1. I will build my “Field of Dreams”!

“Ray, people will come Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you look around, you’ll say. It’s only $20 per person. They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they’ll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they’ll watch the game and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.”

2. Gas prices would be sure to skyrocket, if they haven’t already, and very few people would be able to drive, so I would try and acquire as many bicycles, horses, and horse carriages as I could get my hands on. If I start today, I can hopefully purchase 100 bikes @ $75 per bike. When it is entirely too expensive for any working class person to drive I can try and get $200-500 per bike, and make a $20,000-50,000 profit. That may seem like a lot of money, but I’ll have to pick the perfect time to sell. I can’t wait until everyone is totally broke or it will backfire.

3. I need to buy acreage! People will definitely have their homes repo’d and will need somewhere to live besides a big, rat infested, run-down, hotel full of meth addicts. So, I could sub-divide my properties and build small, cheap, cute & cuddly cottages that will be a very attractive place to live. I will be as selective as I can with the kind of people I lease the property to. I won’t charge an arm and a leg, but I will try and make enough profit, so I can take care of those people. I will provide water, food, shelter, gambling, booze, police protection, and maybe an underground escort service.

4. I need to get my hands on some HGH or steroids. We’re all bound to get sick eventually and need some super drugs to survive. HGH has worked wonders for HIV or Aids patients and a few local athletes here in Houston, and can help keep our immune system strong. Only the strong survive!