anyone tries something funny.
- M-Let’s talk about the Constitution.
- O-Sounds great. I’m a scholar you know. My favorite part is Section 13, Article 7, Verse 1: And Allah said, “let there be reperations.” Oh wait, that’s the part I’m going to introduce after I’m elected.
- M-My friend, I think we should burn the whole thing.
- O-Where do you stand on the financial system oversight proposals?
- M-I’m sorry, I nodded off for a minute. Did I remember to take my heart pill? Anyway, I think we were talking about increasing parity in the Southeastern Conference.
- O-Say, just how “married” is Sarah Palin anyway. I think she’s looking at me.
- M-Yeah, she asked me to get your number. I already gave it my best shot, but being a war hero just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Speaking of war, my friend, it is my understanding that you are opposed to my plans to attack Iran and Russia and to march in to Canada and Cancun to liberate the English speaking peoples of North America, allowing them to join our Reich.
- O-Until you agree to convert the populace to Wiccan, I cannot agree with your proposal. Perhaps if you would agree to relocate the Federal Treasury to Somalia, we could negotiate over the middle ground.
- M-I think its time for my nap. My friend, let’s get out of here.
- O-Sounds good, but follow me. I don’t want to run in to any servicemen on the way out. I hate shaking hands with soldiers. But first we should bid the audience farewell.
- O-Peace out ya’ll.
- M-Heil Myself.
- M-Just meet me at my house. My friend, I have a fridge full of beer.
- O-Sure, as long as Sarah’s coming. Which house?
- M-I forget.
Categories: Humor · Politics
Tagged: Barack Obama, cold beer, conversations, current events, debate, funny, Humor, Issues, McCain, Mississippi, Oxford, Palin, political humor, Politics, The dude
Quote of the Day “It’s not so important who starts the game as who finishes it.“ –John Wooden
In college basketball, sixty-four teams have a theoretical shot to win the national championship by winning the tournament held at the end of the season. Other than seeding, going undefeated until the first game of the tournament gains you nothing. What often occurs, is a team goes on an extended winning streak in the middle of the year, winning smaller tournaments, their league title or even a conference tournament championship, only to lose in the early rounds of the national championship tournament. They peak too early. The most successful teams manage to let their seasons build gradually, saving their best play for the last six games.
TB warned the Obama campaign back in early June about the risk of peaking too early in the “Advice for Obama” post. It seemed like he tried to lay low for a couple of months so as not to keep the energy from his primary campaign crowds at a fever pitch for too long. I think that was wise, but now he has the difficult task of regaining the momentum. His speech in Denver was one of the best I’ve seen and really doesn’t even belong in the same discussion with Sarah Palin’s, much less McCain’s. But in the same discussion it is. Obama is a long way from regaining his peak form. His best hope is the primary excitement will come to seem like last “season” for voters and he can repeat the performance in this new “season.” He actually may have benefitted from the Palin hoopla toning down his “early season” victory by suffering an unexpected “loss.”
On the other hand, McCain’s campaign has been remarkable to this point. In many ways, his nomination was even more unlikely than Obama’s. Just over a year ago he was being written off as a viable candidate after his campaign went broke and laid off almost the entire staff. Then, by process of elimination, he found himself virtually unopposed and the winner of his party’s nomination. Because it was less what he did and more how others screwed up, he did not have to peak to get that far. He was slow and steady. After closing the gap and lying low during Obama’s coronation, he sandbagged all of us by selecting Palin as his running mate. The media has gone nuts for her because they love a new story, much like they had gone nuts for Obama a year ago. He’s suddenly on a winning streak.
Now, McCain finds himself in the lead for the first time. But has he peaked? My guess is the love affair with Palin will not endure for two reasons: one, I just don’t believe she’s as smart or charismatic as she is being portrayed, though we won’t really know until she’s off the leash and allowed to speak for herself; two, in the coming weeks, the focus will return to Obama and McCain. But that doesn’t exactly answer my own question, does it? The fact is I can’t answer it. Eight weeks is an eternity in politics. There is no historical American race that compares with this one. Is it a new era? Will all those new Obama voters remain excited and continue his unprecedented turnout? Have I underestimated the Palin effect on single issue women voters and/or a reenergized fundamentalist base? I’ll be anxiously and eagerly waiting to find out which side can perform best now that its time to play for the championship.
Categories: Politics · current events
Tagged: damn political post, Election, McCain, Obama, Palin, Politics, President, Sarah Palin, Vice President
September 1, 2008 · 1 Comment
Quote of the Weekend “#%!*&$! Bulldogs!” –Travellinbaen
TB’s been vacationing in sunny Oxford, MS, for Labor Day and away from the laptop, but there’s been lots to talk about over the last few days.
First, my ten-cent analysis on McCain’s VP choice, Sarah Palin. I think he made a shrewd choice. Obviously, McCain really believes he can take some Hillary voters whose only issue is having a woman in the White House, and this is a good way to further that goal. She’s a favorite of the oil companies so campaign funding should flow freely. And she’s definitely a DC outsider which plays to his mythological status as a “maverick”. I can’t help but marvel at the irony of him choosing someone with no experience all the while basing much of his criticism of Obama as being too inexperienced. Likewise, I can’t help but marvel at the Obama campaign’s criticism of Palin as too inexperienced. Then, I am reduced to a blank stare at the right wing talker’s indignation of the Obama campaign playing the “inexperience” card. It is well to keep in mind as emotions rise among voters for both camps that none of these people are in this game on our behalf.
Gustav, as I am told by The Weather Channel this moment, will be damaging, but not catastrophic. It’s going in at Morgan City, and I hope the best for those folks, but I’m glad they drew the short stick too. Now to wait on Hanna and her sisters lined up back to Africa and awaiting their fates upon being struck by the croquet mallets of the gods. Whatever the cause, it sure seems like their are more strong storms than ever the last few years. I hope those in west Louisiana have their insurance policies up to date and the will to sue State Farm et al when they get their lowball settlement offers.
The first weekend of college football is winding down and my school’s season is in all likelihood a lost cause. I’ve attempted to settle the rambling frenzy of frustrated and angry thoughts in to a cogent written summary of what I go through every time State lays an egg like they did Saturday. Don’t worry though, the rant is coming on my “Bulldog” page soon. Shadenfroiders rejoice. I also saw most of the Ole Miss game live. They looked very good on offense. Their new quarterback is good. He’s not as good as advertised, but probably half as much so, and that’s plenty. Defense, not so much. But they’ve got a good chance to win 7 or 8 games.
It helped soothe my bitter soul by going to the Memphis Zoo yesterday. I haven’t been since around 1993, and in the intervening 15 years, the place has really changed. It’s not huge, but the exhibits are great and the variety of animals is good. There’s lots of shade, plenty of good snacks and drinks available and some good shows. The monkeys are my traditional zoo favorite and these didn’t disappoint, but I’ve never seen a polar bear nor a kimono dragon before Sunday, so those were the highlights. I had a great day. It’s a reminder that there’s a lot of better ways to spend a weekend than sitting in front of a TV watching a hopeless football team.
Updated 9-2-08
As information has come out over the last couple of days, I am thinking my initial reaction to the Palin VP choice was a bit hasty. From association with a secessionist movement, to family values issues, to pursuing a family vendetta with government influence, and several other potential scandals I’ve not had the interest to even read about, this lady might be just a little too loony for comfort. Who knows whether these embers will become blazing infernos or simply ashes taken away with the wind, so for now, I’ll not call her a huge mistake. I think we’ll know more in a couple of weeks, but it doesn’t look like nearly as shrewd a choice as it did a few days ago.
Categories: Mississippi · Ten Cent Analysis · current events
Tagged: current events, go to hell ole miss, Gustav, hurricane, insurance companies, McCain, Memphis, Memphis zoo, Mississippi State, Obama, Ten Cent Analysis, Vice President
Quote of the Day ”Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women.” –Groucho Marx
The Democratic and Republican political conventions are coming up this month, and as I surf the web it seems the selection of a Vice-Presidential running mate for both candidates is the source of great speculation. TB believes we’d all be better informed voters if the candidates would also announce their proposed cabinet appointees prior to the election. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a few more targets at whom to aim the mud? As you may or may not know, TB has officially announced he has no plans whatsoever to run for President. However, in the spirit of setting a good example for Obama and McCain, here are the Cabinet members I’d announce during the conventions:
Vice President–Stephen Colbert–He already has a good bit of grassroots support due to his unsuccessful primary campaign. Also, TB’s gonna need some help in Red States, and this guy has his finger on the pulse of the O’Reilly fan. It would also keep me off the “dead to me” list.
State–Angelina Jolie–An experienced world traveller, I believe she’d be a natural diplomat. An excerpt from a future summit with Iran:
AJ–Thank you for meeting with me gentlemen.
Iranians–Oh, any time Ms. Jolie. In fact our schedules are pretty much wide open this year.
AJ–We demand you stop your uranium enrichment program immediately.
Iranians–That’s cool. Let’s set up a date, errr timetable. I think it would be good if you were on hand to verify our compliance. I’m wondering, if we didn’t comply, how would you punish us? By the way, what else are you in to? Do you like falafel?
War–The Batman–First, you may have noticed we dumped the word “Defense” and brought back “War” from the good ol days. People like the good ol days–they were good. It also is part of a green initiative I think could take hold. Shorter words, less ink, less cartridges in landfills. As for my slightly unorthodox choice to head the War Department I can only ask, “have you seen Dark Knight?” I went last night, and I tell you, that dude has access to some badass technology. When he violates the constitution or some pissant nation’s sovereignty, I’ll be able to truthfully say, “Hey, we’d arrest him, but I don’t even know his real identity. And he doesn’t keep an office in DC. He’s in a secure, undisclosed location.” And get this, he knows all about caves. Bad news for Obama.
Treasury–Tiger Woods–Ok, this is Machiavellian. He’s bi-racial (check), popular with country clubbers (check), and racist golf fans would love it if he missed some prime years on tour and couldn’t break Nicklaus’ majors record (check. mate.) Plus he’s really good with money. We might even be able to get some endorsement deals to help keep taxes down. And the Saudi’s will pay a fortune to have him visit.
Attorney General–Jackie Childs– A true friend of the consumer. As for terrorists, while he’s not a proponent of torture, let’s just say interrogators will be encouraged to withold the balm. Jackie will not tell them to use the balm.
Energy–T. Boone Pickens–First, I’d want him somewhere I could keep an eye on him and keep him from funding the Republicans’ “Dirty Tricks” committees. And he wants to build a bunch of windmills. This has been good for tourism in Holland and I think it could work here too.
Homeland Security–Jesse Ventura–This Republican Big Government Expansion has proved to be a waste of space and money and “the Body’s” political career exemplifies these traits. He’ll make a great interview and we’ll all feel much safer hearing his deep resonant tones spouting non-sense and spittle on the Sunday morning talk shows.
Agriculture–Willie Nelson–Being President is probably pretty stressful. I think it would help having Willie around. And we could have Farm Aid right in the Rose Garden one year.
Transportation–Richard Petty–I’d really like to see some stretches of Interstate go to unlimited speed limits and I think the King is the man to implement my policy. And we could re-paint Air Force One Red, White and Petty Blue and stick an STP sticker on the tail fin. That would rock.
This is starting to look pretty good. Maybe I should I reconsider my decision not to run?
Categories: Humor · Politics
Tagged: angelina jolie, cabinet, damn political post, Election, Groucho, McCain, Obama, political humor, Politics, President, stephen colbert
Quote of the Day ”When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.” –Will Rogers
As closely as I can recount it, here is a lunch time conversation I was involved in this week. Enjoy.
Person1–What was that sound?–My God I thought the building was coming down. I was fixin to run.
Person2–I think it was a car in the parking garage next door.
P1–Liked to a scared me to death. You know, with all these disasters and everything. My Sunday School class was just talking about all these disasters and how we’re going to elect Osama Bin Laden and I’m gettin myself ready. Don’t you believe these disasters have the hand of God in them? I do, the end times are goin to be here soon.
Person 3–I know.
TB–Blank Stare
P1–Osama Bin Laden scares the Hell outta me. You know he don’t put his hand on his heart and salute the flag.
P3–I know.
P1–You can’t tell me he ain’t gonna try to let them Muslims take over. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ain’t got horns stickin outta his head. (TB note–I think the horns part was only half serious)
P3–I’m afraid of that too.
TB–Blank Stare
P1–What do you think (addressing P2)
P2–Well, I think we have two real choices for President this time. I think Obama is a good, principled man, but I don’t agree with them. I think McCain is a real honorable man so I’m gonna vote for him.
TB–<Raises eyebrows, takes a bite of burger>
P1–Well, I think Osama bin Laden’s gonna bring this country down.
P3–I can’t stand them boom boxes them people are always blaring in my neighborhood.
TB–Blank Stare
P1–You ain’t sayin much. What do you think? (to TB)
TB–I’m votin for Obama. <returns to hamburger>
P1–Blank stare
Categories: Humor · Politics
Tagged: Blank Stares, Conservatives, Deep Thoughts, Election, Hopelessness, Ignorance, Issues, McCain, Mississippi, Obama, Progressives
