Travellinbaen

Entries tagged as ‘Issues’

Travellinbaen’s Political Consulting Service, Bipartisan Edition

April 28, 2009 · 36 Comments

Quote of the Day:     The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”     –Mark Twain

TB’s been thinking about the state of politics in America lately, and trying to set aside my ingrained bias against the Republican Party to consider objectively what they can do to resurrect their fortunes. Today’s party shift by Senator Specter in particular got me thinking about what has become of the party that only six years ago was generally believed to be in the midst of an extended, if not permanent period of majority. My task as an uninvited, uncompensated and unsympathetic consultant is not to re-hash what led the GOP to this point, but to offer a blueprint for how they might regain relevance on the national scene. 

I start with the premise that current Republican leadership has revealed only one plan so far. That is to simplify their message, reinforce their traditional conservative tenets of fiscal responsibility and strong national security, and remain confident that the Democrats are screwing things up so badly that if they do nothing they will be perfectly placed to regain power in 2012. That may well happen, but (a) it may not and (b) it may not be as bad as what the Bush era is currently considered. It is natural that Republicans would favor this plan because it is essentially what Democrats did to take over in the first place. I don’t think the circumstances are similar enough between now and 2000 for that plan to succeed however, and so I offer an alternative that involves putting the “Old” back in GOP–a return to their roots.

Before determining where they should go, Republicans need to take a step back and see how the world has changed since 1980. First, there are a few issues that Republicans like to focus on that they have already won. Tax rates for the wealthy are not 70% or even 50% any more and have not been for longer than half the electorate can even recall, and are unlikely to ever return anywhere near those levels. The second amendment is safe. Really, it is. Probably a third or more Democrats in Congress are unelectable if they turn against the NRA. And finally, the whole country is now “pro-military” save for a few far left enclaves. There will be no drastic cuts to the military the way there were in the 1970′s. After these big generational victories, comes the stalemate issue–abortion. Neither the pro-choicers nor the pro-lifers are going to get the result they want so this battle has been reduced to small scale changes depending on who’s in charge at any given time. The changes do not justify the resources nor the political capital invested to fight for or against. Finally, the GOP needs to realize that they have lost the fight on what used to be called “family values”  but now is called “gay marriage.” There are still many battles left over gay marriage, but the same way I can tell you by late in the first quarter each year that Mississippi State is going to lose to LSU I can tell you this issue is lost. The other major lost issues for the right are keeping the status quo on health care and energy/climate change policy. Most people want health care and big business can’t compete internationally without it. And most people think global warming is a threat while virtually all Americans want to gain energy independence from the Arabs.

With all of the above in mind, here’s my advice to the plank writers of the Republican platform:

  1. Take a few pages out of the Democratic plan. The Democrats engage in internecine warfare on a regular basis and it often weakens them on certain issues. However they seldom spend more than a few days beating wayward Dems or even Blue Dogs over the head, and they are strengthened in the long run. They have a bigger tent. They may resent their conservative leaning brethren, but they don’t crucify them the way the Republicans do their dwindling number of left leaning members. Republicans need a few yankees, even if they have little in common with the southern base of the party. And they need to put California or New York back in play in presidential politics if for no other reason than to cost the Democrats a little money in exchange for all those electoral votes.
  2. Collect their winnings on the issues on which Republicans have traditionally excelled. Drop guns down a few notches in importance. Re-focus on national security by advocating smart spending on new technology and a smaller, more mobile and efficient force. Highlight programs that need to be canned and others that are underfunded. Push for the establishment of a commission similar to the one that closed bases all over the country in the 1990′s to lead this effort. Try to make defense spending have a greater positive impact on domestic stimulus. And establish a civilian jobs division under the control of the Army. One of the undeniable modern uses of military force is to stabilize and rebuild conquered states, what used to be called “nation building”. One of the lessons of Iraq is that it cost too much to pay Halliburton to do all the building, cooking, public relations, teaching, and whatever other non-fighting tasks were necessary. Use the pool of Americans who want to serve their country or even those that just want military benefits but don’t want to carry a gun. It will make the military more cost effective and during times of peace this civilian force can be deployed in areas of need in the US or abroad. And though part of what I’m describing involves fiscal discipline, take that a step further and drastically limit earmarks from your membership. Set a cap, like the salary cap in the NFL, per Representative or Senator. Do this and either the Democrats follow suit and the whole country benefits or they don’t and you have a great issue for the next election cycle.
  3. Take their lumps. The religious right ain’t goin nowhere. It’s time to embrace civil unions for gays if not marriage outright. In fact, if enough states hurry up and pass civil union legislation it might be enough to stop the gay marriage momentum. And figure out a way to support universal health care. Maybe let the government pay for new medical educations or pay off student loans of doctors in exchange for a set number of pro bono days in service of the poor. Maybe push for dollar for dollar tax credits for all medical expenses for everyone making less than $250,000 a year. Maybe shorten the amount of time a drug company or medical device manufacturer can hold a patent. Hell I can’t do it all for them, but all of these ideas at least in some way are consistent with traditional conservative values and I’m sure the think tanks could come up with some more. On global warming, just ignore it and focus instead on alternative energy business stimulation. Business support is where Republicans are best. Help people and companies make money in wind and solar and be amazed at the way the climate issues will resolve on their own.
  4. Finally, get out front on a couple of things. Neither party wants to really address immigration, for different reasons. The left is afraid of alienating minorities and the right doesn’t want to deprive business of the benefits of cheap labor. It will hurt, but this issue is waiting to be won and all it will take is support for enforcement of existing laws and harsh penalties for businesses that exploit this illegal labor supply. Success for corporate America is good, but it must not be seen to come at the expense of citizens and with the help of politicians. Republicans also need to dust off the old Teddy Roosevelt model and update his trustbusting ways to address the problem of overly powerful multi-nationals. They need to drop the mantra that all government is bad and recognize areas where it can be used wisely and with restraint. Bring back the Bull Moose, I say, and save the Gipper for when he’s needed again.

There are plenty of other issues that are important, but my research shows these to be the ones with the most potential to recapture the portion of the electorate turned off by niche wedge issues, religious hypocrisy and profligate spending by both parties. Maybe Republicans are right in their current policy positions. At the very least maybe they won’t change their feelings on the inside. But to regain their lost stature, this is a blueprint, errr redprint for success.

I know that a lot of you who read my blog are either conservative or lean conservative and I’m interested in your thoughts on how the Republicans can regain their strength. I genuinely tried to brainstorm a new course that I thought upheld conservative values while moving them a bit toward the center. My bias is acknowledged from the start, but I endeavored to approach the issue as objectively as possible. 

So let’s hear it. Am I completely off base or on to something? Is it the prevailing view that the Republican Party is handling things well already or do you agree they need a new game plan? Are you at all concerned, as I am, that the GOP is becoming a regional party and entrenching themselves as a solid bloc in opposition to the rest of the country? Or is this just a swing of the pendulum which is reaching its zenith to the left?

Categories: Politics · current events
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Warning…this post could make your head explode (I think mine just did)

March 27, 2009 · 187 Comments

Quote of the Day:     “I would not give a fig for the simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side of complexity.”     –Oliver Wendell Holmes

TB is at peace with the fact that in politics it is often forced on officials and voters alike to take inconsistent positions on certain issues and use an inconsistent methodology in arriving at those positions. I’m still struggling with the fact that so few people recognize their own, or their party’s own inconsistencies, and I am completely disgusted that the so-called analysts and pundits in the corporate media refuse to address these issues at all. A couple of examples from recent news stories I’ve been following:

  • AIG. My God how I loathe that company and all associated with it. I especially hate the way it made/makes my brain matter splatter onto my laptop. Here’s the deal….Republicans love the big insurance companies and pass law after law and appoint judge after judge to help them make obscene profits….then one day, AIG goes belly up….only to be bailed out by the Bush administration with the full support of the Democratic leadership not to mention TB because the company is “too big to fail” …..then AIG gets bailed out again by the Obama administration with the support of a Democratic Congress….and even though its too big to fail no politician or pundit can be found who will call for antitrust provisions to be applied to them….then Republican opinion makers and theorists begin to scream about how the flagship company of their most favored constituency should be allowed to fail…..then AIG takes bailout money and spends 165 million big ones to pay its fat cat executives, almost ALL Republicans, I’d bet my last derivative on…..then EVERYONE for one day hollers bloody murder…..then the Republican talkers decide these execs deserve their money because its communism to deny them, even though if we’d let the company go bankrupt like they wanted not only would these m-f’ers not get their bonuses they’d be out on the street….then some execs pay the money back but one dude writes a self-martyring letter to the New York Times about how it’s BS that he doesn’t get his 3/4 of a million so he quits, never considering that he’d have gotten jack squat if the company had gone bankrupt, never considering that the wealth he “generated” was possible in part because other parts of the company were leveraged to the hilt on derivative trades….at some point the Democrats try to pass an idiotic tax on the bonus money they approved in the first place….all the while no one in government will level with the American people about the true state of the problem, leaving us to take Olberman or Limbaugh’s word for it, or the travesty that is CNN, or to scour the web for you tube videos of some congressman accidentally telling CSPAN that we were within a few hours of martial law on the day of the first bailout….all to say nothing of AIG head rat Ed Liddy who transformed Allstate from the “Good Hands” to the “Boxing Gloves” (their words, not mine)…..excuse me while I get a rag….
  • Eminent domain and good ole Haley, friend of the people…..of course, only the people once known as the bourbons….but I digress….eminent domain is the legal manner in which the government takes your land, pays you the value it decides the land has and does something with it for the public good…..historically for roads, bridges, electric lines….but in recent years has come to include taking your land to give to Nissan or some company like it so they will build their plant and bring jobs…. and there has been a backlash among the non-bourbons of the world so that many states have passed laws to prevent this, never considering that the jobs and tax base can transform an entire community for the better….but then only at the cost of depriving someone of their land rights which can be a slippery slope….so Mississippi passes a bill with near universal legislative support to prevent the state from taking your land to give to a private entity even though no other state so desperately needs the type of jobs that come from these incentives…..but Haley vetoes the bill and a group of Senators, including some from both parties change their votes and uphold Haley’s veto….and he never considers the conflict between this behavior and his constant carping about “big, intrusive government”….and while Republicans are all for giving a big corporation, such as an auto manufacturer huge incentives, otherwise known as free money, to build a factory (something TB favors) they are completely opposed to giving an auto manufacturer loans that must be paid back in order to keep existing facilities open (TB also favors this) and are oblivious to the conflict in their positions….meanwhile the bill Haley rightly but for all the wrong reasons vetoed could easily have been re-written to provide a windfall to the eminently domained landowner relative in scope to the benefit being conferred on the business and the community but that would be more complex….and if we try to address complex issues in the political world of the 21st century….you guessed it……our heads will explode.
  • Senator Chris Dodd. 
  • Apropos of nothing, certainly not because I’d like my head to stay intact or anything like that, but I’m wondering what the denizens of the TB universe think about the question of marijuana legalization. I read where it was among the most commonly submitted questions to the White House web page in advance of Obama’s virtual town hall this week.

Categories: Law · Politics · current events
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The Last Debate

October 15, 2008 · 5 Comments

Quote of the Day     “I don’t know what they call themselves doing but it ain’t debating.”     Smily in the previous post (here)

Does anybody need to watch this “debate” tonight? Are you undecided? If so, please respond to this post and explain what you are still waiting to find out and if you expect to (or do) hear it in the debates. I’m really curious. SC addressed the question of who is left that’s undecided a few weeks ago here, but what I want to post about this afternoon is what would make the debates worth watching. Here are my questions. I haven’t heard them asked in the first two, or anywhere else for that matter.

  • “Name three issues typically associated with the other party that you agree with?” If they can’t come up with them, follow up with, “how are we supposed to believe you are going to do anything in bipartisan manner if you can’t name three things of substance you have in common?”
  • To McCain, “what do you have to say to the people who think Obama is Muslim or a terrorist sympathizer.”
  • To Obama, “what do you have to say to the people who think McCain is morally deficient as evidenced by his involvement in the Keating 5 scandal and committing adultery while married to his first wife?”
  • “Is there a percentage of the overall Federal Budget that you think Military spending or Entitlement spending should not exceed, and if so, what is it?”
  • “Name your biggest three errors in judgment in your political careers on policy matters.” Follow up with either “what did you learn?” or “if you can’t recall a mistake of substance, how are we to believe you will recognize and correct future mistakes and be honest about addressing them?” This was asked of Bush in ’04 (not the follow up) and he famously and idiotically was unable to name anything he’d take back.
  • “What percentage of all taxes paid do you believe the group of people making over one million dollars a year should pay and the group of people making under seventy-five thousand should pay?”
  • “What will you do, if anything, to collect taxes from large corporations?”  Here’s the link to the article stating most corporations pay nothing.
There’s a lot more I’d ask if they’d ever turn the moderatin over to TB, but this is a start. I also think there ought to be a BS panel to make the telecast more interesting. Every time they start to use talking points, obvious scripted lines or over-generalizations, we’d buzz them–the first time gives the candidate a minor shock, number two mutes them for five minutes, number three drops them through a trap door into a pool of water. Really, they ought to put me in charge.
Y’all let me know what happens. I’m decided, they won’t ask my questions, and I ain’t watchin. I’ll be working on the Thursday pick’em post.

Categories: Politics · current events
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The Mississippi Debate in a Bizarro Universe

September 25, 2008 · 9 Comments

Word of the Day     Truthiness–”truth that comes from the gut, not books” –Stephen Colbert; the quality of preferring concepts or facts one wishes to be true rather than concepts or facts known to be true  –American Dialect Society

TB was wondering what a Presidential debate between Obama and McCain would sound like if both sides could inject their opponent with a “truthiness” serum to force both to speak as they are depicted in chain emails, blogs, and FOX News. The format of my debate is, of course, a conversation between the candidates.

  • McCain–Guten tag, Friends.
  • Obama-Yo wassup comrades.
  • M-Let’s start with the pledge of allegiance.
  • O-Dude, you know I ain’t down with that.
  • M-I pledge allegiance to everyone who makes over a million dollars, and to the corporations for which they stand, one nation, under my thumb, without liberals, its just us against all.
  • O-I think we’d do better to start by thanking Allah for everything, and warning you that there are 19 suicide bombers secretly placed around the building in case anyone tries something funny.
  • M-Let’s talk about the Constitution.
  • O-Sounds great. I’m a scholar you know. My favorite part is Section 13, Article 7, Verse 1: And Allah said, “let there be reperations.” Oh wait, that’s the part I’m going to introduce after I’m elected.
  • M-My friend, I think we should burn the whole thing.
  • O-Where do you stand on the financial system oversight proposals?
  • M-I’m sorry, I nodded off for a minute. Did I remember to take my heart pill? Anyway, I think we were talking about increasing parity in the Southeastern Conference.
  • O-Say, just how “married” is Sarah Palin anyway. I think she’s looking at me.
  • M-Yeah, she asked me to get your number. I already gave it my best shot, but being a war hero just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Speaking of war, my friend, it is my understanding that you are opposed to my plans to attack Iran and Russia and to march in to Canada and Cancun to liberate the English speaking peoples of North America, allowing them to join our Reich.
  • O-Until you agree to convert the populace to Wiccan, I cannot agree with your proposal. Perhaps if you would agree to relocate the Federal Treasury to Somalia, we could negotiate over the middle ground.
  • M-I think its time for my nap. My friend, let’s get out of here.
  • O-Sounds good, but follow me. I don’t want to run in to any servicemen on the way out. I hate shaking hands with soldiers. But first we should bid the audience farewell.
  • O-Peace out ya’ll.
  • M-Heil Myself.
  • M-Just meet me at my house. My friend, I have a fridge full of beer.
  • O-Sure, as long as Sarah’s coming. Which house?
  • M-I forget.

Categories: Humor · Politics
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TB’s Guide to Life (in the event of a Second Great Depression)

September 17, 2008 · 19 Comments

Quote of the Day     “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”     Franklin D. Roosevelt

The U.S. Government this week “bailed out” the largest insurance company in the United States, AIG, to save it from bankruptcy. “Bailed out” is another word for “bought.” For the record, government ownership of business or industry is a basic tenet of socialism or social democracy, which sounds better. This act was undertaken by the Republican administration of George Bush. And TB is glad they did it. 

I was listening just now to Senator Byron Dorgan who was called in to an emergency meeting with several congressional leaders of both parties. They were not asked, but were told what was to transpire. They were told the purchase was necessary because the failure of AIG would likely have sent our entire economy into depression and led to the failure of numerous large and small banks. They were told a failed AIG would result in numerous mutual fund collapses as the company is a top ten holding in numerous funds. And they were told a bankrupt AIG would lead to the collapse of several very large industrial companies. Dorgan wouldn’t name them, but I suspect GM and Ford would be among these names. Before I get to the guide, take a moment and consider that we were, and maybe are, on the precipice of a true Depression. I can’t even wrap my mind around the idea–it sounds alarmist and impossible. But so too did warnings of impending terrorist attacks before 9-11 and warnings of catastrophic storm surge before Katrina. 

This post isn’t about blame, though you should not be surprised that I have emphatic opinions on where it lies. No, if we sink into Depression we will care much less about blame than we will about survival and recovery. I’ve put at least ten minutes of thought into these suggestions, so print this post and keep it handy if all hell breaks loose (you’ll not be able to access it online after that, probably).

  1. New career opportunities will abound in the field of hobo-ing. You should find a good stick, a red bandana, a hip flask and a Jed Clampett hat right away so you’ll be ahead of the crowd. Store these where you keep your terrorist attack duct tape. You can use that to tape up the toes of your walking boots.
  2. Start hoarding crackers and sugar packets from restaurants. I don’t know what you will do with these, but anyone who’s grandmother lived through the Great Depression knows it’s important to have lots of crackers and sugar packets saved up.
  3. Buy a jalopy. When you get evicted from your house you are going to need a vehicle suitable for stacking your rocking chair, HDTV, 48 pack Igloo and sack of crackers on top while still keeping enough room for at least 8 people. All the Mexicans are already in California, so instead of west, drive south to look for migrant worker employment. From what I hear on Lou Dobbs, there shouldn’t be many folks left down Mexico way.
  4. Figure out what you have that can be bartered. People are going to be pawning all their good stuff so you should keep your HDTV and Xbox 360 as forms of cash. Let people watch ballgames and play “The Force Unleashed” in exchange for things like beer and crackers to go on your jalopy.
  5. Learn how to make moonshine. 
  6. Go ahead now and start being real nice to the ladies at your local Chinese buffet. And save those fortunes so you can learn a bit of the language.
  7. Work on your sad sack story. Here’s how mine starts out: “Back in ought-eight I was practicing law in courtrooms with running water and ever-thang. Used to wear a two-piece suit ever-day. Folks considered me a real gentleman. I gotta mind to get back in that game if I can ever catch a lucky break. Say mister, you wanna share this sugary cracker with me? I’ll tell ya all about it.”
  8. Find some good recipes for chili, stew, gopher and beans. 
  9. Put lots of Woody Guthrie tunes on your Ipod. 
  10. Re-think your old assumptions about macroeconomics. It’ll make for stimulating conversation as you bounce around the country in your jalopy or as you sit around a freight yard campfire over a plate of beans. It could impress your new South American overseer or your local communist Chinese overlord that you should get a little extra gopher in your stew since you might be worth saving from starvation. And if you do it soon enough, it might even make this list unnecessary.

Categories: Humor · Writing · current events
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Spending Money

August 20, 2008 · 2 Comments

Quote of the Day     “It’s clearly a budget.  It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”     George W. Bush

Paul B. Farrell is a financial columnist with over 1000 articles to his credit.  He appears regularly on all of the major news networks as an expert in his field.  He has authored four books, worked as executive vice president for Financial News Network and was an investment banker with Morgan Stanley.  This is all I can find out about him, but it seems enough to be satisfied he’s a capitalist.  Here is a link to his article A Nation of Warmongers on marketwatch.com.

You can read it for yourself if you’re interested, but here are just a few of the assertions in it that TB finds meaningful:

Americans spend 54% of their tax dollars on the military.  This figure represents 47% of the total military spending of the entire world.  Is it really necessary to spend that much?  If we cut it down to 40% of the budget, what could we do with that money?  Many people who call themselves Conservative because they believe in balanced budgets and restrained government size and spending are deluding themselves if they think their goals can be met while continuing to fund the military at these levels.  And TB believes in having the strongest military in the world, believes that our military personnel deserve support, and even believes that its necessary to use them on occasion.  Wisely.  But clearly, an inordinate proportion of our national resources is devoted to war.

Farrell also asks why it is necessary to spend over $200 Billion on no-bid private war contractors numbering 180,000–more personnel than the entire allotment of enlisted soldiers in Iraq.  This is where a big chunk of that unnecessary military spending is being wasted.  Remember Gomer Pyle having to do KP duty?  Wouldn’t happen in this day and age because a contractor peels the potatoes.  And gets a lot of cabbage to do it.  There are also a bunch of Blackwater employees carrying guns and expecting immunity from prosecution when they misuse them.  And making our actual soldiers look bad far too often–these dudes ain’t building schools and hospitals.

Finally, Farrell asks why the President and party (and he didn’t mention McCain, but should have) associated with “supporting our troops”  opposed passage of a new GI bill.  He should also have asked why the same group has let health care for wounded vets be conducted in rat infested, overcrowded hospitals.  If it were me, I’d just as soon do without their so-called “support.”

If you’re a die hard Republican who can’t figure out why TB went off the reservation and joined up with the lefties, read this article.  Even if you decide its all BS, it will at least give you a good idea of why TB and so many others are fed up with the neo-cons.

Categories: Money · Politics
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Global Warming Slowed by Manmade Global Cooling?

August 15, 2008 · 2 Comments

Quote of the Day     “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”       –Yogi Berra

I was forwarded an email today including the transcript of a NOVA episode from PBS.  To confirm its validity, I went to the NOVA website and discovered the episode actually first ran in 2006, though it was re-aired August 5, 2008.  Here is a link to the site.  

TB is no scientist.  I have reviewed many scientific studies over the years in connection with work and I have had the opportunity to discuss and dissect them with eminently qualified experts on both sides of the particular issues being reviewed.  I believe I have a pretty good grasp of what makes a scientific conclusion reliable.  I also have learned that there can be meaningful and legitimate debate over most all technical topics, but that if you follow the source of the money funding a study, you will have a good idea of what the study’s conclusions will be.  So in the global warming debate, I am continually searching for who funds the scientists publishing conclusions from every angle.  Almost always, the funds supporting scientists who deny man-made global warming come from Oil Companies.  This is a major reason TB does not accept their conclusions.

The transcript and article attached to the NOVA episode are particularly compelling to me because the researchers cited were working independently from one another and thus do not appear to have the same funding sources.  In a nutshell, they found that pollution in the 1970′s and 1980′s created a dust cloud that shielded the Earth from solar energy and actually slowed global warming.  Simultaneously, greenhouse gases were working to increase temperatures, but because of the pollution clouds, the rate of warming was slowed. There is evidence pollution is responsible for severe drought conditions in Africa and elsewhere as well as respiratory illnesses most everywhere. As pollution controls have begun to assert themselves these have abated in some areas, and if China and India can get their pollution under control it will improve conditions in many other places.  But get this–as pollution has begun to decrease, more sun is allowed into the atmosphere and consequently the temperature is rising faster than ever.

In many ways, how you feel about global warming is a matter of faith.  After all, in conversation about it don’t we always say we either “believe” in it or “don’t believe?”  I’m not prepared to vouch for anybody’s work. My conclusion may be wrong.  But from what I’ve read and observed, “I believe” global warming is a serious problem.  If you are interested in the subject, you ought to read the transcript from the PBS site I linked above.  I know the Republicans will do nothing to address global warming.  I fear the Democrats will be just as timid, but I hope they at least get the chance come November.

In the meantime, it sure has been beautiful, and unseasonably cool all week here in South Carolina. Fodder for the non-believers I suppose.

Categories: Politics · science
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A Political Conversation

July 26, 2008 · 5 Comments

Quote of the Day      ”When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.”       –Will Rogers

As closely as I can recount it, here is a lunch time conversation I was involved in this week.  Enjoy.

Person1–What was that sound?–My God I thought the building was coming down.  I was fixin to run.

Person2–I think it was a car in the parking garage next door.

P1–Liked to a scared me to death.  You know, with all these disasters and everything.  My Sunday School class was just talking about all these disasters and how we’re going to elect Osama Bin Laden and I’m gettin myself ready.  Don’t you believe these disasters have the hand of God in them?  I do, the end times are goin to be here soon.

Person 3–I know.

TB–Blank Stare

P1–Osama Bin Laden scares the Hell outta me.  You know he don’t put his hand on his heart and salute the flag.

P3–I know.

P1–You can’t tell me he ain’t gonna try to let them Muslims take over.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he ain’t got horns stickin outta his head. (TB note–I think the horns part was only half serious)

P3–I’m afraid of that too.

TB–Blank Stare

P1–What do you think (addressing P2)

P2–Well, I think we have two real choices for President this time.  I think Obama is a good, principled man, but I don’t agree with them.  I think McCain is a real honorable man so I’m gonna vote for him.

TB–<Raises eyebrows, takes a bite of burger>

P1–Well, I think Osama bin Laden’s gonna bring this country down.

P3–I can’t stand them boom boxes them people are always blaring in my neighborhood.

TB–Blank Stare

P1–You ain’t sayin much.  What do you think? (to TB)

TB–I’m votin for Obama.  <returns to hamburger>

P1–Blank stare

Categories: Humor · Politics
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Multi-tasking, or How to Make Issue Worlds Collide

June 6, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Advice for Obama, continued….

Groceries and prison overcrowding:  they go together like peas and a box of chocolates.  Stay with me.  People hate high cereal prices and they hate crime.  Bonus hatred for illegal immigrants.  We are going to set up a program to provide cheap labor in the form of non-violent inmates, largely meth-heads and Worldcom executives.  On a volunteer basis, these prisoners will be rewarded with time off their sentences in exchange for providing labor to jobs not many Americans really desire–on farms and in chicken processing plants here in Mississippi for the most part.  Right now, these jobs are largely targeted by illegal immigrants.  Convicts will receive a nominal salary in addition to their time off, which will be taxed at the normal rate, then deducted further to contribute to their food and shelter at county lockup, and the remainder placed in an account for them to access when they serve their time.  Food prices will drop or remain more stable as a result of lower overhead, prison expenses will be curtailed, and the job market for illegal immigrants will shrink.  Everybody wins, am I right?

Categories: Humor · Politics
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